


She Burned Out the Cold

by Livinginfictions



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence-Doomsday Episode, Clueless Doctor, Episode Fix-It: s02e13 Army of Ghosts, Episode Fix-It: s02e14 Doomsday, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, POV Ninth Doctor, POV Tenth Doctor, Pining, Rose has a lot of Patience and the Doctor is an Idiot, Slow Burn, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, Telepathy before Romance, and it's all the Doctor's fault, eventual established relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 06:06:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 69,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14182521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livinginfictions/pseuds/Livinginfictions
Summary: Pressed for time, the Doctor must create a telepathic link with Rose, but she wants more of it. How is he supposed to deny her?Chapter Ratings are marked in beginning comments.Higher rated chapters are marked 'A Bit Inbetween'. Feel free to skip them if you're looking for a sfw read, they aren't required for the plot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this first chapter in like an hour and a half, been obsessed with this idea all day and had to write it down before my head exploded. This is only a teen rated chapter, and I'll mark those chapters that get a little more mature/possibly explicit.
> 
> Warning, this fic is entirely un-beta'd, so all mistakes are on me.

They were running, running faster than they’d ever run before. The Doctor held Rose’s hand with an iron grip, making sure there was no chance of her falling behind. After what’d happened in Utah, he would never let her go behind him. She was always first up the ladder, down this hall, through some doors that he didn’t have time to close behind them. Rose had to get to safety before he did, and it was just around the corner. As though sensing their urgency, the Tardis’ deep blue door swung open, though he’d been sure to lock it when they arrived. They ran in, Rose dropping to her knees, gasping in air. The Doctor slammed the door shut and ran up to the console. They weren’t safe yet. They needed to get out of here and quickly, oh so quickly.

But he wasn’t that fast. A Tardis was supposed to have six pilots and he was by himself. They needed to be able to make multiple stops, had to shake the Durians, a species of alien named after and descended from the smelly Earth fruit. They were surprisingly advanced, and had a craving for new Time Lord technology. Normally he’d know to avoid them, but the bazaar he’d taken Rose to was so large and had so many species, he hadn’t bothered to scan them all. How could he have known there were scavengers perusing the stall right next to where he’d been explaining, or if he had to admit it boasting, the superior abilities of the Tardis to Rose?

How the Doctor loved taking Rose to bazaars and farmer’s markets, and intergalactic malls. She never asked for anything too expensive, and the look on her face when he picked something up for her that she’d clearly loved but avoided asking for was one he treasured. It was fascinating to him to see how she incorporated things from their travels into her human life. She had a whole set of jewelry that shifted colors depending on the atmospheric makeup of the planet they were on, and once the suddenly purple sheen of her ring had even saved her from accidentally breathing in toxic gas that’d been leaked through the vents on a space station they were visiting. She’d picked up some heavy running boots with advanced gripping capabilities that’d prevented more than one accident or twisted ankle, and even had a pair of sparkly heels that morphed into flats with a click of the toes.

After only a few days of being on the Tardis, Rose had decided she needed shower supplies, and dragged him to one of those intensely smelly shops that carried lotions, and essential oils, perfumes, and spritzes to help you sleep. He’d had to engage his respiratory bypass just to make it through the trip without sneezing his brain out. She’d finally selected an entire set of every cream and hair care product she could possibly need in the scent of the pranditzy fruit. Its closest Earth relative was the dragonfruit and she now permanently smelled of the spicy, slightly nutty food that had apparently become her favourite. He could pick her out in most crowds as long as they were sometime before the 73th century, which was when the fruit had first been cultivated. Sometimes he thought she did it on purpose, just to intoxicate him, especially when she added a matching perfume that left him in a daze. Rose had that effect on him anyway, though.

Rose. She could help, but he didn’t have time to teach her everything she needed to know. Learning to fly the Tardis took decades; even he didn’t know _all_ of her quirks. He needed to teach her, to show her everything he knew, but he only had seconds before they _needed_ to be gone. Groaning in frustration at what he was sure would have to be done, the Doctor scrubbed a hand over his closely cropped hair and went over to where Rose was kneeling on the grate, still trying to catch her breath. Her hair was slightly frizzy from the humidity of Dropant, a planet that got the perfect combination of rain and warm weather to puff up her hair as soon as they’d left the Tardis. She’d stripped off a layer almost immediately, and her overshirt was now tied around her waist, leaving her arms and collarbones bare and glistening. Normally it would drive him to distraction, but he was too worried to spare more than a single thought to it.

“I need your help.” Immediately she rose to her feet, controlling her gasping, ready to do anything he asked. She trusted him so easily it hurt. He always made comments about her wandering off, but when it was important Rose was an avid listener, almost never questioning his reasoning. Now he had to use that trust to do something so wildly out of line. “Rose, you have to help me fly the Tardis. We have to shake off these Durians because if they get their hands on this ship they will destroy entire galaxies. The technology of the Tardis was never meant to be in anyone’s hands but the Time Lords. Even other Gallifreyans couldn’t go near them.” He was rambling, trying to push away what he had to ask of her, but knowing he didn’t have any other choice if he wanted her to be safe. She had to be safe.

Rose was nodding her understanding and moving toward the console. “Tell me what to do.” Oh, he could have kissed her. So eager to help, even when she should never have been put in this situation in the first place. Jackie Tyler’s words came back to him again. _Can you promise me she’ll be safe?_

How could he? He’d be perfectly happy to only ever take her to the safest places in the universe, but that wasn’t what Rose wanted. So often she begged for an adventure, and he could never properly refuse her. Sometimes, like now, the adventure found them.

Again, he went over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “You don’t know enough about how to fly it, and I need you to know. There’s a way I can teach you, it’ll take only a couple of seconds, and we can get out of here, but it means...it means I have to go inside your mind.”

Into her mind was putting it nicely. He had to throw his own memories, his own knowledge of the the Tardis and how to fly it into her head and then make her use it to help him escape. This form of telepathy was so inappropriate on Gallifrey that even now the Doctor felt his ears turning red. She was already starting to nod, but he needed her to understand. “It’ll be so quick, I’ll be in and out and I’ll never to do it again. I promise, but we need to get away. Please Rose, it’s important.”

She was nodding, vigorously now because he hadn’t accepted the first time. “Okay, I believe you. Get on with it then.”

“It might hurt, and I’m so sorry about that.” But they were running out of time. No, they’d run out of time a while ago, and he was still stalling, because it would _definitely_ hurt. She didn’t have enhanced telepathic or psychic abilities and that would make this even more uncomfortable.Trying not to show how nervous he was, the Doctor placed the first two fingers of either hand on Rose’s temples.

Keeping his blue eyes on hers, trying to reassure her, he nudged at her dormant mind. He nudged until he found an opening in the miniscule barriers she had, ones that probably only appeared because of her time spent in the Tardis, receiving the machine’s language translations. Sparks of light surrounded him as he peeked just a sliver of himself into her mind, and he tried desperately to ignore it, to ignore how very nice it was. There was no time to be any more gentle and he pushed. Everything he could imagine her needing to know about how to pilot the Tardis he shoved in, immediately yanking his mind and hands away from her. There, he was inside as little as he could possibly have been.

The effect on her was instantaneous, holding her forehead and doubling over, Rose was gasping again, this time from pain. Through gritted teeth she hissed, “Where are we going?”

“First to the Vortex, then we’ll need to bounce for a while.” And he slammed the first of many buttons in the sequence to dematerialize, but when he reached for one of the levers, he was met with her hand, already pushing it up.

It had been so long since he’d had another pilot’s help. It was almost fun, knowing that he only needed to take care of half the console and she would get the rest. The Tardis shook violently, but Rose never missed a beat, yanking down on more levers and even tossing him the mallet just as he was about to ask for it. Once the pain had subsided a little Rose gave a very Doctor-like whoop and flipped a few switches. Oops, that would fade. Common side effect was the temporary leeching of characteristics.

As they shifted through time, then jumped through space, the Doctor had only to hit that button and Rose would be off, running through the pattern of dematerialization like she’d been doing it for a couple centuries. He controlled the coordinates, and she kept things moving.

His excitement warred with his worry, and both of those fought tooth and nail with the sheer pleasure it had been to step into the mind of another being for the first time in so very long. His thoughts jumped around these emotions. His Rose was so clever, look at her go-but she wasn’t his and look how he’d hurt her, was she still in pain?- but he wanted so desperately to go back to her, to caress her mind the way he would never be allowed to caress her body. Dammit, he needed to focus on the task at hand!

They continued like this for a good long while, never even finishing a materialization before they were gone again. The Tardis was smoking slightly, and shaking wildly. Rose and the Doctor both held on for dear life as a particularly violent yank nearly sent them both under the railings and down to the engine.

Finally, the Doctor left the Tardis to float quietly outside Nebulae 341M and dropped onto the jumpseat. “We lost them. No one could possibly have followed us through all that.” He grinned blissfully at their safety and then at Rose as she joined him on the seat. “You were fantastic, Rose. Absolutely brilliant.”

She grinned back, a replica of his, “Ready for anything, me. Ooh, that’s weird. Why’d I sound like that?”

The Doctor frowned. He hadn’t considered, now that they were safe, he would need to remove the memories. It must be awfully overwhelming for her to have an info dump swirling around her head. And he’d just told her he wouldn’t do it again.

“Sorry, side effect. I know I said I wouldn’t have to, but I should really get those out no-” He’d only gotten one hand to her forehead before she scooted back.

“I don’t want you to. I want to remember how to fly the Tardis. So I can help you again if you need it.” She was watching him again, apprehensively biting her bottom lip.

“Rose, I can fly the Tardis just fine on my own. This was a very unusual situation!” He tried to sound properly offended, but the idea of Rose helping him pilot on a regular basis made the corners of his mouth twitch up.

Rose could clearly sense he was faking it, and she smiled in that way that made his breathing hitch. “Come on Doctor, it’d make things so much easier. Thanks to you I remember that there’s _supposed_ to be six pilots! I wanna be useful.”

Doing it once was atrocious, but doing it again, and knowing how thorough he’d need to be to blend the information with her own memories made it feel absolutely sinful. For a moment the Doctor was glad he was the only Time Lord left, so there would be no one to witness his moral depravity.

“Fine, but this stays between us.” He swallowed hard, trying to think of a reason for her silence. “I don’t want every Tom, Dick and Harry askin’ how to fly the Tardis. An’ I’ll have to build you some mental defenses so no one can try to get information from you. Are you sure you want me to do this?” One last chance for her to pull away, and he couldn’t decide what answer he wanted to hear.

Her eyes were sparkling with excitement. “Yeah, it was alright when you did it before, felt kinda nice until you put all that stuff in here.” Nice? Him breaching her mind was nice? The Doctor knew what kind of state his mind was in, and it was, to say the least, unpleasant. Being anywhere near Rose’s mind had made him feel like some kind of venom and he was loath to go back and accidentally leave behind any less benign characteristics.

But here she was, facing him on the jumpseat, ready and willing to just let him...the only word he could think of was violate. Mental connections like these were only done in the most private and intimate of situations on Gallifrey. This was something he was supposed to do with a lover, not-he gulped at the thought-Rose. She didn’t realize what she was asking him, but to explain it to her would mean admitting how awful it was that he’d done it in the first place. Sighing heavily, he resolved to make this as painless as possible for her. He could take his time now, no, no he _had_ to take his time. He didn’t want to, he wanted to be in and out and away from her to forget that he’d ever done this. Yes, that’s what he wanted.

Gently, he placed his fingers back on her temples, and she lifted her hands to his wrists in preparation, making him hide a shiver. He barely touched the barrier. No rude nudges this time, he just softly pressed his mind against her mental walls, more like mosquito netting than anything, until they fell away from him. _Oh, this was different_. The knowledge that Rose wasn’t telepathic made her thoughts only that much more amazing. So organized and yet so colourful, streaks of gold and blue and pink across his presence even as he rested at the very front of her mind.

For a tiny moment he lost himself in the warmth and comfort of her psyche. It was like a sip of hot cocoa to his wintery mind and he shivered again at the calm she was bringing to him. Slowly he realized she must not be projecting it on purpose, she was clearly only trying to keep herself calm, it was nothing for him. Right, he wasn’t supposed to be here.

Back to business. Searching for the invading Tardis knowledge, he heard himself say, “If there’s anything you don’t want me to see Rose just imagine a wall, or a locked door. Anything you like, and I’ll stay away, promise. I’ve got to move this information somewhere safer.” Slowly traveling along her thoughts he felt a tingling feeling, like he’d been running his hands along a coarse wall and it made his fingertips go slightly numb. Only instead it was his mind. Once in a while, there were locked doors, simple ones like her front door at the estate. Others had windows in them, and he resisted the urge to peek. For the most part though, she left her past open to him. He got distracted more than once by images of tiny Rose playing with other children, or her texting someone during maths class.

Carefully he tucked the Tardis knowledge into its appropriate spot, next to her ability to climb knotted rope, do a backflip and the splits. Flying the Tardis would feel like second nature to her now. Scowling at his own weakness, he traveled back to the very edges of her mind, humming reassuringly to Rose when he felt her worrying. It was almost like she wanted him to stay, but no. The Doctor kept his walls up firmly, sharing only what he had to with her as he repaired the tear in her mental barriers. Manually, he encouraged the growth of thicker, more safe walls that would protect her from other telepaths. He refused to think about the space he’d left for only himself to return, because he never would and it was just a precaution.

Now that he was done, he really didn’t want to go. He was basking in how warm and bright it was in Rose’s head. So different from his own shadowy and fiercely controlled emotions, she let her feelings float to the top. Typical of a non-telepath, but he loved it. Loved how open she was, how genuine. If he let himself he could even imagine that those warm feelings were for him. But he wouldn’t. Because they weren’t.

Just barely remembering not to pull out of her head too quickly, he backed up and let the now much sturdier curtain doorway he’d left for himself close softly as he retreated back to his own icy mind. He opened his eyes.

Rose’s had drifted shut almost immediately, but she was still hanging on to his wrists, lightly rubbing the pulse point there that gave away how quickly his hearts were beating. Damn them, he’d forgotten how hard it was to control his heartsbeat when he was bonding with someone. He’d forgotten what it felt like to bond with someone at all.

No! No, he hadn’t been bonding, he’d even made sure she wouldn’t get any leeching from him this time. They were completely separated.

“Doctor?” She was looking at him with glazed eyes, “M’tired.”

Of course she was. Mental communication, even passively, was tiring business. His unhappy thoughts fled as he tried to help Rose stand, and then gave up and just lifted her in his arms to carry her to her room. As the door swung open of its own accord, the Doctor gaped. The Tardis must really like Rose. The room he stepped into was opulent. The size of the entire console room, not including the closet that seemed to have a direct link to the wardrobe room. Pastel pink walls with white crown moulding, and a creamy carpeting that was scattered with bags from the different markets he often took her and old dresses that were only worn once. They didn’t like visiting the same time period more than once. He recognized each of them, but his eye was caught on that first one he’d seen her in. So simple, with a black top and swishy maroon skirt. It was hanging up from a wall hook. That was the first time he’d told her she was beautiful, and then he’d gone and ruined it with that human comment. Since then he’d tried to make up for it, reminding her after every new outfit, even the non-fancy ones, how...appropriate they looked.

Rose sighed in his arms, burying her face in his leather jacket, and the Doctor knew it was time to let her sleep. He carefully draped her onto the canopied bed and tugged off her running shoes before tucking the purple comforter around her. She’d hung onto the edge of his sleeve, and seemed very unhappy when he pulled it out of her hand. Her grumpy frown into the pillow made him weak enough that he let the jacket slide off his shoulders and placed it back in her arms. His jacket was his armor, and without it he felt half naked. He was in Rose’s bedroom, in just his jumper and jeans. Feeling heady, he backed away and out the door, closing it behind him.

When Rose came back to the console room a few hours later the Doctor’s breath hitched as he slid out from under the paneling. She was wearing his jacket, holding the collar up to her face to hide a yawn. “I heard humming.” she mumbled, going to sit on the jumpseat.

“That’ll be the Tardis now, I was humming along with her just a bit ago. She likes music. I told you your connection with her would grow while you traveled with me.” His voice was only slightly louder, and he tried to memorize the picture in front of him before she woke up properly and he had to look away.

Rose’s face scrunched cutely and confusedly, “No, it wasn’t her, it was...okay, I guess it was her after all.” She smiled softly at him, and he jerked his head back to his work, repairing the circuits they’d fried in their escape


	2. A Bit Inbetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have a couple of these scenes popping up intermittently, they're not set in a specific time within the fic  
> , just the general time period of the chapters around them, but they do lend to the overall story. Just a little extra filler. XD  
> Reminder that this is completely un-beta'd, so all mistakes are on me.
> 
> Rating: Teen & Up

They were laying on the floor of the observation room, nestled in a pile of pillows and blankets. He was on his back opposite Rose, the top of his head brushed against the top of hers, and he tucked his hands behind his neck to control his urge to run his hands through her pranditzy scented hair.

The ceiling was programmed to provide a view of the sun system outside the Tardis. Twelve suns of varying sizes, all at different points in their lifespans, orbiting each other. Rose had been leaning out of the front doors to see, but she’d been up for far too long at that point, and was listing with exhaustion from their neverending running. It’d worried him, leading him to suggest this room where she could fall asleep safely as she took it all in.

The trip through the Tardis and setting up their nest had woken her up slightly, prompting her to start a conversation that would make his ears go red had it not been for her totally benign tone of voice.  
  
“So, do you really _dance_ , Doctor?” He could feel her shifting her arms around while she spoke, and it called to mind images of her when she played with her fingernails. The tiny ticks of her nails tapping together confirmed his theory.

He couldn’t bring himself to get tense, things were so calm between them. For once, he didn’t feel like Rose was just winding him up. “Well yeah, I’m a Time Lord, not dead. It’s just been a few centuries.”

She giggled a little, “So, is it like, normal dancing? Like what us humans do? Or do you have some kind of Vulcan mind-meld thing? And are there like limits to who you can...dance with?”

He still wasn’t getting any teasing vibes, at least none that raised his hackles. “Humans aren’t the only ones that’re, let’s just say lenient, about what species they spend their time with. And how many times do I have to tell you, Time Lords came first. You look like us, talk like us, and even dance like us.” It was surprisingly easy to talk about such a sensitive topic when they gave it an innocent name.

Rose was quiet for a little bit, but soon he heard a small whisper, “Does that mean, you, I mean Time Lords in general, look like normal blokes. Like, downstairs?”

Was she getting embarrassed? He was the one being questioned about his genitals! “Well, yeah...but why would you want to know all this stuff?”

She coughed a little, but her voice sounded more normal as she said, “Tit for tat and all that, you always claim to know so much about humans. All about our biology, and our future. I should get to know something about you.”

“Well you picked a pretty strange topic. I’d tell you almost anything you wanna know about us, about me.” His voice had gone soft, and he cursed how comfortable she made him. He couldn’t think of much he wasn’t willing to tell her, if she ever asked.

He could hear her smile when she responded, “I”ll keep that in mind.”

After that she was quiet again. It was okay, it was a comfortable quiet. After almost an hour, he got up to head to bed, draping another blanket over top of Rose’s curled form. Talking to Rose about dancing had made him a little antsy. He’d noticed recently, that for the first time in a long time, he had a lot more trouble keeping his body under control. This trouble usually appeared around her.

For years he’d just let his body run on auto-pilot. He turned on his respiratory bypass when he needed it, kept his hearts at a normal pace, and regulated anything that became abnormal from exertion or stress. But around Rose, sometimes he couldn’t get things to work right. His breathing got heavy whenever they hugged for longer than usual, and his hearts raced when she grabbed his hand for no reason he could see except that she wanted to. And, much as he hated to admit it to himself, sometimes the area Rose had been asking about made itself known if he was a little too close, in a space just a little too small.

He noticed things about her as well. Each time she walked in the room his senses did a thorough examination of her. Safe? Happy? Healthy? But also, how did her clothes fit her, and was she wearing that shimmering lipgloss he liked so much? It was slightly infuriating when his mind insisted on informing him every time she decided to forego wearing a bra, or even when she was wearing a strapless one. When her shirt was just a little too short his eyes jumped her stomach each time she raised her arms.

 

He was confused, and sometimes frustrated by his lack of control, but Rose had never made him feel anything less than pleasant. At worst he took a cold shower or actually bothered to change into more comfortable pajama bottoms before bed. It certainly wasn’t enough to make him want to act any different around her. Rose was good, better than bananas even. He wouldn’t give up anything about the most pure thing in his life, just because he acted a little more human than usual.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This work is completely unbeta'd and therefore all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

Oh, it was a good day. Everyone had lived. The Doctor was so excited, so purely joyful that he’d even let Rose try to teach him to dance. He fumbled awfully, not having tried to do anything more coordinated with his feet than running in quite a while. “I’m sure I used to know this stuff.” Turning to the front of the Tardis, he called out to Jack, “Close the doors will you? Your ship is about to blow up, there’s gonna be a draft.” He tried to look annoyed, but his mood was just too high.

Dancing wasn’t really working for him, and he was about to let Rose dance with Jack, with minal whining, if only so he could see her laugh. Then it hit him. In a flash of gold he remembered how to dance. Each step he would need to take was twinkling around the edges. “Rose! I’ve just remembered.” he called.

She already had her hand in Jack’s but there was no way the Doctor was going to watch her dance with him when the music was making his fingers snap. “I can dance!” And it only took a tiny bit of banter before she was letting him swing her around the console. As he dipped her down, he felt his own stomach swoop, and he quickly pulled her back up again. There, in the back of his mind, Rose’s golden feelings were sneaking their way in. It was clearly accidental, Rose probably didn’t realize she was doing it. It never would have happened if his guards were up as high as they usually were, he’d just been so excited they must’ve fallen down a bit. Her infectious happiness was heightening his own. Logically he knew he should worry, but today was a good day. He smiled at her, and felt that gold warming him from the inside out.

He turned excitedly to Jack and it was immediately obvious that whatever attraction Jack had had to Rose had faded away. His flirtatious smile was gone, replaced by a much more genuine one as he tapped his foot to the music. What had done that? Maybe he really was bigger on the inside. So overjoyed was he that the Doctor pulled Jack by the hand to join their dance. They danced until he saw Rose’s eyes start to droop, until her laughter quieted to dazed giggles. Sweeping her into his arms when she protested going to bed, he brought her to the edge of the hall and let her down, nudging her in the right direction. As she stumbled down the hall she hummed a familiar song, once that hadn’t played on the radio tonight.

It was the one he often hummed as he fixed the Tardis during the night. He didn’t realize she’d ever heard him. He didn’t blame her for remembering it though, it was very catchy. He began to hum it as well as he headed back to the console, ready to shift them into the vortex and find a nice place to float for the night. He almost forgot Jack was there, but his tall, prettyboy figure was draped happily over the jumpseat.

“You don’t have to worry you know.” he said, pulling off his last jacket layer and sending it to the floor to join the hat and overcoat he’d removed earlier.

The Doctor was barely listening, still humming and smiling and petting the coral at the top of the console lightly. “Worry ‘bout what? Today is a fantastic day, why would I worry?”

“I mean about me, I’ll leave Rose alone. I should have realized before that she was yours.” He was smiling goodnaturedly, but the Doctor frowned at him.

“Mine?” The word sent a tingle down his spine that the Doctor resolutely ignored. “She’s not mine.” It came out much sadder than he meant it to, and he hoped Jack didn’t notice. But it was important he know this. “Rose isn’t anyone’s. She’s her own, and I don’t want you muckin’ about trying to make her some kind of possession. If you even try, you’ll have to deal with me. And, come to think of it, her mother.” He rubbed his cheek at the memory of his first proper meeting with Jackie Tyler.

Jack held up his hands in defeat, “Okay, okay, I already said I’d leave her alone. So...if I’m gonna be here for a while, can I at least get a place to sleep?”

The Doctor stared down at the console, the shared joy from Rose beginning to fade. “Sixth door on the left, stay out of the rooms on the right.” Rose’s room was on the right, but so was the kitchen, so he didn’t know why he was warning Jack away from them all.

The click of Jack’s boots told the Doctor he was leaving, and he rubbed his face once he knew he was properly alone. There was nothing wrong with the Tardis, no maintenance he could think of that would take his mind off what was now beginning to bother him. His mental barriers. He’d assumed they’d fallen down, and that was why Rose was able to get in his head. It was quite a feat, even if they were most of the way down, for a non-telepath to get into a Time Lord’s mind. But Rose was tenacious, even subconsciously, and it wouldn’t surprise him if she’d slipped through.

But he’d checked, run through all of them, every wall, every locked door was firmly in place, with no cracks to be seen. The only way was if she’d been invited. Oh. Oops. The Doctor rubbed his head and had the strange urge to pull on an earlobe. The door, the opening he’d left for himself if he ever needed to get back in Rose’s head. For emergency purposes only, of course. It worked both ways. He’d also left an opening for Rose, one that she wasn’t even aware of but her subconscious was taking advantage. He could dull it, like muffling a speaker with a thick blanket, but the only way to truly stop it would be to get back in her head and remove his own entryway. But then he’d have to explain that there even was an entryway, and he didn’t know how to do that without making himself sound very invasive. He wasn’t planning to use it!

Removing his shoes, the Doctor padded down the hall, third door on the right, just across from his own in case she needed him. Not that she ever would. He leaned against the wall next to her door and closed his eyes. This proximity was a bit of a stretch for her, but he could still feel the faintest pressing in his mind, her subconscious trying to push a bit of happy at him. She was trying to make him happy.

His hearts ached, and the Doctor nearly slept right there so he could keep feeling it, but Jack would surely see him. Rose would too, and he didn’t have any good excuses. Sighing, the Doctor spoke to the Tardis, urging his door to move a few spots further down the hall. He needed to keep his distance until he’d worked out a way to keep her out. No one but him ever got to see the Tardis move things, and he was still awed by how his door simply rippled out of existence and then back in a dozen feet away. Like the Tardis did herself when he moved her. What beautiful technology. He sent his appreciation to his ship and felt her joy bounce back to him.

And hiding within that technology, was Rose’s beautiful mind, calling to him as though it wanted to cure him of all the wounds the Time War had left him. Shaking himself and straightening his jacket, he went to his room and locked the door. Once inside the distance was enough that he couldn’t feel her presence. It wasn’t a nice feeling, being alone again. He groaned a little and tossed his shoes to the floor before flopping face first onto his tiny bed.

How long was he going to last, with Rose’s mind pressing at his whenever they were close? At least he could tell now which feelings were hers, and which were his. It startled him to realize the dancing was also from her. She’d sent it to him specifically, wanting him to know how to dance with her. Of course she did. Jack may have arrived, but until now the Doctor was her only company. Why wouldn’t she want the person she spent the most time around to know how to dance with her?

Thoughts and worries swam in his head, and he found himself missing her presence, the little bit of warmth she brought him. He fell into a light, uncomfortable sleep. It eased for a little while, but he woke up again when there was a knock at his door. Gold pulsed, and he tried to dampen his smile, tried to muffle the feeling. His bed was much closer to the door than hers was, because his room was much smaller, which meant she was oh so close to him.

  
Blinking rapidly against his grogginess and schooling his face into one of relaxation he lifted himself from the thin mattress and opened the door. She’d only managed to change her jeans to pajamas, and still wore the union jack all over her chest. Braless, his traitorous mind told him, but he tried topush the thought away. “Something wrong, Rose?”

“Oh, were you sleeping? I didn’t even realize you slept, like, properly I mean. I’ve seen you kind of kipping in the library sometimes, but I didn’t realize you went to bed at night. Kind of assumed you just talked to the Tardis until I woke up.” Was she rambling? It was beautiful, but also slightly worrying.

“Rose. Are you okay?” He opened the door a little wider, and leaned forward. They were very close now, and he could feel the gold quite clearly now that he was aware of it. She wasn’t really sending him anything anymore, but instead she accidently projected a little fear. He swung the door open properly and pulled her into a hug. “What scared you?”

She chuckled a little against his chest, but didn’t pull away. “How’d you know that? I..uh, I had a nightmare. I know it’s dumb, but I went to talk to you, and accidentally walked into the wardrobe. Your room moved.” A disjointed emotion and image trickled through and made him squeeze her tighter. She couldn’t find him.

The Doctor rubbed his chin against the top of her head a little, enjoying the scent of her. On the top was a little bit of sweat, probably from the running and the hanging from a barrage balloon. There was a bit of dirt and plaster from exploded walls and falling onto dusty floors. And underneath it all was Rose and her signature spicy pranditzy. She’d been using all of her products for so long he couldn’t tell the difference between it and her natural smell anymore.

“I’m sorry it moved, I’ll put it back in the morning. Bad idea to move it while I’m in it. Speaking of, wanna come in? We can talk for a bit if you like.”

He hadn’t bothered to take off his jacket before, but he did now, hanging it on the back of the door as she followed him inside. She’d never been in his room before, he realized, and suddenly he was nervous. It wasn’t special. He was only ever in here to sleep, shower, and change. His small single was pressed against the wall, and a tiny nightstand next to it, along with the top of his dresser and every spare flat surface was covered in trinkets and gadgets that he deconstructed and tinkered with when he couldn’t sleep.

Rose didn’t bother trying to clean off the only chair in the room, which was currently covered in books, and just sat on the edge of the bed. Again, the Doctor was in a bedroom with Rose, in just his jumper and jeans. But this time it was his room, and he couldn’t very well leave. The fear she still projecting kept him focused, and he stripped off his jumper as well, leaving him in just his undershirt as he joined her on the bed. Maybe if he was as vulnerable as she was, at least physically, it would make her feel better. “Wanna talk about it?”

To his surprise, she shook her head. “Actually, do you think we could talk about...something else?

“Like what?” He could think of a thousand different things, but none of them would interest Rose. He wasn’t very good at relaxed conversation with her, usually preferring to give lectures about whatever planet they were on, or listen to her rant about home.

She seemed almost shy, and peered up at him through her lashes. “I was wondering, if you could make it so I could talk to the Tardis. Sometimes I hear someone, I mean her, humming. I like it, but I wanna be able to communicate with her, like you do.”

She wanted more? He didn’t think her mind could take much more, not without some serious expansion. He would have to go in and help her figure out how to control that. She would have to train to be a proper telepath if she wanted to talk to the Tardis. His mind backtracked, he would have to go back in. The thought of being back in that warm brilliance of hers, of feeling clean and light again, was intoxicating. No, no, this couldn’t go any farther.

“Rose, what you’re askin’ for. It’s proper stuff. It’s actual telepathy. And you know, the Tardis doesn’t really talk, not even to me. It’s mostly just emotions, and images and stuff. Not all it’s cracked up to be, honestly. You don’t want that.”

She looked enraptured by the idea. “Real telepathy? Like, could I talk to you, if I did it?” If he made the opening between them very much bigger she could. “I would love to be able to talk to the Tardis. Even if it was just feelings and stuff. Could I talk to other telepaths? Like when we visit other planets, could I just pop a ‘hello’ into their heads?”

He couldn’t help laughing. “Not quite, and I worry any more power will make you a bit too jeopardy friendly. It’d take training, weeks and months of it, to even be able to send emotions and stuff. And, Rose I’d have to go back in your head. You aren’t naturally a telepath, but I could, if you’re absolutely, completely sure, I could use my own abilities to sort of enhance yours. But that would mean…” He drifted off, this was the part he’d been desperate to avoid.

“What? What would it mean?”

“It’d mean, see with Time Lords, well.” He huffed a little, and rubbed the back of his neck. He started over. “Time Lords, and all Gallifreyans really, but Time Lords more than most. We’re touch telepaths. We can enter people’s minds when we touch them. But it’s only supposed to be done in real special cases. When we’re with someone really important to us.” He paused, and then twisted the rules a little bit, “Or when we’re saving the day. Like I did with you, that’s why it was okay. But there’s lots of rules, about who you can talk to, and when. And if I were to use my telepathy to enable your own, it would mean a kind of, um, bond? Like a connection between us, since you would need my help to use it. Like your bond with the Tardis when she translates for you. I know you hated that when it started, and I don’t want to put you through something like that with me.” Except it wasn’t, it wasn’t at all like the bond with Tardis. It meant so much more to his people, and to him. Oh, this was all going to come back and bite him so quickly.

Still, Rose didn’t look like she was changing her mind. “Doctor, I only didn’t like it because you didn’t even ask permission. But in this case, I’m askin’ yours. I want to be able to to talk to the Tardis properly, and to talk to you. Imagine how useful it would be! We could save the day so much better if I could talk to you without makin’ any noise. And, I’m important to you...aren’t I?”

Yes. Yes, she was. This habit of hers, trying to make herself more useful to him, trying to be the best companion possible. She already was, but he didn’t know how to tell her. She was so incredibly important. “Rose, this...I can’t really undo it. And I just, you need to understand that this is really important. This isn’t something to be taken lightly, and it’s not something you can really go around telling people, like I said before.” Oh, was he agreeing to this? Was he letting himself do this? Oh, this was so wrong. So immensely wrong. But, who was there to judge? He was the last one, and it’d been so quiet in his head for so long. There wasn’t anyone left who would understand how intimate this gesture was, and it would make her happy.

“I’ll keep it a secret. Our secret Doctor. And I’ll work really hard and do everything you tell me. No wandering off, or making things difficult for you.” He snorted a little at that. If only she knew how much he actually loved her tenacity, her curiosity, and even her stubbornness. Even though right now all those things were working against him.

He couldn’t keep arguing with her, he’d run out of points that weren’t just him admitting how he felt, and that was _not_ going to happen. Barely believing himself, he whispered, “Okay.”

A glow spread across her face, and her mind was radiant again, warming him up even through their tiny connection now. She faced him properly and crossed her legs, but he shook his head. “You’ll be exhausted after this. We should probably do it-” and she laid down. On his bed. He stared at her for a few seconds. Rose Tyler was laying on his bed. He’d been about to say they should move to her room, or a couch in the library, or anywhere but his bed.

“O-okay.” There it was again. That awful word that made him agree to very stupid things. He should tell her to get up and go to back her room, for that matter he should tell her to forget this whole thing because for god’s sake this was like getting _married_. According to Time Lord tradition he was effectively marrying Rose Tyler. Secretly, without her understanding what he was doing in its entirety. “Rose. I don’t think I can do this.”

“I trust you, Doctor. And I promise, I understand. This is something really special, isn’t it?” She was still laying down, looking up at him. She rested a soft hand on his arm and tugged him down to lay next to her. “I would really like to do this, Doctor. It sounds like something important, and I understand if you don’t want to, but I’m aware of what this means.” And it honestly sounded like she did. And she was still giving him permission.

Trembling slightly, he placed only one set of his fingers on her head, and reached for her hand with his free one. They’d been holding hands since the beginning, and it steadied him. It took less than a moment to enter her mind. Not only because he’d left himself a space to get through, but because it was almost like she was pulling him there.

It was so bright. The chill that he nearly always felt was washed away. He could sense her trying to send him feelings in waves of warmth. Gratitude, and understanding, and safety, and reassurance. And now he didn’t care about why he shouldn’t. How could he give up even a moment of this just because he was scared of losing her later, or of the judgement of others? It wasn’t like she was an unwilling participant. She was just as enthusiastic, he could literally feel it, her excitement and eagerness bubbling up inside him and now he was laughing.

He had to expand the doorway he’d made for himself, and in doing so he let her in more. Small ripples, not just tendrils of emotion were crashing onto his mind, like the last bit of a wave on a beach. He was so warm. So comfortable. He nearly forgot what he was there to do, and when he remember he sent a renewed burst of happy to Rose, nearly crying when she bounced it right back. For a mental connection, this was faint, he could only imagine what he could have with her after a few years, if she practiced a lot. But even now, it had been so long since he’d felt anyone’s presence except for the Tardis that he was in ecstasy.

Though the Time Lords never entered each others minds, they were always bumping together in large groups. You could always tell when one was near, or had been near recently. It was never quiet in his head, not until the war finally ended. It had been silent for so long now that Rose's eagerness that burst through left a lump in his throat. If he didn’t hurry up he would fall apart, and he didn’t want Rose to see that. He found the place he could best anchor to, and began to weave a small web of himself. Just enough to let her process the Tardis’ emotions. She'd be able to sense his own by default. It was tiny in comparison to what it should be, but he couldn’t do any more. She was only human, and this gift she was giving him was already enough to keep him going for lifetimes, on the memory of this night alone.

He never, ever wanted to leave, but he had to. He could feel Rose’s mind tiring; it was too much for her right now. So he retreated, and waited for the chill to return. But it didn’t. She was keeping him warm, even now. As he removed his hand from her head, he couldn’t help breathing reverently, “ _Rose, thank you.”_

She was asleep, had fallen asleep before he’d managed to properly de-tangle himself from her. She still held his hand as tight as ever, and though the beautiful warmth she’d given him had created a slight problem below his belt, he couldn’t find it in him to move. Reaching down to pull the blanket up over them, he watched her until his own exhaustion caught up with him.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter, but that's only because we're getting to the end of Nine. I promise I'll make it as painless as possible. XD
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

When he woke up, far before her, he had to work up a lot of energy to move. She’d shifted to face away from him, and of course he’d moved to cuddle her in his sleep. He wasn’t even surprised. What did surprise him was a lack of discomfort in his jeans. That, combined with the soft skin of her stomach under his hand left no room for movement. At least, not until he remembered they had another passenger now.

Slipping backward off the bed, he pulled on a clean jumper and his jacket, then left the room. The smell of coffee drew him to the console room where Jack was circling the console itself, sipping from a mug. He must have snooped to find the kitchen. “You sure look bright eyed and bushy tailed, sure you and Rose aren’t a thing?”

“Oi. Shut it, and get that away from my machine. Rose’ll be up soon, and then we’ll be off. Where should we drop you?” He pretended to be snippy with Jack, but he couldn’t deny that he certainly felt good. A tingle was working its way through his body. He was warm and could still feel a hint of Rose’s consciousness from way out here. He wished she’d wake up so she would be near him and he could have more, but he couldn’t bring himself to make her lose sleep.

“Drop me? I dunno, what are my options? I mean, I think I’d prefer somewhere clothes aren’t a requirement, if I’m gonna be stuck there for a while.” He was joking, at least the Doctor thought he was, but Jack was peering around the room with more than a little disappointment.

Oh, damn. He wanted to come with. The Doctor couldn’t blame him of course, and he beamed with pride at his Tardis, welcoming the song of joy he received in return. His mood was so good, he decided to have mercy. “I suppose, if you were able to promise to behave yourself, I could see about giving you a trip. Just one, mind you. Just to thank you for, uh, catching Rose.” Jack was clearly fighting to keep a straight face, and he tried to hide it in his coffee mug but ended up burning his tongue and spilling some down his front.

Hissing a little in pain, Jack looked up at him, “Any chance you’ve got a spare shirt?” The Doctor just sighed and directed him to the wardrobe, after requesting the Tardis move it three halls down. He hoped Jack wouldn’t appear in some outrageous costume.

Tinkering with a couple wires under the panel kept him busy until he heard footsteps, “Took you long enough, you’d better be fully dressed.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” The Doctor jerked his head up and stared at Rose. She was wearing fresh clothing, and had even showered. Her hair was in a couple braids down the back of her head and she looked so... _cute._

He grinned cheekily and got up to go to her. “Was expecting Jack. Waddya say we give him a trip? He looked a bit like a lost puppy when I suggested dropping him off. Think he could do with a couple good influences on him.” She smelled good, her own scent much stronger without soot and dust in her hair. And now that she was close to him, her mind was humming to him, that same song he now realized he’d accidentally sent over to her. She really hadn’t heard the Tardis that night, just him.

He hugged her on impulse, and pressed his forehead to hers, leaning into her mind just a little bit, because he could feel her giving him permission, because it felt nice. “How do you feel?” he asked, rubbing a hand up and down her arm. She had goosebumps, probably from the chill of the Tardis, and he made a mental note to raise the thermostat a little.

“Good. The Tardis woke me up, sent me some pictures even, Jack and a coffee stain. You didn’t pour anything on him did you?” She sighed for some reason, then laughed when he sent her the image of Jack spilling on himself. It felt so right, so safe. He wondered if he could kiss her, but quickly dispelled the thought before she could pick up on it. As he puttered around at the front of her mind, just relishing in the comfort she gave him, he heard her speak out loud. “You’re so cold.”

Guilt buzzed and he tried to pull away, but she put her hands on the sides of his head and held him still, “No, I like it.”

“What?”

She sighed again when he stop struggling, “I guess it’s just part of being a stupid ape, but sometimes my head feels so hot I think I’ll melt. When you’re in here it’s like drinking a glass of ice water, or licking a snowcone. It’s so refreshing.”

The Doctor pulled up some extra barriers to block the images that popped up at her mention of _licking_ , but otherwise he stayed still. It made him feel less guilty about how much he liked this, if he knew he was helping her too.

A loud laugh made them jump apart. “Had to speak to the missus I see.” And before the Doctor could protest, Rose crossed her arms and tilted her head in that _I dare you to_ way. He was grateful it wasn’t aimed at him.

“Course he did, I live here too. And you’d best remember that if you’re going to be traveling with us.” He could feel her slight annoyance turn to excitement, and grinned at Jack, who laughed again and rushed to pick Rose up, swinging her around.

And then they went forward, traveling to the 35th century New New Roman Republic, which was honestly exactly like the original, but with better plumbing. After that they took a little trip to see the banana grove the Doctor had inspired.

It was almost like nothing had changed. Rose still held his hand, and they still hugged after their escapes. But now they also hugged when Rose pronounced the names of foreign dignitaries right, and when they landed on the right date for once, and whenever they got excited. Jack stopped teasing when he realized his reward was getting hugged also, by both of them, simply because Rose’s good moods were now literally infectious for the Doctor.

He tried not to let her get to him. All the hugging and extra touching was doing a number on his senses. Her skin always felt hot, even when he was sure she was fine, and she looked more glowy than before. Maybe he was just falling further for her, because she was gorgeous now. She’d always been beautiful, but now when he saw her head into the console room, or sidle up to the island in the kitchen she took his breath away.

Her telepathy was slowly growing. From the beginning he’d been able to send her words, but he felt that it was unfair to talk to her when she couldn’t talk back, so he reserved it for emergencies. The rest of the time they stuck to just emotions and images. Rose couldn’t send him anything concrete without them touching foreheads, but he was happy to oblige.

When they went back to get Rose’s passport, the Doctor was less than happy. He couldn’t figure out how to explain why, but she sensed he was upset anyway. Unsure of what was causing his distress, Rose sent him reassurance after reassurance, verbal and mental. And once she learned how, she pressed her forehead to his whenever he started frowning just to sent him a quick wave of pure goodness. He started frowning even when he wasn’t unhappy just to get another hit of her. Everything was fine until she left the Tardis with Mickey. The distances were skewed from his bigger on the inside ship, and he couldn’t feel her once she left, but she’d sent him a massive wave of warmth right before she’d stepped out the door, and he let himself ride it out until she returned.

Seeing her in the grasp of Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen nearly sent him careening over the edge. But even then, when her neck could be broken at any second, she was sending him her trust. It was the Tardis that saved her, not him, and he let Jack take care of her while he found Blon’s egg. Later he would hug her and send apologies to her until she nearly slapped him with reminders that she was okay, and it wasn’t his fault. Then he’d hug her more, and wish he could ask her to stay the night with him, something they hadn’t done since that first time. But he was a coward, and he didn’t.


	5. A Bit Inbetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda funny, having an inbetween bit be almost as long as the chapter before it. Hope you guys don't mind! I think I've decided that if any higher rated situations come up, they'll be in these kinds of chapters. I don't wanna take away from the story, but I can't keep my hands still. XD
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

Rose became much more comfortable around the Tardis. He couldn’t tell if it was just her settling in, or, and the Doctor tried very hard not to dwell on the possibility, she wanted to impress Jack. Either way, he secretly enjoyed it immensely.

It made happiness thrum through him to see her leaving her jackets hanging on the coral near the door, ready to be snatched up at a moments notice. When one of her blankets became a permanent addition to the library’s couch, and when she started pulling out a mug for him each morning so they could drink their tea together and wait for Jack to get his sorry arse out of bed, he did his best to hide the pride that rumbled in him. Rose liked being here, in the Doctor’s home. It hadn’t quite kicked in before, but Rose _lived_ with him.

Technically they both lived with Jack too, but he wasn’t a totally awful addition to their home. He was a great cook, and much funnier when he wasn’t trying to get into bed with one of them, though sometimes he’d tried both of them, to the Doctor’s dismay. He never teased them anymore, at least not viciously. Whenever he saw them communicating, head to head, he would find somewhere quiet to sit and wait for them to return to the real world.

Rose’s comfort had more problematic consequences, at least for the Doctor. She’d always loved swimming in the pool, and sometimes she would convince him to join her, even if he just sat with his legs in the water and read a book while she did laps or played pool volleyball with the shapeless holograms the Doctor had programmed for her. But now, sometimes she’d disappear to the pool room and leave a note on the door, “Skinnydipping-Jack STAY OUT”

It both pleased and confused the Doctor that his name wasn’t also on the sign. On the one hand, it was nice that Rose trusted him not to go blundering in while she was trying to enjoy herself. But on the other, was she so numb to his presence that she didn’t care if he saw her naked? She perpetuated the latter theory by limiting the clothing she wore on their days off tremendously. When she’d first come onboard he would see her in sweats, maybe an old jumper branded with the name of her secondary school, her hair up in a messy bun as she binged some Earth television show in the media room or listened to music as she doodled, indulging her artistic hobbies by trying to portray some of the places and creatures they’d seen together.

She still did those things, but not in the same outfits. Now their offdays were marked by thin camisoles, and a wide variety of shorts or leggings that showed off her very curvy figure. She also appeared to be working through the rather alarming supply of bras that she now owned. Each one was starkly visible under her shirts, and he’d developed an affinity for a deep purple lace one that he thought made her skin glow even more than usual. Not that he spent much time looking, of course. He was torn between how nice it was that Rose seemed more happy in her own skin than when he’d first met her, no more baggy jackets and jeans that made her look younger than she was and hid her away from him, and how hard it was to keep his body in check.

He liked when she made him warm, but that clothing made him _hot._  She brushed against him and leaned over him without a single care, and he could only be grateful she didn’t hear his sharp inhales when he got a peek of what was under the bra of the day. Jack received almost the same attention, but when she caught his smirks he received a smack to the back of the head that kept his eyes on the ground. It was nigh impossible to keep inappropriate thoughts out of his head, however many mathematical equations equations he ran through. The day she’d slipped while sitting on the arm of the couch next to him, and landed in his lap, he’d had to escape to his room after his equations had turned to him measuring the slope of her neck for the brief moment she lay on top of him and the curve of her bottom against his crotch.

He’d taken a very cold, very long shower, and had almost completely rewritten the computer program used to send humans to space for the first time, using only their primitive understandings of physics before he calmed down enough to rejoin his companions.

The strangest part of it was that Jack never mentioned it. Besides the smirks, which the Doctor didn’t even see pointed at Rose’s body, only ever her face, Jack had no reaction to Rose’s lack of clothing. He never joked about her, never teased her, never propositioned her any more than usual, and if anything they spent more time together. He’d caught them whispering together a couple times, and he’d be worried they were sleeping together if he couldn’t feel Rose’s mind in her bedroom alone each night.

Still, he could never bring himself to complain. Rose didn’t mean anything by it, and he just wanted her to be happy and comfortable in _their home._  Besides, if the sight of so much bare skin drove him a little wild, well it wasn’t much worse than he already was. He’d been keeping his hands to himself since she’d stepped on board, and he would continue to as long as he needed to keep Rose close to him.


	6. Chapter 4-Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, there are a lot of reference and mentions of things that happen in "The Christmas Invasion" so I'd just like to remind everyone of the obvious. All quotes and names related to Doctor Who are Not mine, I'm just borrowing them for a love story.  
> Also, you'll find that when it's mentioned that Rose holds her head, if you go to that exact part of the episode, there is a split second where you can actually see her doing so. Coincidence? I think not!  
> As always, this story is unbeta'd and my editing is usually a little skewed by my imagination, so all mistakes are entirely my fault.  
> I've broken this chapter into two parts, because it goes into detail over the entire episode, and that takes a ton of time and space, so this was just far too long to post as one chapter.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

Then the Bad Wolf came.

He’d sent her away, after being so scared when her consciousness disappeared in the game room, he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her by his own hands. Again, her mind was gone from his and he felt cold for the first time in ages. It was painful, but he comforted himself with the knowledge that she was going to be alright. She would be safe. He waited out his death, listening to to Jack say goodbye, nearly wiping out the population of the Earth. As the Daleks screamed their war cry, he waited, and then he heard it. His Tardis whirring and materializing behind him, and singing, singing so loud and so brilliant he never wanted it to end.

Rose stepped out of the Tardis and he was awash in the flame of her mind combined with the heart and soul of the Tardis. She could see, everything he’d told her when they first met, she could see it. All the directions time could go and had gone. And it was killing her.

He knew what to do, and knowing he was about to die, he finally kissed his Rose. However much the Bad Wolf had taken over her mind, Rose’s golden soothing fire was still pouring out of her. Bathed in it, he pulled the Vortex from her, and sent it back into the Tardis’ heart. It was still too much for his body to handle, but he was okay now. Rose was safe, and she was with him, that was all that mattered.

She woke up on the grating and rubbed her head, and he wished so much he could touch their foreheads and send her his gratitude and all the things he’d forgotten to say in this body, he wanted to explain what was happening so she wouldn’t be scared. But the regeneration was already beginning and if he touched her, he would hurt her. He tried though, sent her as much information as he could through their limited connection, made only worse by how out of it Rose was.

She didn’t wake up properly until just before he was leaving, but he felt it, the tidal wave of worry she sent his way. She cared about him now, but what about in a few seconds? As the energy swept over him, all he could think about was her, was being someone she would like, would still want. Someone who could give her what he’d been too afraid to.

And he disappeared, then reappeared. New body, new thoughts, new plans and ideas and-oh, new teeth. “Where were we? Oh that’s right, Barcelona.” And he grinned at her.

_Doctor?_

The grin slid off his face. For a moment it’d sounded like...but no, of course not.

A wave of heat shook him, and frantically, he tried to send them to Rose’s home. He was still full of energy, his head wasn’t working yet, and he knew he needed to sleep, to vent the excess. He couldn’t leave Rose alone with him on the Tardis, but he’d only entered the co-ordinates before all his focus had to be on staying upright. Rose took over for him, the first time in a while she’d had to do it by herself, and the ride was a little bumpier than usual, but he leaned against the door and breathed heavily until they landed.

Today was an important day, but he couldn’t remember why. So many stray thoughts running around his head, so many of them about Rose. Rose, Rose, RoseRoseRose, Rose. A spinning in his head of her name and her scent and her smile, and he kept probing the spot in his mind where she was. It was still there, he’d expected that, but it was also so strong. So much stronger than it should have been. Something had amplified Rose’s telepathic abilities and therefore their bond hugely. And she looked none the worse for wear. She should have been as out of it as he was.

Oh right, important day. He pushed out the door and latched onto Jackie and Mickey, how nice to see them, and oh it was on the tip of his tongue, come on, come on. Oh!

“Merry Christmas!”

As he sank into unconsciousness the Doctor’s last decent thought was to project a promise to Rose, that he would be okay.

He was too far gone after that to register anything she tried to send him, but he knew she was trying to wake him up. _Not yet, not ready_ he sent, hoping it would make it through his coma. Things went quiet again, and he felt nearly peaceful. He just needed a few more hours to process and then he’d be good to go. He was so excited to see Rose properly through these new eyes.

  
But she was pushing again, more firmly this time, more frantic. He tried not to let her in; it could irreversibly damage her mind to go digging around during his regeneration cycle. Finally two words forced their way through, full of fear. “Help me.”

The Doctor sat bolt upright and gripped the object he felt in his hand, instinctively pointing it at the danger and exploding it instantly. She’d gotten him his sonic screwdriver, how sweet. Rose was always so sweet, no, wait. Important things here. Someone or something had tried to hurt her, and had used a Christmas tree to do it. “Remote control, but who’s controlling it?”

They’d have to be near, that was only a short range control, remarkably simple actually, like a child’s toy. Well, a deadly child’s toy. Well, a deadly child’s toy that was the chosen form of assassination by more than a few species.

He jumped out of bed, trying not to stumble on weak feet and snatching the robe Rose held out for him. He didn’t have time to say hello properly, to check if she was okay. If someone was after her, he didn’t have much time to help her. He was up far too early, and he didn’t know how long he could stay focused.

Stalking out of the apartment, he stood up against the half-wall and stared down at the threat to Rose. Slowly, he raised his screwdriver. If they could sense his regeneration energy, they could definitely sense his Time Lord technology. It was warning enough that they backed up. As they phased out, he realized that they were not what he needed to worry about. Mickey was laughing next to him. When did he get there?

“What kind of rubbish were they? No offence, but they’re not much cop if a sonic screwdriver’s gonna scare them off.” Oh Mickey, so like him to think things could ever be that simple. Scary thing disappears, everything is back to good, no extra thought put into it, not that he had much extra to begin with. Oh, that was a bit rude.

“Pilot Fish.” He explained.

Rose was next to him, but she was also trying to get in his head. It still wasn’t safe. She’d been so busy pushing at his mind she hadn’t heard him. “What?”

“They were just Pilot Fish.” he repeated, and then a wave of heat and pain hit him. It knocked the breath out of him and he fell backwards against the building. The pain he understood; he was still cooking, he should never have woken up, but with Rose in danger what choice did he have? It was the heat that confused him. Rose had broken through, something she should in no way have been able to do, and rather than her usual warmth she sent pure fire into him. He’d stopped being cold, in this new head of his. Where normally her heat would have simply melted his discomfort and left him dazed with happy, now his body was the one burning. It was so good, but he was worried. How? Why? He couldn’t tell her, but he tried to block her out, pushing back and shoving words at her both vocally and mentally

“You woke me up too soon. I'm still regenerating.” He was barely paying attention to his outward explanation and devoted most of his limited focus to begging Rose, _It’s not safe, get out, it’s not safe! You can’t be here!_ She would get hurt if she stayed in his mind. It took so much effort, with his body fighting him for every mental inch he took from her. He didn’t want her to leave, but she had to. Finally he closed down his walls properly and even shoved a metaphorical blanket at the tiny nudging to muffle anything he could pick up from her. It would only make this harder.

Another wave, this time of just pain sent him shoving to the other side of the hall. He tried to ignore the way Rose was grasping at her head, he hoped he hadn’t hurt her when he kicked her out. Desperately, he grabbed the nearest person, who happened to be Jackie. “I”m having a neural implosion! I need-I need-” But she was rambling, wouldn’t let him get a word in. This woman, did she not understand how little time he had? Finally he gritted his teeth, trying to get past the pain and growling, “I need you to shut up!”

This time the pain was more of a short burst, but that was far from a good sign. As he landed against the wall again he felt a slight relief, enough to notice that Rose was next to him again, and he was so sorry he couldn’t let her in, and he needed to explain to them-hold on. “Why is there an apple in my dressing gown?”

Of course, Jackie had some boyfriend who, what? Got hungry in his sleep? Typical. The pain came again, an even shorter burst, signalling he had only seconds. He grasped for Rose’s hand, without their connection he had to tell her this verbally, and it was so hard to get words out. “The pilot fish mean, there’s something...there’s something…” He _had_ to tell her, “Something’s coming.”

He was gone. His body was hot again, but he knew it wasn’t from Rose because it hurt. He’d set his regeneration quite a way back, and he could only hope Rose would be safe until he could return to her. She wasn’t pushing anymore, and he was grateful. This was hard enough without her fighting him.

Things were quiet, and painful, and this regeneration was a lot less pleasant than he’d been hoping. He’d meant for Rose to be able to relax with her family until he was ready, then he could explain and she would get to spend Christmas with them. It was his gift, his apology for not telling her about this earlier. It’s not like he knew this was going to happen! But of course, he’d put her in danger again, just by being near her.

Would this always be the way of things? He and Rose would get close, and then his mere presence would put her in mortal peril and she’d have to fend for herself because he was so bloody useless? Of course, it would be easier if Rose didn’t insist on being so damn noble all the time. Normally he loved her heart and her morals and empathy, but it terrified him that she would just run into battles and burning houses with no regret. Then they’d get back to the Tardis, and he’d scold because he had been so scared and didn’t she understand she could have _died?_  And she’d just smile and hug him and tell him that it was his own fault, he’d made her too good, and she had to do what he would do.

How he hated that he’d done this to her. It made her so beautiful to him, so important, so precious. But he didn’t want her hurt. He wanted her to hide away with him and always be safe and happy and together. He ached to hug her, to touch her, to run his hands down her arms like she let him when they were communicating. It was the most he got to touch her besides when they held hands. It’d been way too long since he’d held her hand.

Would she still want to? He didn’t feel much different, but for all he knew his new body repulsed her. Maybe she wouldn’t want to hug him, maybe she would ask him to permanently put up his walls, so she didn’t have to be connected to him anymore. Maybe she would leave. No, please let her stay, please. He was only in this body for her, and he could feel how attuned it was to what she wanted, on the inside at least. He didn’t feel so cold, and Rose was a song that he couldn’t get out of his mind and that he would never want to lose, and _please let her stay_.

He was lost in his thoughts. Trapped in his mind, full of worry and fear and desperate to see her. He just wanted to see her smile, to hug her, to hold her, to kiss her. He thought maybe in this body, maybe he’d find the courage to do it. He needed her, needed to hear her say she still wanted him.

Something was fizzling in his head, and for a moment he worried she was pushing again. However much he wanted to feel her, wanted to let her brush away his pain, he needed her safe. He’d lost count, lost his sense of how ready he was, of how long it would be until he could get up and help her. It horrified him, but soon the fizzling returned. It wasn’t Rose, it was something else. Something that was turning his higher functions back on and helping him properly release more energy. Tannin, free radicals? Oh, bloody finally, someone must’ve figured it out! No, they were humans, no way they could’ve known. Probably Jackie, trying to make someone feel better. Her solution to everything, nothing it couldn’t fix, even a broken Time Lord.

Tea!

Oh he felt better already. The Doctor felt like he was floating up from some dark space, and soon he could move his fingers, then his toes, his hands and feet, and finally, his brain ready to process all the right information, his eyes opened. Jumping to his feet he took stock. In the Tardis, not on Earth. Rose was nearby. He could feel her, terrified, and...oh. Hopeless. She’d decided he was gone, no faith. Hadn’t she heard him explain before he regenerated?

But he got to see her again, right outside those doors. The Tardis was whirring excitedly, greeting him and reestablishing their connection in an instant. Slowly, he reached for the doors. Might as well make a grand entrance. He opened both of them at once, his brain on high alert.

It took milliseconds for him to process what was in front of him. Firstly, and most important, Rose. She was smiling, oh how he loved that smile. The fear she’d been projecting faded, and now all that was left was excitement and a little uncertainty. She still didn’t think he was himself. It hurt, but he couldn’t blame her. She’d changed clothes, into another one of those hooded jackets she liked so much, the one she’d accidently left at her mum’s the last time they’d visited. He’d offered to get her a replica, but she’d told him not to bother. Even his memories of her were altered a little, focused more on her, though he hadn’t realized that was possible, and the backgrounds were all fuzzy. She was all that mattered.

But now for the rest. Mickey, Harriet Jones, and a smaller man, holding what looked like a translation device. Clever boy. And there, the ones who needed the translation. He recognized them. The Sycorax, belonging to the Nedine Confederacy. Outcasts, for the most part. Clearly looking to build up their reputation by taking over Earth. Their leader was unmasked, and the Doctor took in an electric whip in one hand, and a blocky, decorative staff in the other. How primitive, those whips were banned in most civilized galaxies, and that staff, while very well matched to his outfit, was just an excuse to be cruel.

Raring to go, the Doctor gave a small smile to Rose, “Did you miss me?” It was as he expected. Instantly the whip was thrown, and it was a small matter to pull it away from the general, electricity that would incinerate a human merely tickled him. He moved forward and caught the jagged staff as it rose against him, snapping it on his knee. “Just can’t get the staff. Now you, just wait! I’m busy.” He’d disabled the general well enough that he was sure to be obeyed at least for a little bit, but he pointed warningly just in case before turning his attention away.

“Mickey, hello!” He had to admit, Mickey always did manage to pop up in interesting places. “And Harriet Jones, NP for Flydale North! Blimey, it’s like ‘This Is Your Life’!” She must’ve been Prime Minister now. Why was everyone looking at him so strangely? Oh, they were confused. He grinned and turned to Rose, “Tea! That’s all I needed, a good cup of tea!” He explained the reasoning, but could feel the Tardis trying to simplify and shorten it dramatically. Fine then, he’d change the subject.

Leaning conspiratorially toward Rose, partly in the hope that she’d lean closer too, he said quietly, “Now, first things first, be honest.” _Are you okay?_ He tried to send her his worry, but the walls he’d put up were still stuck and it’d take a good moment of concentration to remove them, a moment he didn’t have right now. “How do I look?” He had to rely on her facial expressions, and he felt a new appreciation for them. Even without their connection she was still so open. Her gaze flicked down him and he didn’t see anything that irked her.

“Different.” That wasn’t helpful, though he supposed she might be stuck on that for a bit.

He lowered his voice just a tad more, “Good different, or bad different?” But she still wasn’t budging from ‘Just different.’ Well, at least she wasn’t hiding her eyes. Good sign, that.


	7. Chapter 4-Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the other half of the chapter. Unlike Rose, I have no patience. Well I guess it's good for you! Now I have to scramble to write more. Not that I'm complaining because I am Loving this.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments, they mean the world to me. Also, this is unbeta'd, like everything I write, so all mistakes are mine. Enjoy!
> 
> P.S. I don't own Doctor Who, or any of its affiliates or any of the quotes that I'm borrowing, please forgive me.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

After learning he wasn’t ginger, he found himself a bit cranky, whining one moment and then finding his hand pointed accusingly at Rose. “And you! Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were, you gave up on me!” Had he just said that? “Oh, that was rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger?”

And there was Harriet Jones, asking questions. He was grateful, though he would eventually get tired of explaining. He always did. But he wanted to confirm it, for Rose’s sake, while he was conscious and thinking clearly. He was the Doctor, same man, same past, different body. If only she could see it. Just as he was starting a nice little catch up with Harriet, a gravelly voiced sounded behind him.  
“If I might interrupt.” Oh right. He was here for a reason. This bloody general had not only threatened Rose, but the entirety of Earth. Best to stay calm though.

Who was he, well how should he know? He began listing off questions, was he funny? Sarcastic? Instinctively he looked over at Rose and clicked his tongue, “Sexy?” She grinned and looked away, and was that a yes?

As he rambled, he moved forward, spinning lazily in a circle and scanning the room. What was that? A button. Oooh, a button. Running up to it, he kept up his rant. This ranting thing, was that gonna stick around because he wasn’t sure he’d have enough time for that. Though it might come in handy if he needed to stall for time, and oh look, he did it in his head too.

Anyway, this button, control matrix? Fed by blood? Yup, A Positive blood, dash of iron, and why had he put that in his mouth? Eh, it got the job done. Oh! Blood control!

Truly, these were much older versions of the Sycorax than he’d ever dealt with before. Blood control was about as obsolete as using actual microwaves in microwave ovens. Oh he wanted to press that button, and with all he knew about blood control, it was perfectly safe. Time to release the planet!

Everyone screamed not to, and oh Rose, have a little faith would you? It’s just a cheap bit of voodoo, didn’t she see it wasn’t going to do any harm? _See Rose, I just saved them all, aren’t you proud_? This body was useful, he could talk so fast, he was actually able to explain what was going on without feeling like he was wasting time. And once asking nicely didn’t work, best chance of dealing with a group like this was combat. He snatched up a nearby sword and dashed to the open space in front of the Tardis. “I challenge you!”

The crowds above that had been mostly silent now screamed with laughter. “Ooh, that struck a chord.” He hoped this would work. It’d been far too long since he’d practiced his swordfighting, and he’d been in a different body to boot. This one might be rubbish at fighting, or it might be legendary. It was certainly strong, or at least as strong as his last one. The handle of the sword was clunky, once again made mostly for show, but it would get the job done.

The first collision of their swords sent him flying backward and he nearly landed on his arse. So, not a swordfighting genius then. As he regained his balance, he looked over at Rose. She nodded to him, but it wasn’t _his_ nod. The one she gave him in dire situations that said everything would be alright and she believed in him. That settled it then, he’d give her something to believe.

As they fought he struggled to come to terms with the new body. He was so bouncy, jumping this way and that, and he wavered slightly on his left foot. Rose shouted for him to look out, and really, you’d think he was trying to do this with his eyes closed going by her reactions. The thought was there though, even if it was just out of concern for the planet, she didn’t want him to die. The general wasn’t afraid to slam into him, and it would’ve taken his breath away if he were human.

But he was quick, and he realized they needed much more than this limited space. The general made wide sweeps with his sword that, while clumsy, were dangerous to the observing humans. The last thing he needed was someone getting hurt or accidentally interrupting the challenge. Backing up to a tunnel, he slammed a glowy button on the wall and raced through the exit that opened.

Fresh air, it was as he’d assumed, they were just inside Earth’s atmosphere. This was much better, lots of space to move around. The general’s hits came hard and fast now, he was starting to lose his temper. This should have been a good thing, and the Doctor was gaining more control with each attack, but then his elbow came and bashed him in the nose. Logically he knew that wasn’t considered cheating, but the Doctor thought it was still pretty low.

Rose jerked forward to help him as he held his nose, but he threw up a hand, “Stay back! Invalidate the challenge and he wins the planet!”

This only seemed to enrage the general, as though that was his plan all along, to infuriate one of the humans into interrupting them so he wouldn’t have to finish the fight. Coward. As the general turned back toward him, the Doctor ran forward with the best war cry his new voice could managed, and this time they held nothing back. They were smashing the swords together so loudly, the Doctor worried he’d go deaf, and then with a twist, his sword was pointed to the ground and the general knocked him down. His head was dangling off the edge of the ship, and he didn’t have time to move before a sharp pain hit his right arm and he watched his hand and sword fall down to the Earth’s surface.

“You cut my hand off.” The general was cheering the name of his species, but this battle was far from over, because, as the Doctor stood up, he could already feel the tingling. He still hadn’t completely finished his regeneration cycle, this was just a setback, a perfect way to release that last bit of energy. He grew a new hand, and as it sprouted from his wrist, he concentrated on making it useful. A fighting hand.

“Witchcraft.” the general cursed.

“Time Lord.” he replied.

And Rose called out, “Doctor.” His hearts sang, even as he caught the sword she’d thrown his way with his new hand. She’d called him Doctor. She knew it was him.

As their battle resumed, there was a notable change. The Doctor easily defended against the general’s attacks, and pushed him back farther and farther. Just as he ripped the sword from his enemy’s hands, he felt something inside him go very, very cold. He rammed the hilt into the general’s stomach and sent him tumbling onto his back, in the very same position the Doctor had been in mere moments before. Pressing the tip of his blade to the general’s throat, he growled. “I win.”

He had never felt this urge before, this desperate urge begging him to kill the general. To finish this and ensure the safety of his precious humans. But he couldn’t, that’s not who he was. So he made him swear, he made the coward swear on the blood of his species to leave Earth forever. And when he gurgled out his promise, the urge was gone.

Feeling a little lightheaded, probably just from properly finishing his regeneration, the Doctor stuck the frankly too big sword into the ground. “There we are then. Thanks for that. Cheers, big fella.”

Harriet cheered, and then there was his Rose, running to him with the robe he’d forgotten removing. She helped him into it and she was smiling, and oh things were looking better already. Just to prolong the moment, he dug in his pocket for the satsuma he’d found earlier and made a big show of it. Anything to make her happy.

They were walking to the doorway when he heard the war cry. Oh, what a coward. That was one thing he knew this new body couldn’t be. Without a thought he chucked the satsuma against a button to release the platform underneath the general and tried not to listen as the Sycorax’s screams faded.

“No second chances. I’m that sort of a man.”

They sent him and the others back down to Earth, and together they watched the ship scramble to escape the atmosphere. As Rose and Mickey celebrated, he wandered over to Harriet. He tried to explain, humans were getting just what they wanted. They’d been trying for so long to get the attention of the rest of the universe, and now it was happening. They needed to be ready to join the rest of the galaxy, they needed ambassadors and peace plans and they should get started right away.

Suddenly he heard none other than Jackie Tyler running down the street. His saviour, even if it was accidental. He wanted to hug her-a surprise he filed away to deal with later-so he did. Jackie Tyler, willingly hugging the Doctor, and vice versa. He’d never live it down. He almost didn’t want to.

Everything was warm and happy, and while he couldn’t get his shields down, that little tiny opening he’d never be able to close was still sending him tendrils of happy. He’d missed Rose so-what the hell was that?

Green lasers were shooting upwards all around them, combining into one ray of energy that blasted the Sycorax out of space. She hadn’t. Oh, say she hadn’t. But the look on Harriet Jones, Prime Minister’s face said it all. Humans could be so disgusting.

He felt cold again, but he didn’t care. They were leaving, they were leaving in peace and everything was fixed and how stupid was she? If humans didn’t want aliens to know about them why didn’t they just turn off all their stupid probes and devices and stay quiet until they could learn to coexist with the rest of the universe? She’d just committed mass murder, and there was no regret in her eyes. In what way had she saved anyone? All the confederacies would think now is how violent, how incapable the humans were, how useless a species!

The Doctor had to stop her, because that’s what he did. These people had a chance, and she was going to ruin it for them. She was far too high, and if she stopped the humans from reaching their potential then she was a threat, and he didn’t allow threats to Earth. He wanted her to suffer, to stew in her mistake and watch her world come crumbling down. And all it would take, was six words.

Stepping over to the translator, he pulled the bluetooth device from his ear and leaned in. “Don’t you think she looks tired?”

And he left. The humans he knew he could trust followed him, and he felt a little bit of hope at their footsteps beside his. Maybe they weren’t useless, if people like Rose, and Jackie Tyler, and Mickey Smith existed. Maybe they still had a chance.

They got all the way back to the flat before he realized he was still in the pajamas Jackie’d lent him. That wouldn’t do. Jackie and Rose were bustling about in the kitchen, ordering Mickey to peel some potatoes. He swept up the mess in the spare room before popping his head into the kitchen to get Rose’s attention. “I’ll be right back, I’m just going to change.” She pointed at the pile of clothing that’d been folded and stacked on a chair, with his leather jacket on top, but he shook his head. “New Doctor, new clothing.”

If he was honest, he was running away, only a bit. After they’d gotten back, he properly removed the barriers he’d put up, only to find Rose’s mind impenetrable. Somehow she’d put up her own walls, and she was shutting him out. He didn’t know what to do about it, and there was no chance they’d be alone so he could ask her, so he hid for a while. He went back to the Tardis and moved it to the road outside the flat, and then he went hunting for something that would fit his new frame.

A suit, a proper suit, so Rose could never claim he was underdressed again. As he looked in the mirror for the first time, he examined himself. Pretty decent jaw, no more of those massive ears, and his hair was so, ruffly. He couldn’t stop playing with it. Wait, was he pretty? Oh no, he was! He’d become one of those pretty boys he’d disliked so much because they made Rose go all doe-eyed, and-oh. Well, that actually made sense. Nevermind then, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

When he arrived back in the flat and closed the door behind him, Rose smiled at him. And it was _his_ smile. The prideful one, that said _I knew you could do it, and you did. Come get your prize._ Normally that prize was one of her glorious hugs, but this time it was a little different. This time it was sitting around the dinner table, eating food that wasn’t half bad even with Jackie’s cooking issues, laughing and popping crackers. It was domestic. He’d always hated domestic, but being domestic with Rose had never been bad, nor with Jack. As long as he was with his family it was okay. And he guessed maybe he was. Mickey and he would never be very close, but they still held a decent amount of respect for each other. And Jackie, she was being nice. He’d never thought he’d live to see the day when Jackie Tyler offered to refill his cup of tea and gave him an extra serving of pudding. She’d muttered under her breath about him being too skinny, but he still saw kindness in her eyes. He had a family.

It was all so nice, he nearly forgot about Rose not letting him in. Nearly. Every once in a while he couldn’t help knocking, just tapping a little, hoping she’d take down her walls and talk to him. He was just about to do it again when Rose pointed at the television, “Look, it’s Harriet Jones.”

It was. The Doctor stood and pulled a pair of glasses he’d found in the wardrobe from his pocket, slipping them on his face. His eyes weren’t bad by any means, to be honest they were far advanced from human eyes, but by Time Lord standards, they were just a bit tired. Where he could normally read a book just by flicking through the pages, now he felt a little slow. The glasses helped, and he watched the Prime Minister try to fight her way through the voices of reporters asking her about her health.

Distantly he heard the phone ring, and Jackie appeared from the kitchen, telling everyone to go outside. He knew what was coming, but he followed them anyway.

Outside the world was white, and he watched bits of the Sycorax spaceship burn across the sky while humans played in the ashes. Rose thought it was beautiful, and he thought he might like that about humans. That they could find the beauty in almost any situation. Hopefully they would be able to find enough beauty to keep themselves peaceful in this new world, a world where the existence of aliens was fact.

Rose asked him what he was going to do, and he balked. What did she want him to do? He looked back at the Tardis, confused, “Well, back to the Tardis. Same old life.”

“On your own?” This was it, please, please don’t let her mean what he thought it meant.

“Why? Don’t you want to come?” He was nervous, and he could tell how vulnerable his voice came out, but he didn’t care. He needed to know if she didn’t want to be with him.

She said yes, but he was still too scared. “Do you though?”

“Yeah!”

He shrugged, trying not to show her how terrified he’d been. “I just thought, ‘caused I changed.”

But she cut him off, “Yeah, I thought ‘cause you changed, you might not want me anymore.” And her mental walls slid down a bit, enough for her to send him just a few words. _You cut me out._

That she was able to send words to his mind was a miracle, one that both baffled and excited him. They were in front of her mother and Mickey, or he’d have hugged her and whispered a thousand promises to her right there. “Oh, I’d love you to come.” _I’m so sorry, I’ll never do it again._

Her beautiful smile came back, “Okay.” And it was, everything was okay again. Rose wasn’t going to leave. She was coming home with him.

Mickey interrupted, and he watched Rose give those perfect answers. He basked in hearing her talk about how she was going with him, that she couldn’t bear not to. He let himself pretend it was because of him, and not just the things he showed her. When Jackie called them mad, he grinned. And as he went over to her, he honestly believed the things he said about how he wanted to see the universe with his new eyes. He’d never been happy to regenerate, and he knew that if he’d had a choice, he wouldn’t have become this man. But he had to make the best of it, and that meant being with Rose. He crossed back to his whole world, and smiled down at her.

“And it is gonna be, _fantastic_.” He held his hand out to her, and merely wiggled his fingers when she looked a bit squeamish. She took his hand, and however nice it had been in his old body, now it felt so right he promised himself he would never let go. She sidled closer to him and asked where they would go next, so he leaned in close, because he knew now she’d let him, and he pointed the way. He could only stand to look at the sky for a moment before his eyes drifted back to her. Watching her as she pictured the worlds he would take her to made his hearts beat fast and he lost himself in her.

They watched the stars and made plans to spend this new life together, as they should be.


	8. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another short one, though I'm sure you'll forgive me once you read what's coming next. *eyebrow waggle*
> 
> This work is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of the story so far in the comments.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

The Doctor’s beautiful mood was doomed the moment they stepped into the Tardis. He’d practically skipped up the ramp to the console, and he was rambling, considering all the different places he wanted to take Rose. He’d been thinking Barcelona, but there had to be somewhere better! Rose had done so well today. After dinner Mickey had pulled him aside, and asked if the Doctor was the one who’d taught Rose all that stuff about the Shadow Proclamation. He could hardly believe her, so damned brave. After hearing him use the terms enough times, he shouldn’t have been surprised she would pick up some of it, but she’d really tried to scare off the Sycorax by threatening galactic persecution? Brilliant! Rose was amazing, she was fantastic.

She was sending him death glares from across the room.

He froze, staring at her. She looked so angry, but he wasn’t allowed entrance to her head. How could he make things better? When he tried to talk to her, it came out in a whisper. “Why won’t you let me in?”

He didn’t expect her to explode, but explode she did. Throwing her hands in the air she shouted, “Why d’you think? Whatever could possibly make me not want you in my head at the moment? If anyone would know, it’d be you. I mean, you had no problem kicking me out earlier, did you?” He wanted to respond, but she kept going, reminding him remarkably of her mother.

“D’you know how much that bleedin’ hurt? You didn’t just shut me out, Doctor. You cut me off, you ripped me out of your head and boarded up the walls! And the whole time you were bloody babbling at me! Either this new regeneration of yours has a broken head, or you were just a little too gone because I couldn’t understand any of it! You were just screaming and the only word that made any sense was ‘no’.” She was gasping, and crying, and he ran to her. He counted his blessings when she let him hug her. He stroked her hair and touched his forehead to hers; even if she wouldn’t let him in, he still wanted to be there for her.

He whispered to her, all the apologies he’d thought up while he was in his regenerative coma. “I’m so sorry Rose, I never wanted to make you leave. I was just worried. Having you trying to talk to me, trying to connect with me during my regeneration was dangerous, it would have hurt you, it could have killed you. I was trying to keep you safe.”

Her mind was trembling, cracks appearing in the walls, and he waited patiently. He’d been so awful to her, even if he hadn’t meant to. She was talking, sobbing into his jacket. “Why were you yellin’? Why were you angry at me?”

“No, no, no, no, Rose I wasn’t angry. I promise, I was never angry. I was hurting, and I thought what I’d sent you was clear, and I’m sorry it got so confusing. I was trying to explain this to you, all about the regenerative process, and what you could expect, and I was trying to tell you not to worry.” When her barriers came crashing down he rushed into her thoughts and tried to explain properly this time. He showed her more than he meant to, images of all the people he used to be, tiny glimpses of each time he’d regenerated and how his body had been so weak and confused afterwards.

Throughout this he was nearly holding her upright, she’d receded so far into her mind to watch what he gave her. Soon she returned the favor, sending him all that’d happened while he was gone, the awful Santa faced figures attacking her and Mickey in the street, crying by his bedside. He hadn’t been able to explain, and because of that she thought he was dying. That something had gone wrong and it was her fault.

He couldn’t believe he’d been angry at her when he woke up. Of course Rose wouldn’t have treated him like that if she understood. Rose knew him, and if he’d only explained she would have been fine.

Rose’s legs gave out, and he lifted her up, moving her to the jumpseat and sitting with her in his lap. They hugged and shared, and through all of his guilt and shame and worry, the Doctor thought he was going to visibly glow from the heat Rose was sending him. This was like nothing he’d experienced before. No longer was it just cozy temperatures, now it was a blazing flame that she seemed insistent on using to burn out every last hidden inch of cold in his head. He couldn’t bring himself to raise any but his darkest doors, and the rest of his memories she lay a healing hand on and he felt himself grow lighter by the second.

Holding Rose so close to him was a dream come true, but the heat in him was doing very inappropriate things to his body, and he had to tug her away and settle her next to him, crossing his legs to hide the evidence.

She was dazed, but he needed some answers, so he pushed forward, “Rose, I need to understand how you’re doing all this. You shouldn’t be able to, even now you’re communicating perfectly clearly with me and that’s wrong. How did this happen?”

“It was a gift.” Rose’s voice echoed unnaturally, and a tiny spark of gold lit up her eyes. “A gift from the Tardis. For the Doctor and his Rose.”

Just as quickly the spark was gone, and only her bark brown eyes remained, scrunched up as she smiled softly at him. “I don’t really understand what happened, I just woke up and was able to think. I knew how to protect myself, and how to talk to you. I thought you noticed before you sent the Tardis back to my mum’s, but you didn’t say anything.”

So nothing was wrong. This was okay, and he could enjoy this without fearing for her. He grinned again and pulled her in for another hug. This time it was him that came away dazed, and he realized most of what had been keeping him awake was fear. With that gone, he needed desperately to sleep. “Rose, I’m, I’m going to get some rest, if that’s okay.”

Her eyes pinched a little, and she worried for him, but he just let her peruse his thoughts until he’d made it clear he was okay, just tired. It was so easy, so instinctual, to let Rose in. Like she was always meant to be there. He barely remembered to toss his too-friendly thoughts behind a little door, but she somehow never picked up on the ones he missed.

Suddenly she stood, “I’ll park us in the vortex for the night, that sound alright?” Had he mentioned to her how wonderful it was that she could fly the Tardis? Apparently now he had, because she laughed at him and strutted smugly to the console to start the flight sequence. He’d meant to move, to go to his room, but instead he just reclined on the jumpseat. He felt boneless with happy, and comfort, and exhaustion, so he let his head fall a little and just watched her move. There was no rush, and Rose made a smooth transition to the vortex. Not a single rumble that could make him lose his balance.

She seemed to have realized that he wasn’t going to move unless he had help, so she came over and pulled him to his feet, wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders so he could brace himself on her. He wobbled weakly down to his room with her, even let her sit him on his bed and pull off his two jackets. Once he was mostly defrocked, he fell backwards onto the big fluffy pillow and sighed.

But Rose didn’t leave him. She stood quietly next to the door for a few moments, and he’d almost fallen asleep when he heard her whisper, “Doctor?”

“Yess, Rossee?” he slurred. Thoughts were hard, but words were harder.

He could hear Rose shifting again, though he couldn’t see her because his eyes had fallen closed. When he managed to raise his eyelids he saw that she’d come to stand next to him. “Doctor, do you think, maybe, just to keep an eye on you, I could stay here tonight?”

It should’ve bothered him. He should have jolted awake and stammered out an excuse and he should’ve said no. But instead, he couldn’t find anything wrong with the idea of Rose sleeping next to him, and he patted the space next to him. Vaguely, he wondered how there was suddenly so much extra room on his tiny bed, but the rest of him was busy watching Rose pull off her winter jacket, and then her hooded jacket, and then she took off her shirt. He didn’t even flinch, because he’d noticed the instant he stepped out of the Tardis on the Sycoraxic ship that she was wearing a camisole under her t-shirt.

She was still wearing jeans when she climbed into the space next to the wall, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, and the Doctor just raised his legs onto the bed properly and curled against her back, snuffling quietly into her neck before passing out.

The next night she’d asked again, citing that she still wasn’t sure he was up to snuff yet. He couldn’t think of a good reason to refuse. The night after, he asked her instead, muttering about a headache. She stopped asking after that, and he realized he didn’t need to either. From then on Rose slept in his room, tucked under his arm each night. It was just a new addition to their relationship, and it couldn’t be any more intimate than sharing thoughts, so why would the Doctor complain? He’d never slept better.


	9. A Bit Inbetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go my dearies, you'll have to forgive me as this is literally the first time I've ever written anything that needed a higher rating than Teen. This is set immediately after their first night sharing a bed.
> 
> Unbeta'd: All mistakes are mine
> 
> Rating: Explicit

He arose to an entirely new sensation. It’d taken a few seconds for him to wake up properly, so he nuzzled the warm body in front of him as he waited for his brain to reboot itself. His sense of time came back first, and he realized he’d slept far longer than normal. Almost a full 8 hours. Normally he only needed 5 or 6. At first he thought the regeneration must’ve taken a lot more out of him than normal, but when he twitched his hand as he stretched, he found himself very close to the source of his sleep.

Rose was tucked flush against him, still out cold, and the Doctor was feeling interesting things in interesting places. For one thing, he was hard. Not just a little, like he was used to Rose causing, like she’d done to his last body. He was fully, uncomfortably hard, and his erection was pressed firmly against the curve of Rose’s, thankfully fully jean-clad, arse. What was worse, or better, depending on which corner of the Doctor’s mind got to have the floor moment by moment, was that while one of his arms was tucked under the pillow they were sharing, the other was resting very,  _very_ low on her stomach. In fact, his long fingers had somehow ended up below her waistband, and the pad of his middle finger was reflexively rubbing tiny circles in the curly hair just above where her thighs met.

He tried very hard not to go tense, not to show any signs that he was awake, or at all aware of what he was doing. Excruciatingly slowly, he stopped rubbing his finger against her, and slid his hand out of her pants. He rested it on the safe, soft skin of her stomach while he tried to deal with his other problem. Mathematics wasn’t doing it, even picturing the most repulsive looking aliens he could remember wasn’t helping. If Rose woke up things would get very awkward and he thought he might die from shame, if only so he didn’t have to deal with Jackie’s wrath at him coming onto her daughter.

His fear of Jackie immediately made his trousers much more comfortable, and he felt safe enough to move away without waking Rose with any unwanted rubbing. Though he did still desperately want to do some rubbing. The thoughts that were about to make his trousers hurt again sent him off the edge of the bed and he scrambled into his en suite bathroom. A cold shower would work, maybe some more equations? Reciting literature surely wasn’t going to help; all he could think of were poems about lovers and passion and wow, it didn't take long for him to harden again.

He stripped down and climbed into the shower/tub combo, and wait, hadn’t his bathroom only had a tiny shower stall before? This was definitely different, and now that he thought about it...He got back out of the tub, opened the bathroom door a crack and poked his head out. Rose was still sleeping soundly, in at least a queen sized bed. The thing was massive, and positively lush. What looked like silk sheets, and a massive fuzzy comforter and duvet. The only sign that they were indeed still in the Doctor’s room was that the blankets were still his favourite blue, and the now much bigger dresser was still covered in knicknacks and half built gadgets. Blimey, there was even a fireplace and an overstuffed loveseat. What’d happened to his room?

Confused, and still incredibly aroused, the Doctor closed the door again and got in the shower. Instead of the cold water he’d turned on, steamy, refreshing water poured down on him in soothing jets. This wasn’t going to get rid of his problem anytime soon. He tried to clear his head, and think about why the Tardis would change his room so drastically for this regeneration. Was his new body really so posh he needed a bloody fireplace? He imagined himself relaxing in the chair with a book, a roaring fire warming him up. Soon the book was plucked from his imaginary fingers, and Rose slid onto his lap, clothed only in that purple bra that made this new body’s mouth go dry, matching underwear, and a purple satin dressing gown that hid absolutely nothing. He shuddered, both in and out of his daydream, and one hand went out to the shower wall to brace himself, as the Rose in his mind did unspeakable things to his earlobes.

At the last second, he threw up a rudimentary wall, enough to keep Rose from experiencing _any_ of what was going through his head, lest she be affected by it. And _oh,_ the thought of Rose being affected by his dirty daydreams cinched the deal and he closed his hand around his aching erection. The water was warm, but it made his hand skid down his length. It was by no means unpleasant, but he leaned forward, letting the water run down his back instead and he groaned quietly when his own lubrication made the slide much easier.

This was new. He’d never been so overcome that he’d needed to take care of himself like this. But this new body, its senses were so heightened when it came to Rose, and in his mind she was the one rubbing him and squeezing lightly, and twisting her wrist once in a while. In his mind he finally got to do what he’d probably secretly always been thinking, been wishing for. He got to push the dressing gown down off Rose’s shoulders, and unclasp her bra, and her hands were in his hair as he kissed and licked and bit his way down her neck and over her chest. She tasted like that damned, delicious pranditzy fruit and he swore the next time they were in the right century he was going to buy some of the actual stuff and pull himself off to the the taste of it.

He was gasping, and biting at his mouth to silence his groans, and in a crash of white he came. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d had an orgasm, and without anything to compare it to, it was amazing.

When he finally came down from his high, sleepiness dragged at his bones again. He listlessly washed his body and hair, and when he stumbled out of the steam, a pair of pajama bottoms were folded on the counter. He’d locked the door, which meant the Tardis had done it. Mumbling a thank you, he pulled them on and trudged back to bed. Rose was still there, sending waves of sleepiness to him. Still just as beautiful as ever, and the Doctor sank gratefully into the space behind her, curling around her as much as he could and dropping off in less than a full second.

Rose woke him up the second time, as she shuffled around, trying to disentangle herself from him so she could get up. His sleep soaked mind groaned and he held on tighter, but she giggled and whispered, “I just need to go to the bathroom, Doctor.” Pouting, he released her. It was much less comfortable without her there, and when she finally returned he nearly tackled her down to the sheets so he could reclaim that comfort against his bare chest. She laughed at him again, but settled with him and he drifted away to the sound of her humming that lovely old Gallifreyan song and her hand running through his hair.

The third time, he was up for good. It’d been nearly 14 hours, and he knew the instant his eyes opened that he needed to get up and maybe run a few laps to siphon off some of his restless energy. He poked Rose mercilessly until she smacked his arm and agreed to get up, and then he rushed into the bathroom to change into the now clean suit that awaited him. When he came out, Rose was tugging a brush through her hair. He didn’t recognize it, but she said she’d found it in the drawer of the nightstand, and if the Tardis wanted to provide Rose with a few comforts, who was he to argue?

Apparently his morning, or technically late afternoon at this point, cheeriness was not allowed. Grumbling, Rose sent him scurrying off to the kitchen to make them breakfast. On his way there, he recalled his shower activities and blushed furiously. He hoped that wouldn’t happen again, he felt awful for thinking about Rose that way. To distract himself, he prepared a couple omelettes and even hash browns. He was just stirring a spoonful of sugar into his mug of tea when Rose appeared at the kitchen doorway. She was wrapped tightly in a short, purple, satin dressing gown.

He stopped breathing. Even seeing a pair of sleep shorts peeking out from under the edge, and the decorative top of her white camisole showing at the divot of the gown didn’t keep him from dropping his spoon rather loudly into the tea and throwing up a few walls as he tried to remember how good his species was supposed to be at breathing. She asked him what was wrong, and he produced a very undignified, squeaky, “Nothing.”

That seemed to relax her, but as she climbed onto the high bar stool to eat her breakfast, the Doctor resigned himself to a lot more showers.


	10. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little convoluted. I covered a lot of areas, but I'm still happy with how it turned out. Let me know in the comments how're you're feeling at the end of this!
> 
> Unbeta'd: All mistakes are mine, please forgive me.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

They stayed in the Tardis, floating around the vortex for a week before Rose would let him take her anywhere. By the time she huffed out permission and joined him at the console he was positively _itching_ to move. Being alone with Rose in the Tardis was nothing he hadn’t done before, but he hadn’t done it with a mind so deadset on pleasing her.

It was torture to keep his hands to himself while he waited for Rose to come to terms with him and his new body. She never expressed any dislike of him, but she still stayed a little further apart, hugged a little less than he was used to. So he tried to find the things that were the same between him and his last body to make her more at ease. Working on the Tardis was not only soothing, but necessary, and each time she saw him hiding under the panels to rewire this or calibrate that, he could feel a little bit of fondness ripple through their connection. But he kept messing it up. He preferred to turn on the radio while he was working, instead of providing his own amusement. He drank tea with her in the morning, like usual, but his new body wanted two scoops of sugar instead of just milk, and Rose noticed. She’d laughed about it, but he wanted to do something just like his old self had, so she would see, so she would like him. He read in the library, but found himself drifting over to the classic romances, instead of his usual Charles Dickens or H.P Lovecraft. He joined her in the pool, but couldn’t resist jumping in and doing a few underwater laps, rather than sitting at the edge and reading.

He tried and tried, but he didn’t discover the right thing until very late one night, when Rose wandered out to find him working on the console. The radio was broken, and next on his list of things to fix, or probably tinker with until it was so pulled apart there would be no point in putting it back together. In lieu of any other music, he began to hum to himself. He jumped and nearly smacked his head on the panel he was working on when Rose’s voice joined in with his. Without meaning to, he’d started humming the song they’d danced to after saving London during World War 2. The night they’d picked up Jack for the first time. The night he’d opened up their connection and let her in.

Still humming, he climbed out from his work and stood in front of her. She was wearing a silky, well shaped nightgown that she claimed to have found in his closet, though before this body he hadn’t even had a closet. It clung to her in all the right places, and when she took the hand he held out, he tugged her close against him. She might pull away soon, but at least he could enjoy this while it lasted.

The song was quiet an energetic one, but they slowed it down and he simply turned her in small circles. He accidentally sighed when she rested her head on his shoulder, but it didn’t stop him doing the same and breathing deeply from her neck as they made tiny steps to turn themselves. They hummed together, and shared some memories of that day. They’d already told each other about it ages before, but now they could really experience it. He felt her fear as she hung from the barrage balloon, and soothed it with how pleased he’d been at Nancy’s clever way of keeping the orphans and street kids fed. She even shared her meeting with Jack, and their dancing and champagne. Her memory of it was so laced with laughter, he couldn’t find anything that would upset him. It was just Jack being Jack, seducing anyone who walked by until he found a reason not to.

She let him keep dancing with her for far longer than he could’ve hoped, and then they went to bed, both dizzy on memories. The very next morning, she said they could go out.

He was _ready._ The perfect place, a little bit of home, but new and improved. New Earth, in fact.

Only, Rose had other plans. She wanted to visit her mum. Again, when they’d only just seen her a week ago. He grumbled, and whined, but Rose promised him it would only be a day, just to pick up some stuff from home and spend time with her mum. He agreed when she finally pointed out that the date she wanted to visit was Jackie’s next birthday. She said Christmas had been so hectic, she’d forgotten to give her mum the presents she’d been saving.

Mentioning Christmas was a bit of a low blow, but he took it in stride and off they went. He managed to get the right year, right month, even the right week, but he was a day late. Whoops.

Luckily, Jackie didn’t seem to mind. It’d been a couple months for her, and she dragged Rose off to the spa, leaving the Doctor to spend a while organizing and removing some of the clutter from his room to make more space for Rose’s stuff. He’d complained when she first mentioned it, but now he was ecstatic. More of Rose was always a good thing. By the time she called him to let him know she would be back soon, he’d cleared off half of every flat surface in the room and bathroom for her. He’d even put together some of the pieces he’d been planning to get rid of, and gave the new toy to Mickey. All it did was lock the front door and turn off all the lights in his flat with a press of a button, but Mickey loved it, stating he’d never have to get back out of bed at night again.

As Rose said her goodbyes, the Doctor set the coordinates and slowly began the sequence to dematerialize, leaving the activating lever untouched until she appeared in the doorway. Dead cute as usual, she was wearing at least three layers and a backpack. She let the jacket and backpack fall to the ground and she joined him and began twisting knobs, tapping areas that the Doctor normally needed to give a good smack. Sometimes he thought the Tardis preferred her. He loved it.

When they finally stepped out of the Tardis and he gave her his usual explanation of their location in time and space, he rejoiced when she was lost for words. He’d made Rose Tyler speechless. They ran across the empty field, and lay on his jacket. He thought that was the most useful thing about it. He could bring something for them to lay on with him everywhere, and it kept Rose close to him.

His hearts stuttered when she said the word ‘date’, but he brushed it off. Rose was always talking about going on dates with her girlfriends at the estate. She didn’t mean anything by it.

He loved the way she helped him get his coat on, when the brisk wind of New New York had his hand grasping at nothing. And how she was so good about going to a boring old hospital instead of visiting the shops, or the theatre. Rose had come to love the theatre. He took her to every kind he could find.

Teasing her was second nature by now, but as he looked her up and down to find something to call her, he got very distracted by her chest and all he could come up with was “Pink and yellow.” It was better than the other mess of words he wanted to call her. Beautiful, perfect, brilliant, wonderful, and a lot more less polite ones. So he pointed behind her, “That’s where I’d put the shop, right there.”

He’d secretly hoped she’d have to take another elevator. This far in the future, he knew how the decontamination process worked, and he didn’t trust himself soaking wet in a tiny capsule with her for any amount of time. Though when the thought of how shocked she would be doing it on her own made him giggle, he was happy to find not everything about Rose drove his systems haywire.

He wasn’t sure how she could’ve gotten lost. She’d read the psychic paper, and he’d shouted it to her before the elevator took off. Ward 26, not hard. Maybe the elevator hadn’t heard her right.

Still, visiting with the Face of Boe was nice, and with all these miracle patients, clearly something was going on inside this hospital. Rose needed to see this. When he got tired of waiting he asked to borrow a phone and called her. She was acting very strange, but then, she always liked being kind of silly on new planets.

By the time she arrived, they didn’t have the energy to spare to spend time with the Face of Boe anymore. Something strange was happening in this hospital. Wrapping an arm around Rose’s waist, he led her out to the hall, and it was thankfully devoid of anyone from the Sisterhood. But what was wrong with Rose? She was being very strange, vocally, and very quiet mentally. He’d have thought she would be chatting with him like normal, sharing what had happened between the lobby and ward 26, but it was radio silence. And she felt so distant, where had her jacket gone? What was with the voice?

Her joke about a new her rubbed him the wrong way. Rose was as lovely as ever, how was she new? But then Rose’s mouth was on his, and her hands were in his hair, and for a moment he worried he was daydreaming again. But this was wrong. Rose was kissing him, touching him, and yet there was still nothing coming through their connection. Something or someone was repressing her mind. How dare it use her to kiss him? That was so sick on so many levels, and he hated how he would probably daydream about it for weeks because while it had definitely not been Rose’s mind, it was still her body, and those soft pink lips were perfection.

Had the Sisterhood done this? Why? How? He hadn’t even investigated them yet, why retaliate against Rose? If he got angry, something might happen, and Rose’s mind would be in even greater danger. So he pretended it was alright, that this was normal. He stepped up to the terminal with her and did a scan, but he tested. “What if the subframe’s locked?”

“Try the installation protocol.” That was it, if he’d had any doubts, they were gone. Not only would Rose have no way of knowing what an installation protocol was, she certainly wouldn’t get testy about it. She liked to laugh when he implied he didn’t know something.

It was sickening, a place supposedly built on healing and goodness, with a human farm hidden from the rest of the world. He was near boiling, and staying so very very calm wasn’t going to work much longer. Hearing Rose so empty, so selfish, he was ready to scream. Her voice, her morals, the way she carried herself, and especially the way she said his name was all so distinctly _not_ Rose that he was starting to hyperventilate. Novice Hame arrived, and he questioned her, but Rose herself turned him around and grabbed his tie. She pulled him closer, and the Doctor tried very hard not to shove her away. She whispered in his ear and the wires connected. “Cassandra?”

She spritzed something in his face and he was out. He woke with an awful taste in his mouth, strapped into one of the cells. Panic started to choke him as he realized he couldn’t move at all, there was no amount of wiggling that would get him out. He tried not to let his voice reach a scream, “Let me out! Let me out!”

Then Rose was there, but it was actually Cassandra, whispering threats and leaving him to die. He listened to her muffled voice as she threatened the Sisterhood. She was going to get Rose’s body ripped to pieces. Then the door popped open, his straps unlatched, and he was free.

But so was everyone else. All the patients on the floor were climbing out of their prisons, heading straight for the nuns. Cassandra ran away, and he could only offer the advice of “Don’t touch them! Whatever you do, don’t touch!” She was getting away, and he had to get Rose back alive. He’d promised her mother. He’d promised himself.

As he chased Cassandra down the hall, the locks on the still sealed doors began to short out, releasing even more of the plague carriers. They rounded the corner and watched all the doors open. Every last one, thousands and thousands of them. What did she do?

“I want that body safe Cassandra!” So they ran, down to the basement floor, losing her servant Chip along the way, and Cassandra revealed her hideout. She’d been lying in wait down there, watching everything, and was that a psycho-graft? Rose was going to be compressed to death!

He pointed his screwdriver at her, she didn’t have to know it couldn’t actually do anything. “Give her back to me.” He watched Cassandra expel her essence, but then it came to him, and suddenly Cassandra was in his mind. He couldn’t see what she was doing, couldn’t hear her words. He could only throw up every barrier he had to keep her out of his thoughts. It hurt, like he was drowning or running out of oxygen. Everything was fuzzy and Cassandra was scraping away at his head.

Then she was gone. Why was Rose behind him? Rose was never supposed to be behind him! Rose went first! He watched her take over Rose, and when he demanded she get out, she jumped back into him. He wanted to scream with frustration when he felt the compression field pushing in on him again. Again, he hid his thoughts and waited until she left. She’d left Rose too, and he wasted no time in opening the doors and pulling her through with him. At the last second, Cassandra’s pink essence slide through the gap and reclaimed Rose’s body.

She was different. She’d gone quiet, and for the first time he saw a bit of empathy in her. There was no point in trying to get her out if she would just jump back and forth between them, so he had to leave her. Had to let her compress Rose while he dealt with the problem that she would want him to worry about.

And he did it, he was able to save the day, and Cassandra even helped. All those precious new humans. Life will out!

It took a few hours to settle everything, and the time ticked away so slowly and far too fast for him. They finished curing the rest of the new humans, lowered the quarantine, and let in the police. When everything had been explained, and the nuns were being taken into custody, the Doctor remembered his reason for originally coming here.

The Face of Boe was well again, and he was really just very enigmatic. Once he’d teleported away, the Doctor turned to face his last problem of the day.

He wanted her out. He wanted her gone. He wanted Rose back. Then her bloody servant Chip showed up, and how was he supposed to stop her from switching?

He caught Rose as she collapsed, and whispered apologies to her mind. She’d been trapped for so long. He tried to let go, but she went down again, and this time he pulled her close to him. Finally, Rose. The way she breathed, the way she held him back as she caught her breath. He’d missed her. He sent that to her as well, she deserved to know how lost he’d been without her, she needed to know how important she was.

“Okay?” he asked out loud, failing at shoving away his enjoyment of having her so close and her mind so hot, and he remembered the way her lips felt.

She looked up at him, and smiled perfectly, “Hello.”

“Hello, welcome back.”

They jumped apart when Cassandra started talking through Chip, but he kept a hand out, in case Rose needed help staying up. And when Cassandra collapsed, Rose was right there with him, helping him support Chip’s body. After all she’d been through at the hands of Cassandra’s deluded mind, she still wanted to help.

Together they took Cassandra back to the memory Rose had seen, back to the last night anyone had called Cassandra beautiful. And they watched her die, in the arms of a less jaded, less bitter version of herself.

He hated losing people, even people like Cassandra. And all those patients and visitors in the hospital, and poor Chip. He was infuriated with himself when Rose tried to comfort him. She was comforting him, when she was the one who’d been tortured for hours in the back of her own head. But she wouldn’t let him stay angry, and even though they no longer needed to touch to communicate, she twisted her hands into his hair and pulled his forehead so it clunked a little against hers.

It reminded him of Cassandra’s kiss, and he didn’t have time to hide it before Rose caught the memory and replayed it. To his surprise, she wasn’t angry. She just sighed. _She was so excited to feel human again._  Knowing Rose wasn’t going to be angry at him, for any of it, made it easier to show her the rest. To admit that he’d instinctively called her name instead of Cassandra’s when he began to collect the medicine for his master cure. To apologize a hundred times, over and over because he’d left her there to suffer, instead of making Cassandra get out.

She hushed him, silenced his mind. He’d never not thought before. Turning off his brain just didn’t work and from the moment he woke up to the last second before he fell asleep, and sometimes in his dreams, he was always thinking and scheming. But she made it all go away. Rose wiped the messy, dusty blackboard of his thought process clean, and stamped a new line onto it. _You did exactly what I wanted you to do. Thank you._

Rose thanked him. This was so different from all the other times, and he hated that there were other times, when she’d been in danger and he’d chosen to save the world rather than put her first. This time she took all of his guilt and shame and brushed it away, so he could see the truth. Rose really was just like him, she understood, and she wanted him to keep doing exactly what he was doing. They both knew that some things were fixed points. Some things needed to be saved, and some needed to die. And while he would fight with everything he had to keep her safe, he knew he would eventually have to go on without her.

The Doctor realized that they were still standing in front of the console, and tears were streaming down his cheeks, but she soothed him. She rubbed the back of his neck and wiped away a couple tears and whispered to him. 

'Doctor, I will always be here for you. I know you don't believe it, but just trust me, yeah? I'm gonna be by your side forever, there's no getting rid of me so don't even think about it." She said it like a fact, and the Doctor half wondered if she knew something he didn't.

This was far beyond the realm of anything he’d ever imagined talking to Rose about. Their whole situation was completely bonkers, and he choked out a chuckle between sobs. Rose read his thoughts, decided it was time for bed, and pulled away. She slowly put up her walls, leaving him with some dearly needed privacy, and took him by the hand instead.

As Rose led him down the hall, and helped him pull off his layers down to just his trousers, he marvelled at her. Everything was so convoluted. He’d stolen her away from her planet, then married her, melded his mind with hers, and shared a bed with her, all without ever telling her that he loved her. And she was okay with it. She never seemed to find it strange that he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, or than they were almost as intimate as a couple could get. She took it all in stride, and he thought this was the weirdest friendship in the whole universe.

He did love her, and he was so grateful for her walls, because his mind felt so drained he couldn’t put up his own if he tried. There was no chance of him trying to hide it from himself. No amount of lust, or adrenaline addiction could explain how when Rose looked at him, he no longer felt like the Lonely God. He loved her, and he would love her until the day he died for the last time.

And she need never know.


	11. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are going to hate me. I never understood what writer's meant when they said the characters just got away from them and did stuff on their own. At least, not until now. I promise, I tried to make this cheerful. But, uh...well, you'll see.
> 
> This is unbeta'd; all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Rating: Mature-mostly just for massive amounts of swearing

Rose made him laugh every day. It was like it was her new mission, to make him laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe. When they bet on getting Queen Victoria to say “We are not amused”, he had to turn away every time she made an attempt, just to hide his silent giggles. And when the queen  _ actually _ said it, he couldn’t even pay her the ten quid. After a bit of banter that went a little sideways in his opinion, the Doctor ended up giving Rose a back massage next to the pool, and he was absolutely sure that massage table hadn’t been there before. Not that he was complaining, of course. In fact, although the deal was twenty minutes, he continued until she fell asleep, just because she’d let him.

After that it only got more extreme. She’d have the Tardis play strangely accurate songs for whatever he was rambling about at random times, hide his favourite books and make him follow clues that were exclusively based on life trivia she’d told him over their two years together in order to get them back. He was awful at it, always forgetting whether her favourite uncle was Jerry or Jamie, and who was Shareen’s fifth boyfriend? Oh, right, the one with the earrings. Oh damn, she’d put them in the wardrobe again.

Sometimes he had more fun just staying in the Tardis with her and exploring. He knew the Tardis could come up with infinite rooms, but he loved seeing what they could find. Once they stepped into a room full to the brim with snowglobes, and Rose ended up finding one for Mickey’s next Christmas present. Another time they found his old study. He hadn’t been there for nearly a hundred years, and he quickly locked the door. Too many memories, and none of them happy. But there were more things to see and do than he’d expected. There were simulated beaches, and rollercoasters, and even an anti-gravity room that Rose refused to step foot in. 

“I love lookin’ at space, not floating in it.”

So instead they played on the jungle gym they found, and he pushed her on the swingset as she shared with him more memories of living on the Estate, and the parks her mum tried to take her to when she got a day off work. The Doctor wanted to take her to see them again, so he did.

Then he took her to the Coldplay concert she’d missed because of Jimmy Stone, whose face and all memories of him Rose had hidden behind one of the very few locked doors in her head. After that it was off to try all the foods Rose had dreamed of tasting, and to visit all the countries she’d wanted to travel to when she was little. They helped build a house for a day in Paraguay and all the supervisors were amazed at Rose’s perfect Paraguayan Guarani. The day after, the Doctor took Rose to see a lecture on the possibility of time travel at Cambridge. They sat as far in the back of the hall as they could, and he whispered to her mind each time someone was wrong. He could feel her giggles everywhere and took her hand, just because he could.

Rose had told him about not going to university, or even getting her A levels. She was ashamed of it, but he liked the smile she gave him when he leaned over and muttered, “See? Not all it’s cracked up to be, you learn a lot more traveling with me then you ever would stuck in one of these stuffy lectures every day.” 

And she was learning. He didn’t know if it was just extra information bleeding between their minds, but she almost never had to ask him to repeat himself anymore. Anything she didn’t understand she just accepted and remembered for later. It was easier for him to contribute to their conversations, because she understood him now, and he didn’t feel quite so much like he was speaking the wrong language. It was almost like being back on Gallifrey sometimes.

They still traveled to the far reaches of the galaxy, but he made sure each stop had a little extra meaning for Rose. On one particular occasion they got the landing a bit dodgy and ended up on the wrong side of a planet. Baderflit was a world split in two. One half was about the wildest party in that corner of the galaxy, full of everything from raves to poker nights, and any other kind of get together you could think of. They even had a whole city block of nothing but those book clubs where everyone just gets drunk and exchanges gossip. He’d been planning to take Rose to the 75th century version of a village dance, so she could dress up as someone out of a Jane Austin book. 

It looked like the right place when they stepped out of the Tardis. He even boasted a little about how good their placement was, just outside the door of the dance hall. Violin music filtered out of the windows, thrumming with a vibrancy that made the Doctor’s neck tingle, on account of the violins being made from a dense but beautifully acoustic crystal. Rose was enthralled by it, and dragged the Doctor inside to dance before he could question why the rest of the street was so quiet. They should’ve been right between the Greek parties and the opera shows; hardly a calm place.

The instant they stepped onto the marble dancefloor, heads swung their way with accusing eyes. “Um, Rose…” This was definitely not the right place. He tugged Rose backward by the arm she had intertwined with his, but before they could get back out the door, they were accosted by a short women with dark blue skin and glowing green eyes. With fluttered hands and shushes she herded them to the back of the dancing area and into a separate kitchen, where hors d'oeuvres were being made by older women in plain grey uniforms. Once the door swung shut behind them, the blue woman finally spoke. “I beg your pardon, but telepathy is strictly forbidden here. You’ll need to put a stop to it at once if you plan to stay. I’m surprised anyone let you get this far into the district without telling you.”

“And, uh, which district would that be?” The Doctor gave the formidable woman his best innocent face and tugged on his earlobe.

She looked at him with more than a little disdain and said, “District 24. How is possible that you don’t know where you are? Are you drunk? Alcohol is illegal, and if you are at all inebriated I’ll have to call for the-”

“Apologies, miss.” Rose interrupted, “We aren’t drunk, I promise. Just a bit turned around.”

The woman’s bristled appearance calmed a little, and she smoothed down her skirts before speaking, “Well then.” She cleared her throat importantly, “In that case, my name is Hendrij Polret, but you can just call me Matron. If you tell me your names and where you and your husband were trying to go, we’ll get you sent on your way in the morning.”

Or they could leave now, and the Doctor could take Rose to the right side of the planet and dance with her all night. Yeah, that seemed like the right option. “It’s no problem, Matron, we’ll be happy to get out of your hair right away.” Wait, did she say husband? Rose might not like that. “Oh, and we’re not married.”

It was immediately apparent that this was the wrong thing to say. Matron’s skin blushed an even darker hue of blue and she began to sputter, “You aren’t- You mean to say, you’re engaging in telepathy while unattached?” The look on her face could only be described as scandalized. He’d forgotten how conservative the numbered Districts of Baderflit were. 

This wasn’t going to go over well, and the Doctor was already preparing to make a quick exit when Rose stepped forward. She’d put up her mental walls and had plastered a radiant smile on her face. Glancing at the Doctor with twinkling eyes, she said, “Of course not! Again, I apologize, Matron. It’s all still a bit new. We’re newlyweds you see, visiting for our honeymoon. This is the Doctor, and I’m Rose.”

It looked like Rose had found Matron’s weakness, first try. Immediately, the woman’s eyes softened and she returned Rose’s smile. “Oh, well isn’t that lovely? I’m so glad you chose the numbered Districts for your little getaway. I can get you settled in our finest hotel, but not until after the dance, of course. The roads are closed at night, but the patrol always arranges a few carriages to get everyone home.” She reached for a plate of hors d'oeuvres and held it out to them, “In the meantime, let’s get you something to eat and then we can rejoin the party. Just remember, none of that telepathy anymore.”

The Doctor wanted to ask a question, but Rose managed to kick his ankle as she returned to his side, and pressed a nibble of some kind of cheesy pudding on bread to his mouth. Matron didn’t seem to like him much, so maybe it was best if Rose did the talking. She switched her facial expression to one of appropriate curiosity, and the Doctor found himself wondering where she’d learned it. He knew she was surprisingly good with people, but that was just her being nice. They’d not spent much time around anyone quite so no-nonsense as Matron since meeting Queen Victoria, but Rose was being pleasant and polite enough for the both of them.

“Matron, if I may, how could you tell we were using telepathy when we came in?” She’d even schooled her voice into a slightly more genteel one than her own. As he chewed his nibble, the Doctor beamed at her.

By now Matron had found other things to interest her in the kitchen, and she was bustling around tidying things and distributing plates to the servers. She responded as she wiped away a nonexistent smudge on an empty platter. “Oh darling, we’ve all been trained to detect telepaths. Once we banned them, all of the elders received training. It’s such an inappropriate business, it’s just as well it’s not allowed anywhere in the numbered Districts. You should have done better research before coming here.”

He finished chewing, and the Doctor couldn’t help asking, “You can’t hear what we say though, right?”

He’d upset her again. Maybe it was best if he just didn’t talk at all until they could slip away. “Of course not! How could you even suggest such a thing? Telepathy is nasty stuff, and our only job is to find out who is using it and either put a stop to it or have them removed.” Matron visibly shook herself before continuing in a strained voice, “Now, why don’t the two of you go enjoy the dance? Respectfully!”

Rose led him out, and pulled him to the dance floor immediately. He instinctively took her hand and began the proper dance with her, but the moment they’d gotten into the swing of things, he whispered. “Rose, we really should leave, don’t you think?”

“Why? As long as we don’t use any telepathy, we should be fine. I’m sure these are great people.” The Doctor twirled her along with the other couples, and tried not to get distracted by the way her dress swished around her. She looked lovely in her cream coloured dress. He couldn’t remember the name of the fabric, but it was very soft under the hand he had on her hip. Like one of her fuzzy blankets, only much thinner. It had a corset built into it, and he’d loved helping Rose lace it up.

But he’d wanted to take her somewhere much more relaxed. This place was stuffy, with all its rules. Didn’t she want to be at a dance where people were friendlier? “For some reason, everything I say seems to upset Matron. I’ll probably end up in the local jail by the end of the hour.”

Rose just laughed at him. “You just don’t like being somewhere where I’m more suave than you.”

The Doctor opened his mouth in mostly mock offense. “I’m plenty suave, Rose Tyler. Matron just hasn’t given me a chance. And anyway, how I was I to know that she had a soft spot for newlyweds? That was a lucky guess on your part and you know it.”

“I wouldn’t have had to come up with it if you hadn’t denied we were married! I thought you were supposed to be some kind of an expert on the places we go.” He was trying to be annoyed by her. Of course he was an expert, it wasn’t his fault they’d ended up in the wrong spot. The Tardis was just finicky. 

Any retaliation died, however, when their dancing shifted them into place right underneath the hanging chandelier. He’d noticed it when they came in, but now the jewels hanging from the light were bouncing projections of colour across Rose’s dress and she looked stunning. Her simple gown turned into a kaleidoscope of jewel tones, and unable to resist, he spun her again. Twirling her out of time with the other couples, but he didn’t care.

He was absolutely dazzled by her, and when they’d returned to the proper rhythm his voice came out a little weak as he said, “I suppose we could stay for a bit.”

They stayed until the end of the dance, and he remembered only as the crowd began to file out the front doors that they needed to get back to the Tardis. He wrapped an arm around Rose’s waist so he wouldn’t lose her in the jostling of dresses and suits, and leaned down to mutter, “We can split away once we’re outside.”

She nodded at him, but Matron appeared out of nowhere once they reached the pavement, and began tugging on his arm. “Come along, the carriages are just around the corner.”

“Well actually, um, Matron, we were planning to-” The words died in his throat when the Doctor tried to turn away and got a glimpse of the path where they’d left the Tardis. It was gone. He froze in place, and nearly tripped Rose in the process. “Where’s the Tardis?”

Rose spun away from him to look as well, and seeing the empty space she grabbed the Doctor’s hand. “Matron, there was a-a blue box, there next to the hall. Do you know where it went?”

Matron just huffed and tugged on the Doctor’s arm again until he began to follow her with shuffling steps. “Oh that eyesore, I had it picked up by the patrol.”

“But that’s my ship! Where did they take it? We need it to leave!” Only Rose squeezing his hand kept the Doctor from yanking his arm away and going to find it himself. Didn’t she understand? They took the Tardis. They were stuck there!

“Oh nonsense, it was just an ugly decoration. If it really is yours, you can pick it up at the patrol station in the morning. Oh, wait, the lost and found office is closed for weekends, so I guess you’ll have to wait a couple days. It’s no bother, we can always ship it to you when you leave.” With that, the Matron shoved the Doctor toward a carriage that already had another couple inside. “That’s the carriage going to the hotel, have a good night!”

And she left. The bloody woman left, after taking his ship and stranding him and Rose in this stupid district. “Rose, we’ve got to go find it.”

But Rose was already climbing into the carriage, “Come on, Doctor. You heard her say the roads are closed. We can ask more about it once we get to the hotel.”

Numb, the Doctor followed her. The carriage was small, and Rose sat on one side with the other woman, while the Doctor sat across from her with the man. He wanted to talk to her, plan with her how they were going to sneak into the station and get back the Tardis, but they couldn’t talk aloud because of their company, and they couldn’t speak silently because of the stupid rules. Instead, he shrank into his seat and glared out the window until their trip was over. In the background he heard Rose making small talk, but not even hearing her call him husband would lift his mood. Much. It did help though.

He got out of the carriage first, followed by the other man, then he held his hand out to help Rose and the other woman get out. He hadn’t paid attention to their names, or even what relation they were to each other. When Rose came out, she politely wrapped an arm around his free elbow, the picture of elegance. Did she not realize how much trouble they were in? They were stuck. The Doctor hated being stuck.

As their group headed indoors, he forced himself to listen to their conversation and learned that their companions were another married couple. Claudette and Jirt. Jirt appeared to be from Baderflit, but his wife was clearly from a human colony. Rose was discussing what other strange rules they should expect from the District. She was thinking clearly, and making plans, and here the Doctor was pouting. He disgusted himself sometimes.

It didn’t take long for him to realize why he was in such an awful state of mind. Rose was gone. He’d spent so much time with their connection, with her whispering reassurances in his thoughts, now it was too quiet. He’d been relying on her to make him happy and feel good about himself. That wasn’t fair. She just wanted to have fun and see other planets, she shouldn’t have to be responsible for keeping him sane.

He realized too late that Rose had already paid for a room for the night. She’d even thought to bring her own money, probably because he usually forgot. This wasn’t right. He was supposed to be taking care of her! But he couldn’t make himself do anything but stand in the back while she asked the attendants questions about the town.

As he dragged behind Rose when they were led to their room, he wondered if they would really be stuck there all weekend. What if it was permanent? What if they had to start traveling the long way? What if that wasn’t good enough for Rose? Would she leave him and find someone better to travel with?

“Doctor, are you listening to me?” They were in the room, with the door locked and the attendant long gone. He’d just been brooding in a corner and hadn’t noticed the time passing. 

He looked up at her, took in the infinitesimal worry lines on her forehead. “I’m sorry Rose, I really wasn’t. What were you saying?”

She sat on the edge of the bed, and patted the space on the generic looking duvet next to her. If he refused, he’d just look as petulant as he felt, so the Doctor took the offered seat. When he did, Rose leaned against his side and looked down at her hands. “You really are the most anxious alien ever. Even worse than those, what were they called? Kari-Karidors. You’re worse than the Karidors.”

The Karidors were the native inhabitants of an otherwise peaceful planet called Ruponderfedist. Although they were the only predators on the planet, they still lived as vegetarians because they were too frightened of the wildlife to hunt. When Rose and the Doctor had landed almost on their doorstep, they’d tried to light their homes on fire and run away, until the Doctor put out the flames and they decided worshipping Rose was the best way to stay safe.

“I am not anxious! In what way am I anxious?” The Doctor jumped up and began to pace the room. He only managed a single lap before Rose blocked him. 

She put her hands on his shoulders and stared him down. “We are not stuck here, Doctor. I promise.”

He hugged her. There was no way she’d heard his thoughts, but Rose had read his mind. There was very little he hated more than being forced to stay in one place. Not having an escape plan was excruciating and his whole body was screaming that he run out of the hotel and hunt down the Tardis so he could leave. It was one thing to chose a weekend vacation, and quite another to have it forced on him. How stupid had he been, to land on a Friday?

Rose was always so warm. While the Doctor was no longer as stone cold as his last body, he still felt much too cool sometimes. Before Rose, he’d just accepted it. But now that he’d experienced actually being warm, and sometimes being hot, he found it unbearable to feel anything more than a slight chill without Rose by his side. Most things were unbearable without Rose by his side these days. It was beginning to seem like a problem.

Unable to hear his internal wonderings, Rose focused on the task at hand and began to explain the plan she’d formuled while he had been moping. “I asked about the station, and it’s a good distance away. If we want to get there we’ll have to take another carriage. But Matron was right, the whole station is closed down over the weekends except for the police, or they call it the patrol. I think we should really just stay here in the room and relax for a couple days. I told the woman at the desk about us being ‘newlyweds’ and she gave us their best room for a discount.”

It was a nice room, the Doctor realized as he finally pulled away from Rose and looked around. A nice thick carpet, and the whole placed draped in soft greens and creams. There was an en suite with what looked like a jacuzzi tub visible through the doorway, and a small balcony with a table and chairs. The corner fireplace and loveseat reminded him of his own room, and the tightness in his hearts eased a little.

“This whole place is the weirdest mix of like 18th century fashion, with, what is it? 75th century technology? I mean, I’m amazed they call those things outside carriages. They float and drive themselves!” Rose was examining every inch of the room with interest, even playing with the lightswitch in order to watch the bulbs buzz to life. For a little bit the Doctor sat on the loveseat and leaned over the back of it to watch the world through her eyes. It was always easier to enjoy the places they visited when he saw the way it looked to Rose. All new and fresh and different.

After a few minutes, he realized there was a slight hitch in the plan, at least for Rose. “We haven’t brought any clothes with us you know. I didn’t think to put any in my pockets.” 

Rose just waved him off and bounced onto the bed. “While you were preoccupied I talked to the man downstairs. I told him the Tardis was basically our wardrobe or something and he offered to sell me some of his wife’s old dresses, since apparently we’re almost the same size. She’s bringing them up tomorrow.”

“And what about tonight? What’ll you sleep in?” He’d been trying not to think about what she might be wearing under her dress, but he was sure it wasn’t much. “Bad idea to sleep in a corset.”

She wagged her finger at him, “Actually, since this dress is based on an 18th century design, just with less layers, it’s not a called a corset, it’s just called stays.” He gaped at her, but she laughed. “The Tardis had a little booklet to explain the dress. She does that with most of the period clothes I wear. Like a history lesson in every outfit.”

With that, she rolled off the bed and came to stand at the back of the couch, looking down at him. “Anyway, I’m wearing a shift or something underneath this, I just need you to help me untie these laces.” As she spoke, she pulled a couple pins from her hair, and the very loose updo she’d had fell apart. Blonde hair dropped down onto her shoulders, and trailed down the crevice of her bodice.

The Doctor gulped. It was one thing to lace Rose up, but to take her clothing off was a whole other matter. “Y-you can’t get it undone by yourself?”

“Doctor, I did gymnastics in school, not contortionism. The laces are right between my shoulder blades, I can’t reach.” She turned around expectantly, and he had no choice but to rise to his knees on the couch and begin untying her dress. He couldn’t think of anything to say, and Rose seemed comfortable in the silence, so the only sound in the room was the crackle of the automatic fire, and the slide of her ties being pulled out of the dress. It was her size, so there was no need for an extender. This meant that for each level of lacing he undid, the Doctor revealed a bit of Rose’s back.

She was wearing a shift, but it was very thin, and he could see her light blue bra through the fabric. For almost a full moment he contemplated how she would react if he pretended he’d accidentally unclasped it, but Rose shifted in front of him, and he focused intently on his original task. When he was done, he leaned around her to hand her the small roll of lacing he’d removed, and when she grabbed it he pulled back like she’d burned him. Too close, and far too few clothes.

At least on the Tardis she wore actual pajamas. Sleep shorts, or even full length bottoms, and a camisole or too-big t-shirt. Something that wasn’t see-through.

Rose didn’t even bother to take the dress off in the bathroom, she just let it slide off her and puddle on the floor as she headed over to the bed and got under the covers. Well, at least the Doctor would show some modesty. He went into the bathroom and closed the door before leaning against the sink and counting down from fifty. Then, as calmly as any man could when knowing he was about to share a bed with a beautiful woman, he took off his layers until he was in just his trousers. 

He was probably going to need to actually change his clothes once they got back to the Tardis so he could get his suit cleaned after wearing it for a whole weekend. Or maybe this hotel had laundry services? But he didn’t have anything to wear while his clothing was being washed. What was he supposed to do, lounge around the room naked? With Rose? Bad thoughts. Bad.  
He splashed some cold water on his face and made sure he didn’t have any obvious problems before he stepped back into the main room.

The bed was by no means small, but Rose was laid down right in the middle, the way she did in the Tardis. The Doctor climbed in beside her, and turned her over so he could spoon her almost without thinking about it. They’d been doing it for so long now. He always started by cuddling her like this, but by morning she might be laying across his chest. It was normal, it was natural.

The shift made things a bit different. Because of the thin fabric, it more or less felt like he was cuddling Rose in just her underwear, and he was mildly distressed when he couldn’t find a good place to put his arm that didn’t feel inappropriate. Rose ended up grabbing his hand and wrapping his arm around her waist, so he kept himself there, even though he could feel the waistline of her pants under his fingertips.

Rose usually put him to bed pretty quickly by projecting her own urge to sleep to him. She knew he would stay up late otherwise, just staring at the ceiling and thinking. Without their connection open, he was sure he would be up for a while.

He waited for her to fall asleep, but she didn’t. So they just laid in silence, and the Doctor quickly ran out of productive things to do in his own head. He’d put up his own walls, to ensure nothing got through and they couldn’t get in trouble, and he’d made a list of the parts he needed to pick up next for the Tardis, along with reciting three poems.

In the absence of sleep, or anything useful to do, the Doctor’s mind went to less pleasant places, and he began to question things he normally pushed away. Namely, Rose.

He didn’t want to think about her leaving, but that left him thinking about her staying. What if she did stay? Would it always be like this? Like what they had now? With the touching and the sleeping together and the intimacy without having anything more than a friendship. He’d been insecure for ages about whether Rose even saw him as someone with the potential for anything more. After Jack was gone, she’d erased his name from the sign she hung on the pool door to warn she was skinny-dipping. She’d never added the Doctor’s in the first place. She clearly didn’t care if he saw her naked, but  _ how _ did she not care? Was it because she considered him a sexless being, even though he’d outright told her he had experience? Or, and he barely dared to think it, was it because she was so repulsed by him that the thought of him seeing her naked didn’t even register?

But that wouldn’t explain why she wanted to sleep in his room, in his bed, or why she let him touch her at all. And she did let him, all the time. But was it because she was okay with it, or because she thought if she said no he would get upset? No, that couldn’t be it, she took his hand too. She instigated a lot of their touching. Was she making herself do it, to keep up pretenses?

He felt slightly sick to his stomach, and the Doctor suddenly rolled onto his other side, putting distance between his back and Rose’s. 

This relationship they had, what was it, really? They’d never actually defined it before, not to each other. To other people, constantly. Everywhere they went, it felt like they came up with different ways to explain their situation. Rose was his companion, his friend, his partner, his charge. But what did that mean? In reality, wasn’t he more like her tour guide to the universe? Her taxi driver? Rose had once told him about Shareen’s brief stint as something called a ‘sugar baby’ to a much older, richer man from across the river. She would be sweet to him and hold his hand and hug him even, in return for money, or gifts, or trips to fancy places. The idea had seemed ridiculous to him at the time, but now...wasn’t that exactly what was happening? 

There was clearly no romantic relationship to be had between them. There couldn’t be, it just wouldn’t work. But friendship wasn’t enough to explain what they were to each other. At least, it wasn’t enough to explain what she was to him.

The worry wouldn’t stop. He hadn’t been this lost in his own anxieties for a long time, and the Doctor itched to move. If he were on the Tardis he could vent to her, go poke around and find something to fix while she soothed him or just listened until he ran himself out of steam. But he was stuck here in this stupid room, on this stupid planet.

He got off the bed, and was just about to go pace in front of the fireplace when Rose rolled over and looked at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Why do you let me touch you?” He couldn’t keep it inside. He had to know. Though this was probably the worst possible time and place to start this discussion, if he didn’t get some answers he might just regenerate on the spot.

She smiled, and rolled over properly. “Because we’re newlyweds, silly.”

The Doctor shook his head, then he shook it again, vaguely hoping he could just shake the stress out. “Rose, I’m serious. I don’t mean here, I mean, well, everything. All the time. Why do you let me touch you when we aren’t…”

“When we aren’t what?” Rose sat up and crossed her legs under that thin shift and why the hell was she comfortable wearing that around him? He was 900 years old! She was 21.

The sight of her bra through the fabric made him flinch, and he looked away, staring into the pastel green flames burning from nothing in the grate. “Couldn’t you cover up or something? Maybe I was wrong about the dress, it might be better if you wore it to bed.”

He heard Rose get out of bed, but he still jumped when she put a hand on his shoulder, “Doctor, what’s wrong? When we aren’t what?”

The Doctor pulled himself away from her and shoved his hands in his pockets. He turned to face her, but kept his eyes trained on the floor. “Could you just put some clothes on?”

“When we aren’t what, Doctor!” She was angry at him, but hey, he was angry at her too. 

He looked her in the eye again, trying and failing to keep his voice quiet, “When we aren’t involved! Don’t you think it’s inappropriate for you to wander around wearing practically nothing? Do you not understand how much older I am than you? I’m a bloody Time Lord, and you’re human! You’re barely a child by my standards!”

Suddenly Rose pulled the shift over her head and threw it down next to her. Caught halfway through a breath, the Doctor backed up and knocked into the mantelpiece. The corner dug into his back, but he didn’t even register it. Rose was standing in front of him, wearing nothing but her bra and pants. They matched. Rose was seething.

“What the hell is your problem with me? Just because I won’t live a few thousand years doesn’t mean I’m not a goddamn adult who can make her own choices! You’re right Doctor, we’re different species. That means I mature faster than you. I noticed that the second I came on board the Tardis and you tried to impress me by showing me the death of my bloody planet! What surprises me, is how such a high and mighty Time Lord can still act like such a stupid prat!”

No, she wasn’t going to turn this around on him. This was not his fault, their whole situation was not his fault. She chose to come, she wanted to come! She’d run to his Tardis and let him sweep her away and that was all on her! “Oh, I’m stupid am I? At least I’m not some ape who thinks the best way to pay for her chauffer to the universe is by letting him think it’s okay for him to, to, whatever the hell it is we’ve been doing.”

She hated being called an ape. The last time he’d done it she’d avoided him for weeks. Now she just burst into angry tears, “What the hell are you on about?”

“You think I haven’t figured it out? All the cuddling and the hugging, that was just your version of payment, wasn’t it? Did you really think I’d just drop you somewhere if you didn’t let me, let me be near you? How far were you willing to go to keep your spot on the Tardis?” She’d told him herself, practically spelled it out, telling him about Shareen. She was right, he was an idiot. He should’ve seen what she was doing ages ago.

The left side of his face exploded in pain. The Doctor stumbled to the side and nearly tripped on the grate cover before landing on his knees. Rose was glaring at him, tears still streaming down her cheeks, her whole body heaving. “I'm not some bloody prostitute!”

The Doctor held the burning side of his face, but he met her gaze. “Then what the hell are you?”

“I’m in love with you!”

All the air in the room was sucked out, and the Doctor could do nothing but stare.

She didn’t mean that. She couldn’t mean that. Rose never said. She never said! She couldn’t. They’d been in each other’s heads for months now, how hadn’t he noticed? She really...blimey, Rose loved him?

He’d been waiting, hoping, desperately begging the universe to make it so. Since the moment she’d dragged him through her front door and demanded real answers, he’d been wishing she loved him.

But it didn’t matter. It couldn’t, they couldn’t. Time Lords and humans weren’t supposed to. Sure,  _ dancing _ with other species was fine, but love? No. Besides, after everything, he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t even able to do that. He wasn’t allowed, not after what he did. He wanted to, he  _ ached _ to. But he couldn’t.

He blinked. Once, twice. “I. I can’t-I don’t. I’m not.” He blinked again, and Rose had snatched her shift and dress from the floor and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Rubbing his cheek, he clambered to his feet and went over, “Rose, come out! Please!”

“Piss off!” She was sobbing now, and after a moment her tears were hidden under the sound of a shower.

The Doctor stared, dumbstruck, at the door for a moment, lost in his head and in the grains of the not quite real wood. Then he wandered around the room, aimlessly padding from corner to corner, waiting for her to come out. She didn’t. After a hour he sat on the couch. Another 45 minutes and he laid down. It was small, but he couldn’t bear to use the bed.

By the time he fell asleep, his healing had advanced his cheek to the dark purple stage of bruising, and there was a hollow ache inside him he didn’t think would improve with a painkiller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least it was super long?  
> Hope you guys can forgive me. I'm trying to zoom in a little more on this moment, so the next chapter will be about the same time period. After that, I get to tackle School Reunion and The Girl in the Fireplace. Oh Doctor, you massive idiot.


	12. A Bit Inbetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, I'm not sure if I'm making things worse or better with this, but here you go.
> 
> Unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Rating: Explicit

The pure white beach was starkly contrasted by the purple of the waves. The Doctor had managed to get exactly the right date and time he’d been aiming for, and it meant that Ardun wouldn’t be populated by any sentient species for at least another hundred years. He and Rose had it to themselves. They’d set up a whole camp area, with a little firepit and towels laid out and weighed down by rocks so they wouldn’t blow away in the cool breeze.

Rose asked him to apply her single application sunscreen, and the Doctor was happy to help. She’d gotten everything but her back, so she laid down on her stomach on the towel, and he sat on the back of her thighs. Rather than miss something and have Rose get a sunburn, the Doctor elected to untie the strings to her bikini top before rubbing some sunscreen into his hands and getting to work. He wasn’t nervous, or jumpy, just happy. As his hands glided over her skin, he listened to the little moans of pleasure Rose let out when he rubbed at a tense muscle.

Pushing his luck, he skimmed a finger under the edge of her bottoms, lightly stroking the soft skin from hip to hip. Rose didn’t protest, she just hummed and wiggled a little when he accidentally tickled her. Once he’d let the lotion soak in properly, he propped himself up with a hand on either side of her stomach, and kissed his way down her spine. She hummed again, but on his return trip he continued up to her neck and felt her body tense and her breath hitched when he pressed his lips to her pulse point.

Balancing on just the one hand, he let the other roam. As he shifted his body weight to one side, Rose shifted as well, giving him access to her stomach, one half of her chest, and between her legs. Not one to waste an opportunity, he tickled her stomach, then cut off her laugh by grasping her free breast and running a thumb over the nipple. She jerked a little, and her responsiveness pushed him to kiss her neck again before rolling to lay next to her. With him pressed entirely against her back, he couldn’t resist holding her hip and pressing his tented shorts into her.

She giggled at him, “We are not having sex on a beach.”

He pressed again, and moaned into her ear, loving the way it made her jerk back to him again. “We’re not on a beach, we’re on a beach towel.” he breathed. She’d told him ages ago that her neck was ticklish, and that ticklishness had a funny way of turning to arousal whenever he put his mouth on it. She shuddered next to him, but shook her head. 

“Not happening, Casanova. I don’t want to be cleaning sand from strange places for the next week.” She scooted away from him, and laid on her back, bikini top forgotten beneath her.

The Doctor’s mouth went dry, and one glance at Rose’s face told him that it was definitely her intention. He smiled at her as filthily as possible before straddling her hips and capturing one breast in his mouth. Another shudder, as he swirled his tongue around her nipple and kneaded the other breast. He didn’t have the patience to stick with one place very long, so he jumped around her body, sucking on the thin skin next to her collarbone for a bit to leave a mark, then licking his way up her neck. The sunscreen was made to absorb completely into the skin, so there was no trace of it on her anymore, leaving him free to lave his tongue over anything he pleased.

He kissed his way over her body, pausing occasionally to grind down against her. She moaned, and shivered and gave him the breathiest whimpers that only made him moan in return. Just enjoying her like this was ecstasy, so he took his time. It felt like ages since he’d kissed her, and that was a situation that needed remedied immediately, so he dragged his tongue up her chest and neck and pulled her lower lip into his mouth.

She let him do what he wanted, and he loved watching her bask in his affections, nearly purring with pleasure. The way he pressed his tongue into her mouth was the definition of leisurely. He stroked the sides of her tongue with his own, before touching the roof of her mouth and nipping at her top lip until she gasped.

When he finally thought he’d had enough to sate him for the moment, he laid beside her again, and let his fingers move feather light across the soft curves of her abdomen. The amount of satisfaction he got from feeling her muscles jump under him was sinful, but he didn’t mind.

He was hard, had been since the beginning, and every brush against her sparked a moan, but he was content to wait. They had all the time in the world.

Rose watched the clouds, and the Doctor watched her. After a few moments, he hummed into the side of her shoulder to get her attention, and when she met his eyes, he reminded her for what must have been the millionth time.

“I love you.”

The Doctor smiled as he nuzzled his nose into the soft fabric of the couch cushion in his sleep.


	13. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst just keeps on going, and I'm sorry to say it'll continue for at least another chapter. I promise though, it'll all be worth it in the end.
> 
> Rating: Teen and up

A polite rap on the door woke the Doctor up the next morning, and he rose groggily from his cramped position on the couch. His head was buzzing with nice dreams, but the relaxed smile slipped from his face when he saw that the bed was still empty. There was another small knock and he jumped up and raced to the door, yanking it open, “Ro-”

A well dressed lady stood in front of him, a couple folded dresses in her arms. Her skin was a light purple, and it complemented her golden hair well. The Doctor realized that she must be the wife of the hotel owner, and blushed when he realized what a state of undress he was in. He glanced around the room again, but there was nothing to put on. His shirt was still in the...bathroom. Rose was still in the bathroom.

“Pardon me for, uh, interrupting. I’ve brought some dresses for Dame Rose to look at?” Although she looked uncomfortable, the woman’s good manners kept a smile on her face. Rose would probably like her. 

What she said finally registered, and he pulled a hand through his hair, looking at the bathroom door nervously. “Yes, o-of course. She’s just, cleaning up. I’ll-I’ll get her.”

He padded over to the door, and forced himself to knock on it like he wasn’t terrified of the response. “D-Darling?” He looked inquisitively at the woman until she supplied her name, “Menade, the woman whose clothes you were going to buy, she’s here with some dresses.”

There was tiny groan from inside that he was sure Menade wouldn’t be able to hear, and then the sink ran for a moment. Just as he was about to knock again, maybe start begging, the door swung open.

Rose was wearing her shift again, but she looked right through the Doctor and smiled so brightly he could almost imagine it was genuine. “Thank you so much for coming, I apologize for mine and my husband’s lack of clothes, but last night we suddenly found ourselves at a bit of a loss.”

She swept past him and grasped Menade’s arms lightly, “These look absolutely gorgeous! Would you mind helping me try them on? The Doctor’s a bit rubbish at most things to do with women.”

Menade seemed to be in her element, and she whisked Rose over to the bed so she could lay out the dresses. The Doctor meanwhile, chose to retreat to the bathroom himself. Inside, he managed to splash some water on his face and tame his hair before he noticed Rose’s dress from the day before, rolled into a lumpy pillow in the empty tub. Rose had been so angry with him, she’d slept in a  _ tub. _

Gently, he lifted the dress and shook it out, before hanging it over the edge. He doubted she’d ever want to wear it again, but if she wanted to put it back in the wardrobe, or burn it, at least it wouldn’t be so wrinkled. He took a long shower, grateful for the hotel’s supply of shampoo and conditioner. As he was smoothing some body wash down his arm, he felt one of his dreams from the night before trying to broach the surface of his mind, but the more he focused on it, the more fuzzy it got. By the time he gave up all he could remember was purple waves and sunscreen.

When he got out, he changed into his creased clothes and ran his fingers through his hair one more time before leaving. Rose was fully dressed, in a much less streamlined gown that looked like it had at least 4 layers of skirts, along with the corset. Even with their situation, he couldn’t help noticing how lovely she looked in it. The lavender coloured linens and lacy apron made her look as delicate as, well, a rose. He just knew a stupid expression had come up his face when Menade chuckled a little.

She looked much happier, probably because he was now dressed. As she helped Rose pin a decorative bonnet to the top of her head, Menade exalted her to him. “Isn’t this just lovely? I had hoped the clothing would fit her, but they’re just the perfect size. This dress in particular looks much better on her than it ever would on me. Though, I’ll admit, they’re some of my more bulky dresses, so you’ll be getting some practice with helping your wife tonight.”

He stiffened. That would be, actually, he didn’t really know what it would be. Helping Rose with her clothing was usually one of his favourite and most hated things. His favourite because he got to be near her with a purpose, and because he was being helpful to her, and just touching her, however innocently, was wonderful. His most hated, because touching her, however innocently, also sent his mind into a very detailed tailspin.

The Doctor had finally come to terms with his body. He no longer thought of it as new, or the other old. They were just his bodies. But his mind was still a work in progress. He could have sworn that before his regeneration he’d just been mildly appreciative of Rose’s figure, of her beauty and her softness, but when he tried to remember back to that, he could only conjure up more and more heated thoughts. It was a feat to push them back and every time he thought he’d got the hang of it, he’d get lost staring at a lock of hair that’d stuck her lip.

Unable to even attempt controlling his sleeping thoughts, his body became just as much of a traitor as his mind when he shared a bed with Rose. Especially his hands. Maybe he hadn’t noticed before because he’d always slept alone, but he was far too handsy. Each morning he had to remove them from various strange places, whether he was cupping Rose’s cheek, or had his fingers slid up her stomach under her sleepshirt.

She’d never complained before, and now he knew why, but that didn’t make it any less rude. Considering how Rose must be feeling after their fight, he was slightly worried she would refuse to let him help her get undressed for the night. He didn’t want to be the cause of any more distress for her.

Rose didn’t seem to have a good response to Menade, she just kept adjusting the already perfectly hanging skirts in the mirror and avoiding the Doctor’s reflection behind her. The Doctor fumbled for some of the politeness he’d claimed to be so good at at the dance, “I’m sure we’ll get her sorted easily enough. Tell me, Menade, have you and your husband owned this hotel long?”

Smalltalk was boring, but he felt the need to prove to himself he was capable of amiable conversation. The last 24 hours hadn’t been his finest. After learning a bit more about Menade, and her husband Kordal, and how lovely the local community was supposed to be, he began to try and subtly end the conversation. Rose had long since pulled a small screen from the nightstand and gone to read it by the fireplace, leaving the Doctor to take care of their guest. But Menade didn’t seem to want to leave, at least, not without Rose. She’d casually mentioned visiting the local park twice already, and when she saw the Doctor trying to say goodbye, she spoke to Rose outright.

“Dame Rose, would you be interested in going out for a stroll today? The weather is lovely, and I’d hate for you to be cooped up in here all weekend.” 

Immediately the Doctor began to reject the idea. They needed to talk, to sort all of this out so they could go back to...well, anything less distant than this. “Well, we’d actually planned to just spend our little vacation relaxing here in the-”

But Rose had risen and crossed over to him, standing close enough to look loving, but just far enough away she wouldn’t brush him by accident. “I’d love to go. Fresh air would be nice. And I’ve been with my new husband constantly, it’d be great to spend some quality time with another woman.” Her fake voice was gratingly sweet, but Menade didn’t seem to notice.

Rose promised to meet her downstairs, and walked Menade to the steps before returning to the room. As soon as the door was closed, she held her hand up, stopping the Doctor in his tracks. He’d already opened his mouth to try and talk to her, already stepped forward. When she shook her head, his jaw snapped shut and he backed away again.

She rubbed at her forehead, and they stood in silence for a moment. “Before you ask, I don’t want to talk. I don’t even want to look at you right now, so just leave me alone. I’m going to go out, and hopefully be gone for the day. Find some way to amuse yourself or something.”

Grabbing a tiny white purse from the side table, Rose opened the door to leave. He wanted desperately to let her go, to give her space, but he couldn’t. So, he went up behind her and spoke lowly, “Under the pretense of your husband, I should walk you to the front door. It wouldn’t look right otherwise.”

A stiff nod was Rose’s only response, but he put a hand on her arm and tried to stop the hurt that bloomed in his chest when she flinched. “I’m-I’m really sorry, but to keep up appearances. We, um, we should…” She understood what he couldn’t say and looped her arm loosely with his.

As they walked down the steps, the Doctor pretended he didn’t mind how tense she was, how little contact she kept with him. The bare minimum, just enough to look good. How could he have mistaken what they had before for this? The contrast was painful, as everything was today, from hanging on him and warm embraces to the repulsed featherlight touches of a forced companionship.

Menade and Kordal were chatting with the couple from last night’s carriage next to the entryway when they arrived and the Doctor plastered on a smile to match Rose’s. “Just dropping her off for you.” He let his arm fall to his side, and nodded at both the couples, then to Rose. “See you later then, dear. Have a nice time.”

To his surprise, Menade laughed. “Oh Doctor, we really aren’t that strict here. You can kiss her goodbye!” 

He was in hell. He’d never believed it really existed before, but watching Rose’s cheeks turn a furious pink, he knew he’d finally arrived there. Before he lost his nerve and ran away in fear, the Doctor swooped down and brushed a barely there kiss to the corner of her mouth. She didn’t move a muscle, but her mortification was taken as a new bride’s embarrassment, and the other women tittered at her blush.

They left quickly after that, and the Doctor managed to escape back to the room only having promised to get drinks with the other husbands after dinner. Pacing the length of the room, he wished he had something to tinker with, or fix. Something other than his own thoughts. He picked up and examined every item in the room that wasn’t bolted down.

Two book scans in the drawer, one a religious text, the other a list of the laws in District 24. The scan Rose had left on the couch was an automatically updated newspaper, and it only took him a moment to skim through it. This had to be the most dull town he’d ever visited. A china-equivalent lamp on top of the nightstand, and one on top of the light brown dresser. Both were covered in abstract flowery designs. A peek in the top drawer of the dresser showed that Rose had put away the other dresses, and each was folded neatly. Maybe he should hang them up instead, so they didn’t wrinkle? But no, Rose would be annoyed he’d touched her clothes.

Six small figurines, in shapes varying from something vaguely porcine to a set of Baderflitons with orange and fuschia skin. One hand mirror, a note tablet, stylus, and a simple tea set with its own water boiler. The tea available was only the most bland flavours, but making it had become a familiar task the Doctor, so he brewed a cup and stirred in more sweetener than was necessary. It was still bland.

The time passed excruciatingly slowly, yet when the wall clock sounded the dinner hour, the Doctor couldn’t remember most of what he’d done besides memorizing the laws. No telepathy, no drinking, no smoking of any kind, intentional or otherwise, no skin above the knee, no travelling the roads after 10 pm, along with other rules about the minutiae of everyday life. It was like a big boarding school that a bunch of grownups had refused to leave.

Rose hadn’t returned yet, so the Doctor headed downstairs alone and followed the straightforward signs to the dining room. She was there, seated at the single table next to Claudette. There was an open seat beside her, probably meant to be his. Rather than face her immediately, he wandered over to the bar at the back of the room. With alcohol illegal, it was filled instead with basic fruit juices, protein shakes, and sodas that smoked like they were full of dry ice. Unthinking, he ordered a random drink and brought it back to his assigned seat. He took a sip as he sat down and nearly choked.

Pranditsy fruit. He’d ordered a bloody pranditsy drink. He looked over at Rose’s place setting. Her glass matched his. The Doctor quickly set the drink down, but the coincidence wasn’t lost on Jirt, who then pointed it out to the rest of the table. They all thought it was adorable, but Rose shifted infinitesimally further away on her chair. She probably thought he’d done it on purpose, either to tease her or to get in her good graces again. 

He didn’t expect to get in her good graces any time soon. She’d told him she loved him, a fact he still couldn’t make sink in, and he’d turned her down. He would’ve explained if she hadn’t run off, but how could he blame her for doing what was usually his method of dealing with things?

The only thing he could think to do was let her be. She deserved that, deserved way more than he’d ever given her and ever could give her. It’d never crossed his mind as anything more than a daydream that she might actually want any kind of romantic relationship with him.

But she did. Still might, unless him calling her a prostitute had turned her away from him forever, which wouldn’t surprise him. Rose Tyler stood in front of him and offered him everything he’d ever wanted. She offered herself. And he’d turned her down. How absolutely stupid was he? Suddenly the only thing he wanted to do was drag her away and apologize until she let him kiss her.

“Sweetheart, would you mind passing the salt?” The first course had been served without him noticing, a succulent steak of pink and red meat, with green and blue veggies, and a mashed brown something, and Rose’s hand was on his wrist. From the looks on their tablemates faces, this was not the first time she’d tried to get his attention.

Falling into character, and secretly relishing the chance to have an excuse to be overly sweet to Rose, he gave her the salt shaker with his left hand and clasped her fingers in his right. “I’m sorry, darling, I was just thinking about work.” He took advantage of the fact that Rose would need a good reason to move away from him, and rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb. There was no way for him to communicate telepathically to her, and she definitely wouldn’t want him to, but he wanted to show her he was sorry, and that he wanted to make up for the awful things he’d said to her.

To his dismay, Rose pulled away anyways, using the excuse of needing to cut into the steaming slice of meat in front of her. So, he tried again. When Jirt asked him what being a doctor was like, he leaned back in his chair and put an arm around the back of Rose’s. Now he wasn’t touching her directly, but he was still close enough to play with the fabric on her sleeve. “Well, if I’m honest, it usually doesn’t feel like work at all. I’m a travelling doctor, but because I’ve got my own ship, Rose is able to come with anywhere I go. It’s wonderful to be able to help people and show my wife the universe at the same time.”

He watched Rose’s face as he spoke, hoping to see a smile, or at least see the little crinkle in the corner of her eye. Instead she blushed, just as pink as before, and stood up. “Doctor, dear, I’m not feeling very well, would you mind coming with me to get one of my tablets?” Smiling reassuringly at the worried faces around the table she said, “It’s nothing serious, just little stomachaches sometimes. I’ll be right back.”

She left the room, sweeping through the archway and into the hall, leaving the Doctor to follow her. This was perfect. He’d been hoping to talk to her after dinner, planning to find a way out of the drinks he’d promised, but the sooner the better. Catching up to her, he tried to take her arm, but she yanked it away and strode up the stairs. Confused, he trailed behind her into the room, only to be shoved back against the closed door.

“What is wrong with you? Do you have to bloody rub it in?” Rose was just barely managing to keep her voice at a loud whisper. Seeing her hand tighten at her side, the Doctor began to wonder if he’d misread the situation.

He ventured a smile, “I’m not trying to rub anything, I was trying to apologize. Listen, Rose-”

“Apologize? An apology doesn’t do me any good, you wanker! When you tell a girl you don’t love her, apologizing doesn’t fix anything, and neither does grabbing at her at the dinner table!” 

“But Rose, I-”

Her hand had curled into a fist, and he put his hands up in surrender, but she didn’t go for it. Rose had to know how much trouble they would get into. If they couldn’t pull off being a couple for the next two nights they would end up in jail, and while that would definitely put them closer to the Tardis, it would also leave them no way to escape. If there was anything the two of them could agree on at the moment, it was that they both wanted to leave Baderflit as soon as possible.

Besides, Rose wouldn’t hit him just to be vicious. Sure, she had a temper like her mum’s, and the slap he’d gotten last night was well deserved, but Rose wasn’t mean. She turned away from him, wiping at her eyes and pulling the bonnet off her hair. Tiny pins fell onto the carpet and disappeared in the material. “Rose, I’m sorry.” he whispered. He hadn’t meant to make her uncomfortable. He just hadn’t thought about it. He really was an idiot.

“I don’t care about your sorrys, alright? From now on, when we’re out there and we’re playing these awful parts, I decide when and how much we touch. Got it? And cut it out with the cute crap, I doubt they’ll care if you just call me by my name.” She looked at him again, flushed from nearly running up the steps, little bits of her hair falling from its bun into her face. 

He nodded. Of course, he’d do anything. He’d stay away, sleep on the couch, he’d stop talking to her completely if she wanted him to. Anything to make her not hate him so much. But, he needed to know. “After, after we get the Tardis back. Do you want to go home?” The wait for a response felt like a dagger being pressed slowly but surely through each of his hearts.

Rose looked away from him, “I don’t know.”

When they got back to dinner, he did as she asked. He let her instigate any and all contact, which she did, in appropriately timed touches and arm holding. He avoided using any pet names, and pretended to be really interested in his meal when he caught winks from both Jirt and Kordal. Apparently they’d misinterpreted the flustered appearance of Rose.

The women moved to a sitting room to talk, while the men headed over to the bar. The Doctor was still nursing his pranditsy drink, and kept up with the conversation fairly well, considering his mind was a few galaxies away. Since they’d sat back down he’d started reliving his memories with Rose, adding in the context that she’d really, truly, had feelings for him. Every little touch, every time she said his name, it all felt different knowing she loved him. It was the only thing keeping him from going into a sulk as he fended off innuendo filled questions and remarks from the nosy husbands.

They spent the rest of the night in silence, on opposite ends of the room. When it was time for bed, Rose gave up on the lacings of her dress after a valiant ten minute assault, and had him help. It was frustrating that he still enjoyed it, even when she was angry with him. And he couldn’t just slide out the corset lacings, because they were under a bunch of layers, so each section had to be untied separately and allowed to drop to the floor, until she was in just her shift and the corset again. Stays, he reminded himself. He’d only got the stays half undone when Rose decided she didn’t want any more help and walked away from him to do it herself.

He ended up stripped back down to his trousers, and laying down on the couch. It took him a good two hours to fall asleep, but he spent it counting in increments of .461, to keep his mind off of her.

The Doctor’s eyes opened when Rose pulled him up to a sitting position and climbed on his lap. The rest of him woke up when she pressed her lips to his and then thrust her tongue into his mouth. He kissed back hungrily, breathing heavily through his nose. There was no way he would question this, though it could be happening for any number of reasons, and as he pressed her against him with one hand on the back of her neck, and the other on her waist, he counted them out. 

  1. Rose had decided to test if he really wasn’t interested, in which case he would most definitely show her he was. 
  2. Something was happening that meant they actually needed to kiss for their safety, and he was not going to mess that up. The way he was kissing her could be excused as getting into character.
  3. Rose was affected by something, and he should probably stop, but it might take a few seconds to work up the will to do so.
  4. The world was ending-No, a key was jiggling in the lock on the door. Option 2 it was then. 



Which meant Rose didn’t want to kiss him, but needed to. Why? Surely a maid wouldn’t find it suspicious if they weren’t always snogging. But she would find it suspicious that he was sleeping on the couch. Rose was making it look like they’d decided to spend the morning kissing in front of the fire. Got it.

He wanted to continue the illusion, maybe drag her down, or move to her neck. But she had said she would decide how and when they touched, so he stayed still, only letting his mouth move on hers. Her hands had found their way to his hair, and he couldn’t help the tiny moan that escaped when she accidentally tugged.

A quiet gasp sounded behind them, and the door thudded shut again. Rose pulled her mouth away with small pop and he stared at her. He’d seen her flushed with anger, fear, and excitement, but never with arousal. That was definitely new. “Sorry.” she muttered, staring right back at him.

“Don’t have to be, I understand.” He kept his eyes on her face, refusing to look below her chin. 

She slowly untangled her fingers from his hair and leaned back, “Menade had told me, about the maid coming this morning, but I forgot until I heard her in the hall, so I-”

“Yeah. Smart thinking.”

“Thanks.”

She was still sitting on his lap. She seemed to realize this the same time he did, but he put his hands on her hips to hold her still when she tried to get up. “Listen, Rose. I know you don’t want to talk about this, and that’s fine. I promise, I’ll keep my distance and anything else you want me to do. But, when we get back to the Tardis, could we try and work this out? I...I don’t want you to stop travelling with me.”

He let go when she moved to get off him again. Rose didn’t look at him as she went over to the dresser, but he still heard her say, “Okay.” 

This time they did spend the whole day in the room. Still on different sides, still not really talking, but it was a little less tense. He helped her into another gown, this one a rich brown, and they even joked a little about the layers. She laughed when he shocked himself while trying to tinker with the newspaper scan, and brought him a cup of tea while he was reading aloud from the archives he’d managed to crack into. There still wasn’t anything interesting about the district, but it passed the time. 

At lunch and dinner they kept up their acts, chatting pleasantly with Claudette and Jirt, and Menade and Kordal. Rose seemed to have grown rather close to the women, and she promised to keep in touch with them, though the Doctor didn’t know how well that would go.

They repeated their routine from the night before, him helping her undress, and then her taking the bed. Even getting back the Tardis went well the next day. He simply signed their names, ‘Sir Doctor and Dame Rose’, and she was theirs again. The instant they stepped into the console room and closed the door behind them he threw down his barriers and greeted the Tardis properly. 

She’d missed them, and all the lights flickered with joy as he rubbed some of the coral and tossed his jacket onto the jumpseat. He needed to get changed, but first. “Rose, do you think now we could…”

Rose wasn’t paying attention. She hadn’t even bothered to remove her walls yet, she’d just run up and grabbed her phone from the console, absently patting the Tardis as she clicked through her messages. The Doctor watched her face fill with worry, and then the phone rang again. “It’s Mickey,” she mouthed, answering it.

After a mostly one sided conversation he could only partly hear, Rose hung up and started pressing in the coordinates to Earth. “What’s wrong?”

“Mickey says he thinks there’s trouble at this school, there’s been a UFO sighting.”  She still hadn’t even looked at him.

He went up next to her, “Couldn’t it wait? Just long enough for us to talk?” He was trying. Talking was one of the things she used to get so mad at him about. She told him he would talk and talk all day, but when it came time for something important, he wouldn’t say a word. Now Rose was doing it right back.

She shook her head at him and moved to the other side of the console, “He says he thinks it’s an emergency. We’ve got to help him.”

“Rose, it’s a time machine.” he said gently.

Slamming a lever down much harder than it needed, she huffed at him, “I know! Look, I’m not ready. I don’t want to talk, I want to help Mickey. Can we just do that?”

The Doctor froze, then silently turned on the stabilizers and took over the landing controls. Whatever she wanted. At least she hadn’t asked to go home permanently.


	14. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are going to hate me, and then, hopefully, you're going to love me. So I don't leave you in too much suspense, I waited to upload this chapter until I had the next one almost finished.
> 
> Reminder; I own nothing of the Doctor Who trademark, I'm just borrowing it for a love story.
> 
> Unbeta'd; all mistakes are mine and I hope you'll forgive me
> 
> Rating; Teen and Up

Meeting up with Mickey went about as well as expected. While his information wasn’t concrete in the least, it was enough to interest the Doctor, and he help Rose infiltrate the school with him. Things were still on that line between tense and okay, but they had another set of parts to play. Physics teacher, and much to Rose’s chagrin, dinner lady. 

On the second day, he got his proof. A student in his class had a massive amount of knowledge, way beyond what he should’ve. The lunch was nice, and he got to be a little silly with Rose as he explained what he’d found. But it was afterwards, during a free period, that the Doctor’s world turned upside down.

Sarah Jane Smith. She walked right into the breakroom and after the shady headmaster had introduced her, she headed right for him. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. Sarah Jane was alive, and here, and she was okay. 

She was investigating, just like him. How clever, how brilliant was she? He was too dazed to pay much attention to anything for the rest of the day. He hid his feelings when Rose and Mickey came into the Tardis after school, but there wasn’t really a reason to. She still hadn’t taken down her walls. Other than that, she seemed okay.

He gave the two of them their targets, and headed to Finch’s office to have a look. But he ran into Sarah Jane first. He should have known she would come in that night. Oh, it was amazing to see her. To be able to tell her that everyone was gone, and know she understood. He wanted to explain, but someone screamed. Definitely not Rose, which meant Mickey. Oh, that idiot. As if he didn’t have enough problems.

Sarah Jane followed him through the halls towards the maths department, and they nearly ran into Rose on the way. She did  _ not _ look happy to meet Sarah Jane. Then Sarah Jane had to make that tiger comment, and he was on thin ice with Rose already!

He ran off and they found Mickey surrounded by vacuum packed rats. That was enough to make him scream? What did Rose ever see in him, huh?

While he was busy fighting with Mickey, Rose and Sarah Jane were making jabs at each other. What was their problem? Sickenly, it was Mickey who worked it out, patting him on the shoulder, “The missus and the ex, welcome to every man’s worst nightmare.”

Oh no. No, they were better than this! Didn’t they understood they were on totally different levels? Sarah Jane, she was as close as a friend could get. She’d traveled with him for years. And Rose, Rose was his...she was, well she was something else entirely.

He got a bit distracted when Sarah Jane showed him K-9. He thought his dog was long gone, but there he was in the back of the car. A bit broken maybe, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. The whole way to a chip shop where he could work on K-9, he chatted about parts and what exactly might be wrong, and searched his pockets for the right tools. Everyone else was a bit quiet.

Rose and Mickey went off to get chips, but Sarah Jane came and sat next to him as he worked. She’d clearly grown just as attached to him as the Doctor was, and why not? K-9 was the perfect dog. He knew all the good commands, could speak 342 languages, and had an internal scanner that would be just the thing to analyze the oil Rose had grabbed from the kitchens.

Finding out it was the Krillitanes they were dealing with made things much more complicated, but he still needed to get back to the school and find out what they were doing to the children, so he sent Sarah Jane and Mickey to put K-9 back in the car while he cleaned up his tools. Rose called out to him as they left the shop, “How many of us have there been travelling with you?”

What? “Does it matter?” Why would Rose care now, she’d never asked before.

“Yeah, it does if I’m just the latest in a long line.” Oh that was perfect. The Doctor couldn’t help a bit of annoyance that bubbled up. Couldn’t she pick a side? One minute she loved him, the next she didn’t want him near her, and now she was upset because she wasn’t the first person he’d travelled with in over 900 years? She was the one who wouldn’t even talk to him about what’d happened, wouldn’t let him bloody explain!

And this, this was exactly why they couldn’t be together. Why it would never work. Why he never should’ve made that connection, no matter how much she begged. 

“I don’t age. I regenerate. Humans decay, you whither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you-” But she didn’t want to know, he wouldn’t tell her now. “You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords.” 

He’d lost everyone. His whole species. Was it any wonder he’d latched on to the closest relation? Humans looked like Time Lords, talked like them sometimes. When he spent time with the most brilliant among them, it was almost like being home. But they always left him. Whether they died, or grew old, or walked out. It felt like yesterday that Rose had held him and promised she would always be there. But of course she wouldn’t.

Rose was shaking her head, about to speak, but a screech rang through the air and the Doctor turned to see a Krillitane swoop down toward them. He and the rest of his companions ducked, and the Krillitane just flew off. 

It was trying to get his attention.

The next morning, after sleeping on the couch at Rose’s-when was he going to get to sleep on a real bed again?-Sarah Jane picked them all up and took them back to the school. He handed his sonic to Sarah, seeing as Rose didn’t want him touching her, and had Mickey wait outside. He didn’t know when he’d developed such a bitter streak, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

After a disturbing conversation with Mr. Finch, he ran off to check on the girls, only to find them laughing hysterically. He liked this even less than when they were fighting. What was so funny? “Stop it!”

When they’d gotten ahold of themselves, he grabbed the sonic and started pulling the computer cables apart, trying to get into the hard drive. But the Krillitanes deadlocked sealed everything, and he couldn’t open the computer drives up without smashing them. Just as he was about to go find another computer room, all the screens turned on. 

The Skasas paradigm. This was ridiculous. Why Earth? Why did aliens always come to Earth to start ripping the universe apart? Then Finch appeared. The Doctor tried to keep his cool, but he actually began to waver as Finch described the things he could fix. All the power of the universe, he could save everyone. He could fix everything. His people…

“Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it’s a world, or a relationship.” He looked over at Sarah Jane as she spoke, saw Rose behind her. They would never forgive him, and if he saved Gallifrey, he never would have met Rose in the first place. 

She’d had her walls up this whole time, hadn’t even loosened them when they’d left Baderflit, but through the tiniest seams, he felt her saying please. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He picked up a chair and chucked it at the front screen, shattering it and turning off every other screen in the room. They were all interconnected, which mean he could turn them all off at once. But first.

“Out!”

After their usual amount of running, and blowing up the school, it was time to say goodbye. He didn’t even know what to say to Sarah Jane. He’d abandoned her, cost her K-9, and now he was leaving again. He took Rose and Mickey back to the Tardis so Rose could change, and met Sarah Jane a week later. He and Rose had a talk, not about what he wanted to discuss, he was starting to think they’d never talk about that, but about Sarah Jane. She’d bonded with his previous companion, and had even brought it up.

So, as Sarah Jane stood in the console room again, after all these years, he asked her again. “You could come with us.”

She turned them down. It gave him hope when she talked about not waiting for him anymore, he never wanted to make them wait. But then Mickey spoke. “Can I come?”

Sarah Jane was all for it, and the Doctor wanted to put whatever had happened with him and Rose behind them. All of it. She and Mickey could still be together. He would back off, just like she wanted. Besides, it would kind of funny to see Mickey trying to cope with space. And, as much as the Doctor hated to admit it, Mickey wasn’t useless. So he said yes. But Rose didn’t sound very pleased. 

Why not? He’d done it for her. Because it was what she seemed to want. She still kissed Mickey every time they said goodbye to him, was she really going to say it wasn’t what she wanted? Everything in the Tardis went tense, so the Doctor went outside to wait for Sarah Jane.

When he asked her about having a family, the look she gave him told him everything he needed to know. He done it to her too. He’d made her think he could, made her believe they were something more than what he’d meant. Was this something he’d always done, and he just hadn’t realized it? Sarah Jane deserved a family, and a future, and a past she could share with people. Not him. 

So he said goodbye, and left her with the only gift he could. While Rose had changed, and Mickey had blundered around the Tardis halls, he’d rebuilt K-9, updating him where he could, and making sure he would keep working for years to come. He even put some spare parts in the circuit board compartment, just in case.

Rose didn’t help him pilot, just hung on Mickey’s arm and chatted to him about home. It was awful, watching her so comfortable with him, when the Doctor couldn’t get within two feet of her without her leaving. She was still so angry with him, and they hadn’t had a relaxed minute to work any of this out. Or maybe this was her response. Maybe she was just trying to tell him, this was it. She didn’t want anything from him except the grand tour. 

He’d told her that was okay. He hadn’t expected anything more when she came on board, and while he now knew he’d been wrong about her trying to pay him for the ride, he was happy she didn’t think he’d kick her out for not wanting him. But if they were going to keep travelling together, then he wanted to be able to move on too. As if he ever could. She’d been the only thing he thought of when people said the word perfect since he’d held her hand the first time. And though it’d been days since the last time, he still felt that way.

Days. It’d been days since he’d hugged her, nearly a week since he’d held her hand, and he had no guarantee he ever would again, except if he was pulling her away from death.

He aimed for something easy, a quiet little spaceship in the 51st century. Getting on board, he decided to do a scan of the ship, only to find it had no people on board. No life signs whatsoever, and all the warp engines were on full. A bit of poking, and they found a fireplace set into the outside hull of the ship, with a room on the other side. 

Looking through the flames, he saw a little girl. Reinette, she said her name was. She was living in Paris, in 1727. Why would a ship use all the energy from their engines to punch a hole in time and reach a little girl’s bedroom? With his luck, there was no chance it was a good reason. He fiddled with the mantel, until he found the lever that spun the fireplace, and left Rose wrapped around Mickey as he swung into the bedroom.

Reinette was asleep now, must’ve gone to bed the instant he’d said goodnight. A quick look out her window confirmed where he was. Only it was winter now, it hadn’t looked like winter through the fireplace. When Reinette woke up she explained the time lapse, and the Doctor went over to the mantel, tapping on it. Loose connection, flickering in and out of use. Not a very good portal. As he rose, he noticed the clock was broken. But he could hear ticking, only it didn’t sound like a clock. Wrong size, slightly too fast. The only feasible place it could be hiding was under the bed, so he checked. As soon as he began to scan the darkness, something swiped out at him. 

Some kind of robot. Hiding under a little girl’s bed? What for? There was one way to find out.

He’d done it with Rose about a thousand times now, even bonded with her. And look where that got him. It wouldn’t matter if he did a quick scan, just to see why a 51st century robot would be bothering a child. He placed his hands on the side of Reinette’s head and took a quick peek. They’d been scanning her. That was it? What was inside her mind that was so important?

As he questioned the robot, Reinette looked right at it, without fear, just to ask why it wanted her. And it responded. 

Then it tried to kill him, so he took it to the fireplace, got its blade stuck, and swung it back to the spaceship with him. After freezing it, he took a look. Not just a robot, but clockwork. The design was ingenious, absolutely gorgeous. He was going to hate taking it apart. But it rebooted and teleported away. 

Rather than going after it, he headed back to Reinette’s to do a bit of investigation. It was light out this time, and the room had changed quite a bit, even to include a full sized harp. He plucked a couple of the strings before a woman appeared in the room.

It was Reinnette. He’d been gone much, much longer this time. She was no longer a little girl, but a woman. A very attractive woman. The image of french nobility. And she was intelligent. Questioning his existence without fumbling, always maintaining her composure. That is, until she kissed him of course. And what a kiss.

For all her layers and jewels, she was soft when she pushed him against the mantel. His first thought was of his surprise, then her lips, then Rose. A mean part of him pushed that last thought away. If she could touch Mickey, be so close to him and so far from the Doctor, then he could kiss whoever he pleased. Kissing Reinette definitely pleased him, but he’d only just put his hands on her hips when she rushed away.

He was dazed enough that it took him a moment to register the name that had been called out by a manservant. Poisson? Reinette Poisson? Oh, that was amazing. He’d just snogged Madame de Pompadour.

The Doctor was still giggling as he went back to the spaceship, but he quickly stopped when he saw Rose and Mickey were nowhere to be seen and the other fire extinguisher was gone. They’d wandered off. Dammit.

Apparently anything on the ship included a horse wearing french tack, which followed him around the ship as he searched for the humans. He didn’t find them for quite a while, even after he’d wandered through another portal and seen Reinette again, wandering a garden with a friend. He hated how lost he sounded when he called Rose’s name. Finally he could hear them talking, and found them next to another window. Another portal. As he explained what was happening, they watched Reinette meet the King of France. She came to the window, and as she straightened herself, he admired her. Long blonde curls, and her lips had been so soft. He wondered how long it had been since he’d kissed her. A year? Two? Could’ve been a week for all he knew.

He noticed the clock behind her was broken, and when the robot showed itself, he shoved open the window and stole Rose’s extinguisher, freezing the robot again. It didn’t last long, and he had to ask Reinette to make it answer him. It was only programmed for her, why? Why all this trouble?

They’d killed the crew, and used them as spare parts to fix the ship, but that didn’t explain why they wanted Reinette. When the droid escaped, he sent Rose after it with Mickey and Arthur. The hell he wasn’t keeping the horse, he could do what he wanted! He was getting more and more frustrated with Rose. Why did she get to keep poking and prodding at him, complaining about him not treating her specially enough, while she swanned around with Mickey the idiot?

He felt a bit of sick excitement at knowing he needed to check Reinette’s mind again. It was so very organized. Everything had its place, and it was remarkably easy to find what he needed. He warned her she could turn him away from anything private, but she left them quite open to him. Very, intimate moments were laid bare. She certain was comfortable with her fireplace man.

Nevertheless, he searched for the reason she was being put in danger by repair droids. What part could she have that they couldn’t have stolen from the crew? Why did they want to know what age she was?

As he looked, Reinette seemed to be affected by some old memories. She was talking about being alone, and the Doctor almost laughed. She’d never been alone, always surrounded by maids and nurses and friends and family. Nothing like him. 

Wait, “When did you start calling me Doctor?”

He pulled away from her. She shouldn’t have been able to do that. He knew his barriers were down, but she wasn’t a telepath, she had no experience. But she had, and she’d looked right past the doors he always kept in his head. No respect for his privacy. Those locked doors Rose had never even touched, she went right past them. But he didn’t even have a chance to be offended before she was flirting with him. Asking him to dance, as though she knew exactly what that word meant to him.

She dragged him away to the ball, and the Doctor knew he’d regret it soon enough. She was supposed to dance with the King, not him. But she managed both. It was fun, and though no amount of regular alcohol could get him drunk, he had a wonderful time. When he’d found his way back to the ship, only a few hours later, he filled his glass with anti-oil and set off to find Rose and Mickey. They were in the repair room. Not a good place to be. The best way to get close to the droids without them hurting anyone was to pretend he was a bit dumb, so he played drunk. 

They were tied up to long metal operating tables, and a blade was held to Rose’s throat. If he’d been a few moments late. The Doctor pushed down the guilt that tasted like bile in his throat. Rose was fine, Mickey was fine, and he’d had fun with someone who actually wanted to spend time with him.

Rose was not happy to see him, but he ignored her, and rambled on about Reinette. Reinette had danced with him, kissed him more than once in the shadows, and then gone off the with the king. She knew how to party. All the French did.

Once he’d dumped the anti-oil in the droids gears, the Doctor was feeling very good about himself as he flicked off the other droids and began to close down the connection. But it wouldn’t go. There was some kind of override keeping the windows open. A message started ringing through, and all the droids turned themselves back on, the first one dribbling anti-oil onto the Doctor’s trainers. He worried they were going to attack, and was about to tell Rose and Mickey to run, but the droid just said, “She is complete. It begins.” And the lot of them teleported away. 

They’d found the right window. Reinette didn’t have much time. He took Rose to a tapestry he’d passed, that he knew would take her to Reinette just a few years before she turned 37, and sent her to give Reinette a warning, and a promise that he would save her. Rose didn’t look like she wanted to, but he ran off with Mickey to find the right window. 

By the time they’d got to it, the droids had blocked it off. He couldn’t open it unless he smashed it, and then he’d be trapped on the other side. The Doctor fixed an audio link so they could at least tell what was going on within the window, and sent Mickey to get Rose. He was already pretty sure of what he needed to do, and he might as well say goodbye.

It took forever for her to return, and the droids were already bringing Reinette into the ballroom with the King of France and about a hundred other nobility from the Royal Court by the time the humans ran into the room. They started babbling, wondering how he was going to get through, and Rose shouted that he needed to do something. Didn’t he know it. “I’m going through, Rose.” he said, climbing onto Arthur’s back and picking up the reins. 

For the first time in ages, she looked him in the eyes. “You won’t be able to come back.” 

“I promised her.” Rose had already heard the ‘it’ll change the history of Earth’ speech about a dozen times, she didn’t need reminded.

So she watched him go. He had to back up far enough down the hall that Arthur could reach full speed and jump into the window. As he rode past, he smiled at Rose, and was grateful for the smile back.

He saved the day. As always. Only, this time when it was over, he couldn’t leave. Once again, he was trapped, with no way to escape, and this time he didn’t have Rose.

He had Reinette, but she had her duties. She was the unofficial queen of France after all. If he got in the way of her and the King he would be put behind bars, or worse. But Reinette dragged him off anyway, taking him to a room where they could look at the stars he’d once considered his playground. There was no going back. At least Rose would be able to take Mickey and herself home. Hell, if she really wanted to, she could fly the Tardis around the universe herself. Just not to him. The timeline was too convoluted now, if she tried to come get him it would do a lot of damage.

The anger was gone. He’d been so angry at her, for not wanting him around, for not talking to him. It was all just a front for himself, because he was mad she didn’t tell him before. If she had, sometime when they weren’t stuck in an awkward situation, and he hadn’t just called her a prostitute, maybe it would have worked. Maybe he would have been able to get over himself and they could be something.

Who knew it would only take him losing her forever for him to figure it out?

He did. He always knew. He was still a coward, and he’d never have been able to admit it to himself with her around, looking at him like he was the universe she was dying to see.

When Reinette took his hand, he almost thought she was taking him to bed. But she looked so sad, he let her lead him through the halls without fussing. She did lead him to her room, the room she shared with the King. But his eyes skimmed right over the massive bed and rec silk sheets, to the fireplace. Her fireplace.

He had a chance. A slim, miniscule chance, and he begged the world to let him be lucky just one more time. He tapped, listening for the circuits that connected the fireplace to the ship, and he tapped again, and finally. A hollow space, where the circuits were held. A little bit of sonicing, and a hard slap, and the time window whirred back to life. He could go home. 

Not wasting any time, he kicked the mantel and began turning towards the spaceship. “Wish me luck!”

“No.” His face dropped. Surely she didn’t think he was leaving forever. When he got to the other side he called through the fireplace and told her to pack a bag. Just one trip, she deserved it. Then he ran off to find Rose. She hugged him first, but he would have hugged her anyway because he thought he’d lost her and that mattered more than any fight they’d been having.

He buried his face in her neck and squeezed her. Never again would he go so long without hugging her. “How long did you wait?”

“Five and a half hours!” She hadn’t left him. Rose had chosen to wait for him to return, when at any time she could have just gone home.

He pulled away and grinned at her, “Great! Always wait five and a half hours!” He sent them both into the Tardis and ran back to the fireplace, calling for Reinette. She wasn’t there.

Swinging through, he startled when the room was wildly different. Everything was so dark, and grey, and nothing like Reinette at all. When he went into the hall, he knew something was wrong. The King was there, staring out a window. “You just missed her.”

She was gone. He was too late. 

With a letter in his jacket, he returned to the Tardis. Rose was quiet, she knew something was wrong. She was always getting things from him, even if she hadn’t taken her walls down. But for once, Mickey knew what to do and took Rose away, giving the Doctor privacy. He should really stop being so mean to Mickey. He wasn’t half bad.

The letter hurt. Oh, how it hurt. Everything hurt.

He had to keep reminding himself of the good things. He was home, in the Tardis, with Rose. She didn’t seem angry with him anymore, and they had saved history, again. It didn’t help much, but it was enough to get him moving.


	15. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the culmination of all this angst, finally. JEEZ. Though I promise this isn't the end. Hell no, I got plans!
> 
> Unbeta'd: All mistakes are mine, please forgive me.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up (Don't worry, I'll add a bit inbetwen to make things more saucy)

Things were hard for a while. Rose was sleeping in her room again. He’d known she would want to, but it didn’t sink in until he’d gone to his own bedroom and noticed that while the furniture hadn’t changed from its luxuriousness, all of Rose’s stuff was gone. Their morning tea stopped happening. Mickey was more comfortable with the ship, but it was kind of annoying when every other day he’d shriek at a new discovery, or fall into the anti-gravity room and have to be towed out. The Doctor tried to cut him more slack though, tried to stop being rude.

He was trying to talk to Rose again too. He must’ve brought it up four times in as many days, but she left, or insisted she wasn’t ready to talk about it. He didn’t get angry again, just sad.

The alternate universe was hard on Rose, what with Mickey leaving, and meeting a different version of her dad, and then losing the version of her mum. It was hard on the Doctor as well, with the Cybermen coming back from his nightmares, and so many people dying. It didn’t matter that they were from a different universe, they still died, and he still wished he’d been there to help.

While they were walking around the streets, just after they’d arrived, Rose had asked him about the Time Lords. Asked if there was another Gallifrey in this second universe. It was a beautiful idea, and there probably was another planet similar, but that didn’t mean the Time Lords would be there.

When the Time Lords were around, they could pass through to different universes whenever they wanted. There was lots of intermingling, it was wonderful. But everyone went back to their own homes when the Time War started, because it started in every universe, a fixed point, everywhere. When he’d ended it all, he’d ended it everywhere as well. He’d destroyed all the Gallifreys, all the Time Lords, and slammed shut the dimensions so that if there happened to be any universes where the Daleks had won, they couldn’t infect any of the places he’d saved.

In this universe, and every universe, he was alone.

Things between him and Rose had been so close to the breaking point for so long, that it was something absolutely stupid that finally did it. Rose found out he’d kissed Reinette.

He’d been rambling as though the tension wasn’t there, hoping it might make Rose more comfortable. They’d not been able to relax since the other universe, and Rose had been on a rampage, insistent on three planets a day, every day, and it was exhausting. So he rambled about needing a break, about how going to parties didn’t constitute a break when they went to 5 a night, about how he wished she’d seen that french party he’d gone to with Reinette, and then he said how at least they had a lot of good little alcoves in their halls for resting and snogging.

“What d’you mean snogging?” She’d been mostly ignoring him before, playing with the screen on the console and deciding where to go next. Now she was staring at him, and he blanked.

“W-well, I mean, um, kissing. They’re french, they do it quite a lot.” Suddenly he didn’t feel a need to talk much at all, and the Doctor sank into the jumpseat and busied himself with digging in his pocket for something very important, he just couldn’t remember what.

Rose was quiet for awhile, but after a minute she turned off the screen and stood in front of him, arms crossed. She was wearing a very cute blue cropped blouse that had to have a camisole underneath it to keep her stomach covered, and a pair of stonewashed jeans. He’d been eyeing her all day, wondering if she knew that was he favourite colour. “Doctor, did you kiss Reinette?”

The Doctor did nothing more than splutter. “What? Wh-why would you ask that?” His face felt very hot, but he couldn’t seem to look away. He didn’t know why he was so ashamed. At the time he’d basically been crowing about it, and it’s not like he and Rose were anything to each other, so he hadn’t done anything wrong. But guilt still ate away at him as he stared into Rose’s sparking brown eyes. “Um, yeah. Yeah I did. Couple of times, actually.”

She broke eye contact first and his shot to the grating immediately. Her voice was iron as she turned back to the console and muttered. “Right. ‘Course you did.”

“What’s that?” he asked. Weren’t they past this by now? But it felt like she was just winding him up, and it was bloody working.

Rose shook her head and shrugged, “Nothing, I’m just not surprised. Reinette was, lovely, it makes sense that you’d like her.”

He stood, crossing his own arms. “Yeah, she was lovely. She was brilliant, and I did like her. That a problem?”

Her laugh was cold, a word the Doctor never thought he would use to describe Rose. “No, why would there be? And you know, you sound just like the old you when you say that.”   
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m still him? He’s not the old me, he’s just me with a different face.” 

“Really though, is he? ‘Cus the old Doctor never would’ve snogged someone as pompous as Madame de Pompadour.” She seemed to reconsider and smiled emptily at him, “No wait, nevermind. I think you’re perfect for each other. She called me a child too.”

This wasn’t about Reinette at all. This was just Rose’s vicious way of finally getting into the conversation that’d been coming for ages. “You’re still angry about that? It’s been a month!”

Then they were just shouting. Both of them stood their ground, neither willing to give up an inch. He didn’t even know what he was saying, and nothing she was yelling back was registering. All the fury he’d been building up against her fought its way out in incoherent curses and complaints, while Rose screamed back every insult she had in her sailor’s vocabulary. It was all just noise, growing louder and louder until something he said rang out while she was taking another breath. 

“What?” she whispered. Her voice sounded hoarse already.

He paused for a moment to figure it out for himself and then he repeated it, “I said, ‘Am I allowed to kiss  _ you _ then?’ Because you clearly don’t like it when I do it with other people, and I know you told me why, but it’s been a month and all this time I’ve been trying to explain and you won’t let me! I haven’t touched you except when it’s your idea since that stupid hotel room, haven’t held your hand except to save your life, haven’t heard your voice in my head, and it’s driving me mad because I want to talk to you! I’ve tried and tried and you won’t bloody listen when all I wanted to say was I love you!”

The Doctor was heaving, and Rose was staring at him like he was an alien. His whole body deflated so that his voice came out very soft. “So can I kiss you now, or not? Because I’m dying from living like this. A bond isn’t supposed to be cut off for this long, and it hurts.”

She didn’t look like she was going to respond, but the Doctor was so tired of all the ick that’d been accumulating in his hearts that he stayed there. He needed an answer, and he was going to get it. “Yes.”

He’d dropped his gaze back to the floor, but at the word his head shot up. “Say that again.”

“Y-yeah, you can.”

He didn’t remember the steps between them, just the crash of his body against hers. The contact was glorious, and all of Rose’s walls crumbled, leaving him bathed in light and heat. He nearly forgot the kissing part, having got caught with his forehead pressed to hers, just like when they’d first started. He was drowning in how good it felt, when the urge to kiss her rose to the surface and he realized that this time he had permission. So he did. It was just a press of lips to lips, but it felt like he’d kissed a supernova. She was so soft and warm and bright and he’d missed her so much. The words were spinning in circles in his head, and then in her head, until the only thought between the two of them was an infinity of ‘I love you’s.

They were still, kissing chastly and holding each other close for minutes. They breathed through their noses and bounced back and forth between each others heads, clearing away the darkness that’d grown in the absence of one another and rebuilding their reserves. It was like spring cleaning for all the dark thoughts the Doctor had accumulated, and this time he wasn’t afraid to go find Rose’s as well. She was hiding away so much anger, and he immersed himself in it and forced it to dissipate, then found the burning places in her mind and soothed them with a cooling touch.

Finally an equilibrium was found. He was just as much a part of her, as she was of him, and he stopped feeling so scared of going back to reality. They pulled away at the same time, and the Doctor spoke. “I don’t know how to do this, please, please don’t be mad. I just need some time to get used to this again.” He could send her the context now, the things he didn’t know how to put into words. The urge to be close to her, but the fear of being too close, and the terror of messing it all up. He just wanted to go slow, so that he didn’t feel so much like he was jumping off a cliff.

Rose nodded, but pulled him in for another soft kiss. This time he giggled. He was kissing Rose Tyler. It felt like he’d slipped into another daydream. So he kissed her again, just to prove it was real. And then again, because she wanted him to. And then again, because he wanted to. A few more pecks just for good measure, and then they were both laughing too hard to do it anymore. Instead, the Doctor put an arm around Rose’s back, and another under her knee and swept her up into his arms. He’d seen the craving in the back of her mind, so he carried her to the library and dropped her onto the couch. “Tea! We need Tea.”

He left her there and went to the kitchen to brew some, but the whole way he was talking to her, venting all the idle thoughts and observations he’d had to keep to himself. She had plenty as well, and they poured them over each other. The chatter was heavenly compared to before, and he decided not to ever think about the before again. Every ten seconds, on the dot, he’d send another  _ I love you,  _ and she’d send one right back.

When he got back, she’d moved the couch against a bookshelf, and piled blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was a proper nest, and he set down the snacks and tea he’d brought on a side table, then joined her. They hugged, and the Doctor finally admitted how much he adored Rose’s pranditsy fruit, and she admitted to him that she’d picked it on a whim, but after he’d accidentally sniffed her hair one too many times she’d become devoted to it. Then he admitted all the other things he adored about her. It was all rushing out and he didn’t feel a need to stop. Her shimmery lip gloss, her purple bra, the mug she’d picked up for him that had a rose design on it just to be annoying, the way she looked when she slept, when she hummed that Gallifreyan song to him, dancing with her.

He was in heaven. He’d never really believed it existed, but laying next to Rose and nibbling on biscuits as he showered her in compliments and got to experience every ounce of joy it caused, he knew he’d finally arrived there.

Rose apologized too, though he’d told her a thousand times she didn’t need to. She still said she was sorry, for not letting him explain, for getting so angry at him, for making him follow all those rules and not giving anything back when she knew how hard it was for him without the bond.

She did know. He’d seen it while they were getting acquainted with each other, and when he asked, she admitted to it. “The Tardis told me, when I became the Bad Wolf. While she was in my head, the whole time she was talking to me, explaining things. She told me about how this bond, it’s like marriage to your people. That’s why I thought you knew, because I didn’t mean to hide it from you, didn’t realize you wouldn’t see it. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s been so long since I shared a bond with anyone, I barely even recognize those feelings in other people.” And he showed her his wife, his children, and grandchildren. All of them gone. On the same thought, he shared his other companions, the ones she’d never asked about, that he’d never had the courage to mention. 

Rose showed him Jimmy. It was one of those few locked doors she’d kept, and she opened it up for him. Jimmy Stone, with his earrings and out of tune guitar, and his promises to travel the world. He’d convinced her to move out of her mum’s, into his place, then promptly quit his job and left her to pay for everything. That was the real reason she’d dropped out of school. He’d kept promising, every time he brought his friends over and they played a bad cover of an old song, that they just needed to get a good gig, and then he’d be famous and he’d take her everywhere she wanted to go. Kyoto and Kuala Lumpur, San Francisco and Cusco. Places she never got to visit because he came home with a new girlfriend one day and kicked her out. 

She’d stayed at Mickey’s for over two weeks before he’d finally called her mum and forced them to make up. By then, she and Mickey just, were. No announcement, no dates, they were just together. He was relaxed, and nice, and when he said he’d meet her somewhere, he did. Rose didn’t know where the line was between them anymore, kissing him was as natural to her as hugging a brother, and losing him meant losing a part of her family.

Rose had been adamant about not falling asleep on the floor, but eventually their conversation had become entirely internal, and she slipped away as he explained the origins of the song she’d picked up from him. It was a bittersweet song about loving your home, and wishing you could go back to see it one more time before you died. He’d always hummed it before, but when he felt Rose falling asleep, he whispered a few lines of the Gallifreyan into her dreams.

It felt like he’d been laying with her for years, but once she was out, he drifted off in just a few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Was it worth it? I still have a surprise or two up my sleeve, but hey, gotta keep you reading somehow! <3 Much love to everyone who's made it this far.


	16. A Bit Inbetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm gonna need a bit of forgiveness. This is the most drawn out sex scene I've ever seen, let alone written. I actually completely rewrote it halfway through the first draft. Anyway, I hope it's alright. While technically this is an inbetween moment that you don't Need to read to understand the story, there are Tiny hints to important plot points intermingled with the smut.

“Rose.” She looked so sweet lying there, but the Doctor was too intrigued to let her continue sleeping. He’d been awake for 9 minutes and 23 seconds without moving. He was thinking, and had finally come to the conclusion that Rose needed to wake up so he could sate his curiosity. He’d considered it carefully, planned it out in his head, but nothing would compare to the real thing, and he needed Rose’s help. 

She mumbled something unintelligible and rolled into him, freezing once they were pressed together. “Um...hello.” her voice was barely a whisper, but he had no trouble hearing. He’d been focusing all his attention on her since the moment he opened his eyes and by now he couldn’t even register the flames crackling in the fireplace next to them. All he saw was pink lips, carefully defined eyebrows, and flushed cheeks from the heat. All he heard was the beat of her heart, and her calm intakes of breath. That is, until she moved into him, and he knew she felt what he’d been been feeling since waking.

He’d been feeling a lot. Warm, and happy, and curious. Slightly uncomfortable from sleeping fully dressed. And very hard. It was the reason he woke up, really. A small panic about her possibly noticing had pulled him out of his dream and he’d almost got up and left, until he remembered that she wouldn’t mind. At least, he hoped she wouldn’t mind. Because he’d also been feeling the soft skin of her stomach, marked by the tiniest stretch marks, and the curves of her hips. For once he didn’t have to feel guilty about touching her, and now he didn’t want to stop.

But he didn’t want her to wake up as confused as he had. He didn’t want to scare her, or make her leave. She didn’t seem to be leaving now, even though the evidence of his thoughts was clearly pressed to her abdomen, a sensation he was thoroughly enjoying. He smiled down at her a little, “Hello. This okay?”

Rose didn’t make eye contact with him, she just buried her face in his jacket and pushed a little closer. “Mmhm.” A good sign, that.

Testing, just a little, the Doctor moved the hand he’d had on her hip down between them and slipped a finger under the band on her jeans. “What about this?” She only nodded this time, and he removed his hand immediately. Instead he brought it up to her face and cupped her cheek. He guided her eyes up to his, “Really, Rose. I want to know this is okay. If you want, I can get up and leave and pretend none of this happened, but I’d much prefer to stay.”

She smiled at him, one of her perfect smiles that made it impossible not to grin back. “Trust me, Doctor, it’s okay. Anything and everything you might want to do is okay by me. I mean, I’ve been waiting years for this.”

“Me too.” He leaned down for a kiss, but there was still a bit of anxiety he couldn’t shake. “I just-can I kiss you?”

He didn’t want to ruin this. Everything was so perfect right this second, if he messed it up he’d never forgive himself. All the bonding in the world couldn’t make him more comfortable than the way she whispered, “Yes.” and pulled his lips to hers.

The kiss was much different from the day before. Almost immediately it wasn’t enough and he pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips until she let him in. She tasted wonderful, and he stroked the side of her tongue, the roof of her mouth, anywhere she would let him reach. He was so caught up in learning her mouth, he forgot how much he’d wanted to touch her until she pulled the hand he’d had on her cheek back down to her waistband. “That was a definite yes too.” she said, tugging her mouth away for a second. Only a second, because now he was sure of himself, he didn’t want to stop kissing her for the world.

He caught her lips again and sucked the bottom one into his mouth for a moment, before the taste of her skin distracted him. She didn’t seem to mind as he kissed and licked across her jaw down to her ear, but he asked anyway, “Is this okay?”

Her “Yes” was covered by a moan when his curiosity got the better of him and he nibbled on her earlobe. Oops. He’d had a plan, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember what it was. Everything in him was too stuck on pranditsy fruit and trying to find Rose’s natural taste underneath it all. 

The Doctor felt like an echo of Rose because each time one of his kisses made her whimper or groan or sigh, he found himself doing it right back. The sound of her pleasure was already far too good. He rocked against her, unable to decide if the feeling of his cock against both his trousers and her jeans was good or torturous.

Down he went, absentmindedly stroking that same patch of skin at her waist with his fingers over and over again, loving how she shivered. He was loving all of this. He loved her. It’d been far too long since he’d said it, and he whispered it through their connection so he wouldn’t have to stop licking her pulse point. She was shivering from it, and he was enjoying it far too much.  _ I love you _

She giggled at that, but again, it died when he sucked on the skin he’d been licking, curiosity reigning. He’d just wanted to see what it was like, but instead she gasped and groaned and he kept going until her whole body started shaking. When he pulled away with a small pop there was a dark red mark. “Sorry, I didn’t really think abou-” She’d dragged him into another kiss, reminding him of their session in the hotel. But this was better, because Rose chose to do this, she  _ wanted _ to do this with him, right here, right now.

At some point he’d rolled her onto her back, and shifted to lay above her, but he didn’t notice until his hand was stuck between them. That could wait, so he just removed it and used it to hold himself up. “Rose, could I, um, take off your shirt?”

“Let me do it, it’ll be faster.” Rose grinned at him, and while he was paused, trying to confront the fact that Rose was about to take her clothes off, she shoved him to the side and sat up. 

Rose had many talents, her charisma, her intuitiveness, her compassion, and apparently the ability to remove three layers of clothing in 15.6 seconds. He didn’t have a chance to appreciate each lost layer before she was naked from the waist up. The sight was enough to loosen some of his control, and he pressed her back down to the floor, straddling her.

He couldn’t decide on a place to start, so his kisses roamed from one spot to the other. From her mouth to her shoulder to her navel, and then to her breasts. Admittedly he’d touched her chest before, but it’d always either been on accident, or while he was sleeping and his traitorous hands had their way. They were softer than he’d imagined, without the bra covering them, and he kneaded one in his free hand.

It was obvious they weren’t the most sensitive spot on Rose’s body, but he liked them, which made him feel very human. The Doctor kissed down the path of her right breast, and on a whim he trailed his tongue in a circle around her nipple. The effect was instantaneous; Rose whined and jerked her hips under him. The pressure on his erection caught him offguard and he pushed down against her, groaning deeply. “Rose, is it okay if I make you, um.” He couldn’t think of a less clinical way to say orgasm, but Rose clearly understood.

“Yes, please.” Rose had been mostly passive for the experience, but now rather than using her body against him, she used her mind. A wave of heat washed over the Doctor and he pushed down again.  _ Oh! _ She did it again, and the Doctor’s eyes fell closed at the feeling. By the time he’d controlled the urge to grind against her until he finished, oh, finished was a good word, Rose had unbuttoned his shirt and had his jacket halfway off his shoulders.

It was pretty hot in the room, at least, he thought it was the room, so the Doctor sat up and pulled them off altogether, leaving himself in just an undershirt. Not good enough for Rose apparently, who tugged it up under his arms until he removed it as well. Now they were even, and before the Doctor could even get embarrassed Rose had rolled the both of them to the side and switched their positions, somehow shifting their legs so he was between hers now.

Lying underneath a half naked Rose, nestled between her legs was the best place in the entire universe. No need to go searching now, he’d found it. She’d found the perfect angle between them, and when she ground down on him his hands shot to her hips. “Rose! Uhngg.” It had been too long, and the Doctor really didn’t want to ruin his trousers, but it took a couple rotations of her hips for him to get the willpower to hold her still. This was very, very different from the few times he’d taken care of himself in the shower. Then he’d known exactly how each thing he did would feel, and when it would happen. With Rose, every touch was a surprise that made pure ecstacy coil in his stomach.

“I wanted to, uh, finish you actually.” When had he started gasping? But Rose leaned down onto him and kissed him, and he was on fire. Rose was so hot, so much hotter than she should have been, right? But she looked fine, and she felt amazing, and surely it was just the fire next to them and the blankets they’d been sleeping on. Humans already had much warmer skin than Time Lords, but it felt like Rose’s body was trying to fix him so he was hot like a human. It was working.

It was Rose’s turn to wander, apparently, and the Doctor felt ridiculously jumpy. He didn’t realize how intense arousal would be with skin as sensitive as his, but each stroke of Rose’s hands left brands on him, and each time she kissed his chest he moaned. He would be embarrassed of how much noise he was making if it didn’t seem to be turning Rose on. He was being rewarded for every sound with yet more kisses. If he didn’t do something, it was going to consume him, he knew it. “Rose, Rose please.” he panted. “Please, I want this to be for you.” Nevermind that he was slightly terrified of how good he was feeling. 

“But I’m having fun. God, Doctor, I knew you liked to talk but I didn’t realize how loud you were during sex.” Sex? They were having sex! Wait, wait!

He jerked up into a sitting position, and now he was holding Rose in his lap. Not much better of a situation, but at least she’d stopped kissing him. “R-Rose, I don’t know if I’m... Well, that is to say, I don’t know if I want to, um...Can I just do you for now? I mean, just focus on you?” His hearts were beating much too fast for the situation, but he’d lost control of them a long time ago. They were pounding in his head as well, and he didn’t realize how much of his fear had passed through to Rose until she held his face in both hands.

“Hey, okay. That’s fine by me. We’ll take our time, yeah?” She pressed soft kisses to his lips, and his cheeks, and then one to his nose that made him laugh.

He started again, kissing her slowly and thoroughly, then moving to her neck. Between each new step he waited until he could breathe properly before going forward. Rose helped, easing the tightness in his chest by whispering to him, reassuring him that she liked what he was doing. He hadn’t realized how frightening the idea of real intimacy would be.

It’d been a couple centuries since the last time he’d done anything more intimate than a decent hug with anyone besides Rose. Except Reinette, whom he didn’t want to think about. The Doctor was still ashamed of everything he’d done with Reinette, and the more he remembered her, the less she seemed to have respected him. Not enough to be kind to Rose and not enough to leave him his privacy. All those doors he kept locked in his head, she just walked through them and made judgements on his past. He’d been so excited to be around someone who wanted to touch him he hadn’t cared at the time, but Rose would never have done that to him. Rose cared too much. Rose loved him. 

Rose was watching him, letting him think. Letting him go as slowly as he needed to, because she wanted him to be just as comfortable as she was. His thoughts focused back onto her, and now he knew exactly how far he wanted to go. “Can you take off your jeans?”

She did, moving much slower this time, and only partly because of how tight the jeans were on her. She let him help, and he tugged them off her ankles, grateful they’d at least remembered to remove their shoes before sleeping. He could have sworn she was glowing, but his mouth was watering and he chose to focus on removing her pants as well instead. He refused to look at her until he’d slipped the simple cotton underwear off her and let it join her jeans on the floor. Then he couldn’t stop looking at her. He’d never seen anything more beautiful in all the galaxies he’d visited. He could watch supernovas and gaseous colour storms for the next thousand years and still say with complete honesty that Rose was the most amazing thing he’d laid eyes on.

Every curve, every freckle, and she did have a couple hidden away that he never would have seen before, he wanted to kiss everything. After a quick glance at her face, which she responded to with a nervous smile and a nod, he kneeled between her and kissed the side of her knee. Then he spoke quietly, punctuating each word with a kiss further down. “You-are-absolutely-bloody-gorgeous-Rose-Tyler.”

His last kiss landed on the curls between her legs, and there he found Rose’s scent. Not a trace of praditsy, just Rose and her arousal. It was intoxicating, and with an almost distressed groan he dragged his tongue down in a small stripe. Rose gasped and whimpered and both her hands jumped to curl in his hair and when she tugged it he moaned, just like he had on the couch.

Most of his mental faculties turned off at that moment, so when Rose’s whispered “Fuck.” reached his ears he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“How about we save that for tomorrow?” He almost didn’t recognize his voice. It was rough and slightly muffled by the fact that he still had his face buried in her curls. Rose didn’t seem to mind how different he sounded, but that might have been because after he finished talking he brought his hand up and carefully stroked her center. He was a little clueless about how best to make Rose feel good, but he wanted to try. After a few strokes, he replaced his fingers with his tongue and it seemed to make a big difference to Rose, whose breathy grunts got much louder. 

At the very top was a small bundle of nerves, and when he sucked on it her whole body jerked upward. Extremely pleasant to have caused, but Rose laughed a little, “Not quite so much, Doctor. Not yet.” He settled for small flicks of the tip of his tongue that caused her to twitch instead of jump. 

At the back of his mind, the Doctor remembered that this was exactly what he’d started this experience planning to do, but the thing he needed Rose to help with was telling him how to do it properly. At the same time as he realized this, Rose began to babble a little. Maybe she was more nervous than she’d let on. “Doctor, could you, do more? With- _ oh _ -with your hand I mean- _ fuck _ .”

Keeping his tongue working the nerves, he starting stroking a path along the rest of her with his fingers again, dipping the tiniest bit into her with every trip. “More, more more, please.” He’d never been able to say no, so he pressed one finger in, little by little until it was a far as it would go, and he pumped it in and out. It was then that he realized a fountain of knowledge he’d been completely ignoring. 

Rose’s mind. What better way to please her than by finding what she liked in her head? It was much easier to talk through their connection than out loud at the moment, so he peered into her thoughts,  _ What do you want me to do? _

She was very detailed, and the Doctor adjusted his ministrations accordingly. He added another finger to her, and pumped faster, and ran his tongue in circles around her clit rather than just prodding it. And for a while she just basked in it, and he listened to the words that spun around and around in her head.  _ Yes-Doctor-fuck-please. _

He didn’t know what she was asking for, so he sped everything up just a little bit, and Rose’s legs tensed on either side of him. Her shudders were getting stronger, and she was tugged and twisting, tangling her fingers in his hair and it felt  _ so good _ . He could feel her pleasure, and it fed into his own, which had lagged only slightly as he tried to get used to Rose’s needs.

It took a moment for him to shift himself upward a little more, but he draped one of Rose’s knees over his shoulder, and once he had his balance, he pressed his now free hand to his crotch. Any kind of friction was amazing, but his trousers were terribly uncomfortable and he undid the button and had unzipped them before noticing his own actions. “Rose, is it okay if I?” He sent her a mental picture, and she began nodding rapidly, too focused on his fingers inside her to give a clear response. Her mind went slightly distant, as she lost herself in sensations, and he put his mouth back to work while he pulled his cock from his own pants and started stroking.

He’d been leaking in his pants, but it made each slide smooth and he moaned into Rose, causing another shudder. He followed her with his thoughts, and immersed himself in her internal sighs and pleading for him to  _ never stop, that, exactly that.  _ She was spiraling up, and he was spiraling down, and his fingers and tongue and hand were all working at the same pace. He found himself a lot closer to the edge than he thought he should have been as Rose’s muscles tightened around him, and he imagined being inside her properly next time, and the only word that came to mind was  _ Fuck _ .

Rose heard him, and echoed it back.  _ Fuck _ . 

_ Next time, I promise _ and then he was too far gone for full sentences, and so was she. 

She finished first, but even if he hadn’t been completely ready, he felt her orgasm as strongly as if it were his own, and it pushed him into another. As everything went white, he only managed to get out, “Rose, I-” Rose’s thighs had closed around his head, and although his hands stuttered as he followed her into an orgasm, he tried to keep going, albeit slower, easing them both down. 

Finally her legs fell to the floor, and the Doctor slowly pulled away from her. Between the two of them they’d pretty much ruined the blanket they’d been laying on. His body was basically screaming at him to lay down, but there was one more thing he wanted to do. 

Lifting his trousers back up, but not bothering to zip them, he smiled at Rose’s form. She was splayed out on their little nest, completely boneless, and looking as though she would fall asleep any moment. “I’ll be right back.” The Doctor headed out into the hall and to his bedroom, where he grabbed a cloth from his ensuite and wetted it with hot water. After cleaning himself up and switching to a pair of sweats, he wet it again and returned to the library. He’d have thought she was asleep if she weren’t smiling like the cat that got the cream. He kneeled at her side, and softly swiped the cloth over the inside of her thigh. She jumped at the sudden wetness, but relaxed when he did it again. With careful brushes he cleaned her up, then tugged the blanket from underneath her. It took a few awkward wiggles from her, but he managed to remove it and roll it up into a ball that he tossed into the wire basket sitting next to the door.

A perfect shot. Everything was clean now, and if he really wanted to, he could just curl up with Rose again, but it’d been a long time since he’d shared a real bed with Rose and he missed her terribly. Before Rose could protest, he scooped her up into his arms, rose to stand, and carried her completely naked back to his room. She opened her eyes then, but didn’t bother trying to wiggle away from him and just nuzzled her nose into his chest. She was less than pleased when he dropped her on the bed unceremoniously, but he tackled her down and pulled the covers up over them.

There was an unusual clarity in his mind, where there should have been exhaustion, or schedules, or lists. All that mattered was asking, “How long are you going to stay with me?” It was the most dangerous, painful question he could have come up with, but something inside him was telling him he would like the answer she gave. 

“Forever.” The surety of her response was absolute, both in her tone of voice and in her mind. To her, it was a fixed point. Even as Rose drifted to sleep, she was so utterly certain of what she said that the Doctor teared up. He didn’t know what he ever could have done to deserve her trust, but he felt like a wound he didn’t know he had, had been stitched shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that sometimes commenting on sex scenes can be hard, but I'd appreciate if you guys could tell me if you thought I was too vague, or not vague enough, or anything that could be improved. There's sure to be more of them, and I don't want anyone suffering their way through them to get to the rest of the story, so help me get better! :)
> 
> Also, I should probably tell you guys that I started writing this fic as I fell into a major depressive episode, which I'm currently dealing with. I'm fine, I promise, I've just been neglecting literally all of my responsibilities in order to work on this, which is why in the span of two weeks I've written almost 47k. With this chapter out, this fic is officially longer than my actual novel I worked on for 4 years. It's amazing what being depressed can do for your writing abilities sometimes. Anyway, I'm just telling you so you don't get confused if my updates slow down a little. I'm in college right now, and finals are coming up, and if I fail them my entire life will have to be readjusted to fix it. I hope I still have your guys' support. <3


	17. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, here's a big one. Hope it was everything you thought it would be. As always, let me know how I did, what you thought, and how much you hate/love me in the comments.
> 
> Unbeta'd: All mistakes are entirely the fault of my romance addled brain.
> 
> Rating: Mature, for implications of sexual content

The Doctor was shy. He couldn’t help it; despite the wonderful time he’d had with her in the library, intimacy was new and confusing and he was lost. Touching Rose was frustrating because he didn’t know if he was sending the right signals, or leading her on, or if she even wanted to touch him at all. 

She kept telling him yes, kept insisting what he was doing was okay, but that didn’t mean he should. While he couldn’t possibly regret anything they’d done and he couldn’t imagine changing his mind about being with her, he found himself wondering if he shouldn’t have gone a little slower.

Rose thought it was kind of funny, when he tried to explain. What was slower than three years together without a proper kiss? She didn’t understand that by his standards, by his lifespan, he could easily spend twenty years with her before feeling like it was appropriate to start kissing her. Of course, he’d spend the entire time aching for it because his body was now set to Rose’s perception of time, but still. To him, their relationship felt almost like sleeping together on the first date would to Rose.

He didn’t want her to think that was what he wanted. The Doctor wanted the forever Rose promised him, wanted to pretend for as long as possible. He wanted to woo her, to romance her, to make her feel as wonderful and good as she did for him. Rose deserved the universe, and he intended to give it to her.

Unlike what he’d expected, Rose didn’t complain for quite a while. Normally she was so vocal about things that bothered her, or things she wanted. Every morning she would walk in the console room and declare exactly what she wanted to do, be it a spa day, an adventure, shopping, or just seeing something new. But she didn’t say a word about him.

When he held her in bed the morning after the library, thinking himself into a frenzy until she woke up, he couldn’t bring himself to look her in the face when her eyes finally blinked open. The Doctor buried his face in her shoulder and whispered to her, “I’m really sorry, I know I said...I know I said I wanted to-” Unable to continue he sent her the promise he’d made the night before. “I’m sorry, but I’m not quite ready to do that yet. Could we, could we slow down again? Could I try again?”

“Yes.” As always, Rose forgave him. She sent him nothing but love, and he knew now it was love, and reassurances and calm. They spent a couple hours in his room, talking and sharing, and she never once hinted at how disappointed she was. He knew she had to be, but she hid it really well.

To make up for turning her down, the Doctor began his wooing. He took her to the most romantic places he could, and this time he could admit they were supposed to be romantic. This time he could kiss her under the purple skies and shooting stars, and tell her how they paled in comparison to her. Their banter was now peppered with kisses and tickles and hugs that were somehow even better than before.

It went on for a few weeks before Rose finally started to seem antsy. He loved kissing her before they fell asleep, whispering one last “I love you, sweet dreams”. Soon her returning kisses became more heated, more thorough. It was nice, and the Doctor was happy to enjoy them, until her hand started to drift downward. Then he had to stop her, press his lips to her forehead or cheekbones, and ask for just a little more time. She always did, always backed away and gave him space that he usually abandoned in the middle of the night in order to cuddle her close. Then they did it in the morning, and when she backed away, it was to the dresser to get changed and they would go make breakfast.

Distracting her didn’t work very well, for either of them. As much as he wanted to wait, after his scare in 1953 when Rose lost her face, he’d nearly gotten her skirt off against the Tardis door before he came back to his senses. She’d been understanding, but he knew the ice was going to start thinning soon if he wasn’t careful.

The scares kept happening; Rose would get lost on a planet going through a revolution, or he’d end up in jail for the night, and when they got back to the Tardis, things got intense. They’d get halfway through the undressing portion and then either his nerves or his common sense would get in the way and they would stop. He noticed Rose never tried to stop him coming onto her, as though she knew it was only a matter of time before he gave in. He knew it too, so for a while he tried to tone down the adventures.

That was how they ended up on a planet orbiting a black hole. He’d wanted a random planet, but there had been parameters! Safe landing, human inhabitants, resources nearby. Technically Krop Tor met them all, but it also had the stuff of nightmares hidden in its core. He’d seen so many things, but Krop Tor was the first time in a long time he questioned his faith in logic. 

He never realized that logic was his religion. Everything had rules, everything had limits. That was how the world made sense to him. If it didn’t fit his rules, it either didn’t exist or it was broken and needed fixed. He thought himself so openminded, but when the voice taking over the speakers spoke of living before time itself, he’d balked. Not possible. Must be a lie. Even seeing the beast below had made all his most basic beliefs shriek ‘Ilusion, lie, mirage, it must be fake!’

The Doctor found a new faith. A faith in Rose. She was trapped on a rocket that carried the voice of all fear that would soon be sucked into a black hole, and he was going to send her there. Because it didn’t matter if the odds were impossible. Logic wasn’t important. The only important thing was that Rose would be okay. Whether or not the Doctor could reach her in time, Rose would be okay because that was who she was. He didn’t need logic, only Rose. He believed in her, above all else. 

That was the closest the Doctor had gotten to taking Rose to bed. That was the first time Rose stopped him. As she ran onto the ship and into his arms, he was already figuring out the best way to remove his spacesuit and her pants in the shortest amount of time possible. He could get it done in no less than one minute, 46 seconds. He’d only just started to kiss her when she pulled away and backed up a step.

“Doctor, I can kind of guess where this is heading, but could we just watch a movie instead? I’m still kinda, well, shaky.” She was. When she reached up a hand to brush some hair behind her ear he could see her fingers trembling. He got the spacesuit off in 36 seconds, and spend the rest of the estimated time walking her to the cinema room. They’d watched the Harry Potter movies, or he had. Rose fell asleep next to him halfway through the third, and he’d finished the rest because he wanted to be awake in case she needed him.

He needed to try harder to take her on more relaxed trips, for both their sakes.

They ended up chasing a monster through doorways in an abandoned warehouse and there was this incident with blue buckets versus not-blue buckets that only ended them up in the shower together, covered in goo. It’d been nice, and Rose had certainly enjoyed him washing her hair, until the Doctor pointed out that he really did need to finish showering and go label the buckets for future reference. Neither of them had been happy about it, but he just...wasn’t ready. However often his body tried to argue with him, his brain still knew it wasn’t time.

Then Rose’d gotten a phone call and they had to come racing back to Earth. Someone had upset Jackie, and having experienced the consequences before, the Doctor pitied whatever poor soul had audacity to upset Rose’s mum. It hadn’t ended as badly as he’d thought, at least, not the Jackie part of it. That man’s girlfriend though, the Doctor wished he could have done more.

Jackie hadn’t noticed the difference in them. Though whether that was good or not was debatable. He was happy he wasn’t going to get a smack, or another lecture about taking care of Rose. The Doctor and Jackie were on exactly the same wavelength in that regard. But it made him feel a little guilty, that he had been so clearly in love with Rose to everyone else, but he’d been holding back from her the whole time. She’d been in love with the Doctor, and he’d been head over heels for her, but she had to listen to him correct every stranger they walked by about them decidedly  _ not _ being in a relationship.

It didn’t matter that he’d thought it was what she wanted, he still felt bad she’d had to go through it. But it seemed no one had listened to him anyway, because they all still called him her boyfriend, her man, hers, and when he didn’t correct them anymore they didn’t bat an eye. 

He secretly liked being called Rose’s. As much as his whole body tingled when people called Rose his, it was the opposite that made his hearts thump faster. So many things belonged to him, so many awful acts, and useless items, and frivolous deceiving names. It was nice to belong to someone else for a change. On more practical note, it was easier to blend in as her boyfriend. When they were on the estate, visiting all Rose’s friends and relaxing, or in the Doctor’s case fidgeting, in bars with Shareen and Doris and Mariza and their partners, it was nice not to have to explain his name. Shareen just introduced him as ‘Rose’s man’, and the tipsy women didn’t bother asking. 

Being around her friends had made the nerves worse though. Rose’d ended up pulling him to a back hall just to ask him what was wrong out loud instead of sending him a message. He hadn’t realized, but he’d stopped touching her altogether, too worried about crossing a line or making someone mad to feel safe putting his arm around her. 

Before he’d regenerated he’d had the same problem, but that was because people actually gave him dirty looks. All he’d done was hold Rose’s hand, but apparently he hadn’t been subtle then either because he received scoffs and glares anytime they went somewhere more posh than a chip shop. He’d looked too old apparently, and people didn’t like him being cozy with 19 year old Rose. He could almost understand, but at the time he’d still been so angry, and her touch was all that made him feel better, and he’d just held her tighter and returned their glares until they backed down.

Maybe now he was more of a coward than before. He still expected the looks, but now he couldn’t even summon the spite to hold her anyway. So he’d distanced himself from her, unconsciously. It fell apart when Rose pointed it out. Her eyes were glassy and he pulled her into a hug and a kiss that left no doubt in any passerby’s mind about their relationship. For Rose, he could be brave, but she didn’t ask him to be.

She filtered through his worries, and ended up sighing, asking only that he treat her the way he had before they got together. She didn’t expect him to kiss her in front of others, or do anything intimate, but holding her hand was a given and hugs were appreciated. He did his best, even sliding an arm around her waist on their way back to the table. The blush she adopted when he left it there as they sat down made it completely worth it.

So they kept it up. In public he was a little more sparing with his affections, but he always made up for it when they got back to the Tardis, or any private space. Kisses felt more acceptable as they went on, and the Doctor was comfortable doing it for as long as she wanted. He could tell it amused her to no end when she was the one pushing away, leaving him panting slightly and adjusting his coat across his body for a while.

It was just after the Olympics that Rose turned his life upside down. 

He’d been trapped, totally dependant on Rose to save him and he knew, he  _ knew _ she would. It seemed she hadn’t been so sure. When they returned to the Tardis, he felt so relaxed after the party it was a complete surprise when Rose was the one backing him against the console. They kissed, which was as always bloody wonderful, but she began to remove his clothes, and while he felt like a complete hypocrite, he stopped her almost immediately. When he tugged her hands away from his shirt and kissed her forehead she burst into tears, and the Doctor was sure the single sheet of ice he’d been skating across finally broke.

It’d taken so long, he’d rejected her so many times, Rose was done with him. He’d ruined it because he was so bloody cowardly. So he kissed her again, put her hands back on his chest and decided that it was time he started being brave for her and showing her how much she meant to him in the way she clearly wanted. It wasn’t like he didn’t want it, he was desperate for it.

For a while it worked. He led her to the bedroom and they both got down to their underwear, then Rose started crying again. When he checked her mind there was so much fear he nearly fell over. Any thoughts of sex fled and he grabbed the nearest soft blanket and wrapped it around her. Cuddling her close and ignoring how underdressed he was, the Doctor reclined against the pillows with Rose’s head on his chest and waited until she could manage words.

“I thought you were gone for good. Everyone else came back, but I couldn’t find you and I never even told you-” She cut herself off with a sob, so the Doctor let her cry through the next wave before he nudged her with his mind, offering anything she needed.

Her psyche leaned on his, and he took a few moments to pull another blanket up over them and scoot them down further in the bed. He could tell she wanted tea, but when he tried to get up and get some her grip on his waist turned to iron. No moving then, that was okay with him. Leaving her sight right now felt awful anyway. Instead he found a lull in her tears and whispered, “Rose, what did you want to tell me that you haven’t already?”

He was abysmal at this. Comforting was hard, and all he knew how to do was hug. His words induced another small fit and he mumbled apologies as he petted her hair. If he had to admit it, he was a little scared too. What could possibly have upset Rose so much? They’d shared everything, hadn’t they? The only thing he couldn’t bring himself to tell Rose about was the Time War, what exactly he’d done to his people. That, and his name.

What had Rose felt the need to keep from him?

The Tardis was always a comforting presence in the Doctor’s mind. He’d been with her for so long, he barely noticed her there anymore except when she wanted his attention. She was a part of him, just as Rose had become a part of him. As Rose broke down in his arms, the Tardis’ sentience got stronger and stronger until it became a physical pressure in his head. It whispered emotions, worry, reassurance, it was urging him on, pushing him to something, but he didn’t know what.

Rose thumped her head repeatedly against the Doctor’s chest, like she was trying to knock something out of it.  _ Back off! _ He nearly shouted it in his head at the Tardis. She wasn’t trying to push him, she was yelling at Rose and it was so loud it’d leaked through to his thoughts. He didn’t need the extra contact, but the Doctor placed his fingers against Rose’s temple anyway and began to push the Tardis out. Rose was having enough problems, why was the Tardis doing this?

Her skin was heating up, literally beginning to burn the Doctor’s fingers. He yanked the blankets off her, but it made no difference. “Rose, what’s wrong?” However much he shoved at the Tardis’ conscience it wasn’t going away. Like punching water, it just displaced into other areas. It was bright and golden, like Rose’s mind, but intertwined were pure white strands that made the hair on the Doctor’s arms stand on end just by him being aware of them.

It was too hot, far too hot to be safe, but when the Doctor slid out of bed and began pulling Rose to him, intending to put her in a cool shower or bath or anything to get her temperature down, his hands sparked on her skin and he jumped back. 

Rose was glowing. This time there was no pleasure induced haziness to explain it away, no plans or danger to distract from it. She was humming with energy, and her tears were evaporating before they made it down her cheeks.

The Bad Wolf was back.

The Doctor fell against the wall, terrified and not ready to die again, but willing to save Rose’s life if he had to. He muttered frantically, scanning the room and the Wolf for any reason, any explanation. “How? How? How!”

The Wolf got up. It slid off the bed and stood in front of him and looked down at itself, as though it was surprised to be there too. When it spoke he expected the thousand voices that had sung to him the first time, not Rose. “It’s okay.”

“No! It’s not okay, it’s nowhere near okay! Rose, how did this happen?” She was still there then, still fighting. He had to get it out of her, but she stuck a hand out and held him back with blazing golden eyes.

There was no pain on her face, like before. No tremor in her voice when she spoke. “Doctor, really. It’s just me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I didn’t know how. I was so scared.” Rose blinked at him, and the golden light faded away to her normal honey brown irises.

Her voice changed as she continued, it echoed like the night the Tardis had spoken through her about her improved telepathy. Rose was simply a speaker, an instrument for the shimmering purity of the Tardis. “She promised you forever long before she said it out loud. I made good on her promise. Time is fickle, species are fickle. An expansion of the mind and an extra heart and now she is yours. Given out of love, hidden out of fear. Rose Tyler will hide no longer.”

Just as he opened his mouth to argue, to make fun, to laugh because Rose didn’t have two hearts, he heard it. Ever aware of Rose’s internal functions, her breathing, her pulse, her bloody digestion, his ears tuned in when her entire body shifted just slightly. Rose’s heartbeat doubled, not in pace, but in quantity. “What did you do to Rose?” his voice broke on her name, and he covered his mouth before he could vomit from the shame of how she’d been violated.

“Nothing she did not ask for, nothing you do not deserve. Go together.” Rose’s body dulled, and the glow disappeared altogether. The Doctor slid down to the floor and felt the temperature of the room drop down to normal levels, then an extra couple degrees. Rose had gone cold. Like the Doctor. Like a…

Rose collapsed to the carpet, panting and clutching at her chest and stomach and then at her head. The Doctor watched. Even her mind felt different, what little of it he could get to. She had barriers now.

However strong Rose’s telepathy had become, the guards on her mind could best be described as walls. They were built up, brick by brick, and if someone hit hard enough, they would collapse. It was impressive for her to have managed that much as a human.

Now. Now she had barriers. Seamless shields that slid up effortlessly, instinctually, and couldn’t be penetrated by anything less than a master of mental invasion. The only species that had guards like that-

She whimpered, and the Doctor’s body reacted before his mind. He crawled over to her and wrapped himself around her, pulling her into his lap and rubbing soothing hands over her belly and up her arms. Her first words after she calmed down, “I’m in my bra and pants still, aren’t I?”

“And I’m in my pants as well.” he chuckled. She sounded so normal, still like Rose. Was she? “Please, I need to understand. What happened?”

Rose tucked her knees up to her chest, forcing the Doctor to shift his legs. They went off balance a little, and the Doctor ended up leaning against the wooden frame of his bed. She mumbled at first, voice rising as she grew more confident. “I didn’t mean to hide it. I was just scared that you’d be angry. I told you before that when I was the Bad Wolf, the Tardis explained things to me. Not just about the bonding, but about everything. About how she watched you flying around with all your companions, but each time one of them left you got more angry, more hurt. I want to stop that from happening again, and the Tardis told me I could if I-If I became a-I’m sorry. I really am. I should have told you.” She was frantic now, and she turned around to face him, climbing over him to straddle his thighs and holding onto his shoulders. He could feel how cool her body temperature was on his skin. Still slightly warmer than him, but unnaturally cool for a human. “She said it would take time to prepare me, and I was supposed to tell you ages ago and then she’d make it so you could tell. But I couldn’t, and she got impatient.”

Tentative thoughts branched off from her and probed his mind, finding the question he felt too sick to ask. “Doctor, of course I’m still me! It’s just like when you regenerated, my body’s a bit different, but it’s all still me!” He couldn’t respond, couldn’t force his eyes to stop scanning, seeing, and cataloguing all the differences. Her hair density had changed, her eyes were brighter and pupils slightly smaller than they should have been in the soft lighting of his room. She looked healthier, more hydrated and pinker and softer.

He didn’t know what or how to feel or think. Question after question came unbidden to the forefront of his mind and they passed just as quickly. Rose was skimming them, pulling information from him, and when she found one of the worst questions he’d come up with, she let go of his shoulders. “Nothing. Nothing else. You can look, please look. Nothing else! This was it, it was all I had left to hide because I was scared that this would happen! This exactly, you angry and hating me.”

She shifted to get up, but the Doctor rocked forward, separating his legs under her and dropping her into the hollow of his lap so she couldn’t escape. He wrapped his arms around her chest under her arms and pressed on the back of her head until their foreheads connected. Brisk and thorough, he scanned. She was telling the truth. No more locked doors remained. Rose’s entire mind was clear and available to him. If he ever fell so far down that he wanted to, he could even watch her memories of making love to Jimmy Stone.

“Promise me you wanted this.” he croaked. His throat was itchy and aching, and his eyes were watering. Either he was having an allergy attack, or he was about to burst into tears and he knew exactly which one it was. 

Rose nodded emphatically and squeezed the Doctor’s shoulders. “More than anything. I’m going to be with you forever, I mean it. There’s nothing you can do now to stop me.”

Finally, he broke. His head dropped from Rose’s forehead to her shoulder and it was her turn to hold him while he cried. He hugged her, squeezing her as close as she could be, and tried to cope with everything running through his mind. Between sobs he babbled, “You’ve skipped so much-that was regeneration energy-it built you your second heart” In a delirium he even laughed, “You put yourself on a slow heat and simmered until you were done cooking” And on, and on, until his voice was hoarse.

The Doctor looked up at Rose Tyler when his tears had dried and he whispered words that terrified him, and filled him with more hope than he’d felt since before the war.

“Rose, you’re a Time Lord.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? What'd you think?   
> Up next is a little bit of tinkering. Come on, you knew it was coming. I recognize the canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.


	18. Chapter 12-Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the things I do for you lot. This has gotta be the most research intensive chapter I've ever written. And that includes the time I spent 2 hours looking up how much a set of oxen would have cost in the year 1547. This chapter is massive, and the next one will be as well, so I'm breaking them both into two parts. That's four fix-it sections available to you in the near future. I hope you enjoy it. I'm sorry that it's not quite as thought intensive, but as always, when I'm writing for a specific episode, things tend to get lost in translation or slimmed down just a bit to try and keep up with the necessary dialogue.
> 
> Reminder: While this chapter includes quotes from specific episodes of 'Doctor Who', I do not lay claim to that trademark. I'm just borrowing it for a love story.
> 
> Unbeta'd: There's probably going to be some mistakes, please go easy on me.
> 
> Rating: Teen & Up

This wasn’t something they could wait on, but Rose insisted. The Doctor’s first instinct was to take her home and beg forgiveness from Jackie, but Rose wanted tests. It was like they’d switched bodies.

The change hadn’t affected Rose’s personality, or her intuition, but it had expanded her mind exponentially. As Rose explained it, she wanted to take full advantage of the new storage capacity.

He was still in shock, still trying to process. He jumped every time he forgot about Rose’s double hearts and she came in the room, or when she grabbed his hand unexpectedly with fingers much colder than he was used to. It had been so long since he’d been near another Time Lord, or as Rose preferred ‘Time Lady’. It’d made him giggle when she said it. Rose Tyler, a proper Lady by the most literal of definitions.

So he did as the Lady asked, and ran the tests. Blood tests, brain scans, double heart monitors. Each result that came up on the screen, he explained. Her increased bone density and resiliency of skin cells made her resistant to falls, cuts, extreme temperatures. Her metabolism had nearly tripled, yet become efficient enough that her nutrition needs wouldn’t increase unless she was injured. Her need to sleep was reduced to nearly nothing. Like him, an hour a night would keep her moving, four or five would keep her in top shape.

She still insisted on a full eight. Rose claimed to still be tired with only the five, but the Doctor knew it was just nostalgia. Who she was, that would always be the same, but what she was had irreversibly shifted.

The Doctor was slowly falling in love with it. Of course he was anxious, terrified really, about Rose having changed her species to spend forever with him. But it was undeniably wonderful. He wasn’t alone. He hadn’t been truly alone since he first held Rose’s hand in the basement of Henrik’s, but now he would never be alone again. There was another Time Lord in the universe, and she wanted to be with him. He never had to worry about her growing old and him having to say goodbye. He could take her so many more places that had been off limits to her human body.

They spent two weeks waiting to visit Rose’s mother while the Doctor taught Rose about her new body. How to use it to her advantage, the dangers of it. He explained to her the weakness so few knew about, the nerve center in a Time Lord or Lady’s left shoulder. Too heavy a hit in that spot could disable them. Aspirin was completely deadly to them as well, even one pill was enough. When they were too severely injured to keep going, but not injured enough to regenerate, they would go into a healing coma like the one he’d entered after his regeneration.

Some things about being a Time Lord were downright fun to Rose. Her respiratory bypass made her float much easier in the pool, and she could stay underwater for minutes at a time, leading her to beg for an ocean to go diving in. Rose loved not having to brush her teeth anymore, and laughed when the Doctor pointed out he still did it, just because he enjoyed how fresh it made him feel. Being able to stop being drunk if she needed to made Rose much more excited about visiting bars while they were traveling, though the Doctor had nearly regenerated from laughter when Rose tried ginger beer and then got pissed from the next four shots of hypervodka she downed.  He’d had to bring her two cups of tea and some non-toxic pain relievers before she was willing to leave bed the next morning.

Other things were not so fun. The Doctor realized very quickly that Rose had none of the social mannerisms of the Time Lords, especially after she made a rather pointed comment about him while she was helping him maintain the Tardis’ time rotors. She’d been leaning over him to grab a part, and the clothing she’d chosen for the day wasn’t exactly the most modest. Almost immediately she’d taken a deep breath and stared down at him.

“What’s that smell?” Rose set the couplets down that she’d been digging for in the tool box and moved back to her kneeling position, taking another breath.

The Doctor cringed, immediately recognizing what she was clearly picking up on. Not wanting to go into it, he just shrugged. “I don’t smell anything. Couplets, please.”

But Rose was not going to be discouraged. She turned her head from side to side, sniffing, then focused on him. “You smell like...sex.” Already her pupils were dilated, and she smirked at him, tugging him out from under the console. “Wanna explain?”

It was awkward, but necessary. “Rose, you should know, there’s certain things-well, it’s like this you see. Um, you remember how I told you we can control certain parts of our bodies? Heart rate, breathing, stuff like that? Well, one thing we definitely can’t control, is pheromones.”

The look Rose gave him immediately made his face heat a couple degrees. “Rose, it’s not what you think. Really, I just-it just happens, like with anyone else. And while I know you don’t mean to, there’s kind of these unspoken rules.”

He waited a few moments, hoping in vain that she would just understand what he meant without him having to explain it. Even sharing it with her would be awkward. It seemed like she did, but then she frowned and leaned back, dropping to her bottom on the grate. “Wait, if I can smell when you’re...does that mean you can smell me too? Always have been? Oh my god, that’s, that’s awful. I can’t believe you could-”

“I couldn’t! Well, I could, but I didn’t! That’s what I was trying to-look Time Lords, or Ladies, we can smell a lot, and that can make things really uncomfortable. So it’s this rule, we’re taught from birth that there’s certain things you just _ignore_. By my age, I just tune it all out. I never knew when you were, because I’ve been refusing to smell it or notice it since I was little. It’s considered outrageously impolite to even be aware of it, let alone comment on it.” His tongue felt a little too big for his mouth, so the Doctor snapped his mouth shut and watched the grating for a while.

Finally, Rose let out a little sigh and muttered, “So, I was just really rude, right? Shit, I’m sorry.”

The Doctor sat up straight and scooted over to her, and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry about it, love. You didn’t know, and I didn’t even think to mention it. It’s the teacher’s fault for skipping material, not the student’s.”

“But, how come I didn’t smell it before now? We share a bed.” She dropped her head to his shoulder, and the Doctor leaned his own against her hair.

He thought about it, reasoning it out. “Well, I haven’t taken a shower since yesterday, I guess. Body wash and any other artificial scents do a lot to block that stuff out. And we’ve spent a lot of time in smelly rooms, like the kitchen and even the cinema room. Food smells can really do a number on the senses when you aren’t trained to ignore them.”

The both of them usually showered every day, if only their bodies. Tardis life was sweaty business, and it was important to leave for each adventure with a clean slate so as to offend the local atmosphere or population as little as possible with unwanted scents. The Doctor had slacked a little in the past couple weeks since they hadn’t been leaving for anything overly stressful or going anywhere that didn’t have a decently sized human population.

He regretted leaving Rose in the dark and susceptible to uncomfortable missteps, so the Doctor adjusted his Time Lord lectures to include appropriate behaviour as an overly sensitive being. Smells, sounds, and telepathy all had to be regulated according to different standards. A bunch of common people might find it hilarious when you can smell and taste every ingredient of a drink and name it, along with the kind of cleaner used on the glass, but the same trick could easily land you in forced work as a food taster for nobility. It was more important than ever that Rose study the customs of the galaxies.

There was no rush though. The Doctor had studied for centuries at the Academy, starting when he was eight; he could never expect Rose to learn it all right away. Rose wasn’t much for reading anyway, but she was a good listener, so the Doctor took to reading to her in the library while she worked on a sketches of the species he described. He started with a basic reading list, and they worked their way through half of the first one before he couldn’t see a single reason to keep putting off visiting Jackie.

She needed to know, rather than finding out at the most inopportune time like things normally happened. And if he was honest, he wanted Rose to be the one to tell her so he could stand on the other end of the room and avoid a smack. He’d insisted, then nearly begged for Rose to let him take them back to the Powell Estate. It’d caused quite a few tears, as Rose revealed how frightened she was at the prospect of telling her mum she’d _switched species_ without so much as hinting at her plans, but eventually she’d caved.

It was Rose’s idea to butter her up with a gift, so the Doctor took her to a bazaar on an asteroid that was zooming through the Betadin galaxy. The culture mash was incredible, and the was the perfect opportunity for Rose to practice what he’d been teaching her. They’d been practicing some techniques to help Rose filter out unwanted sensory information, and she put them to good use as soon as they stepped out the Tardis door. Shallow breaths, barriers up, a bit of humming to drown out some of the noise. Rose had been surprised when the Doctor revealed that it was part of why he was so inclined to singing and humming as they roamed. A good bit of white noise was just the thing to keep out unpleasant tones and other vibrations.

Rose did brilliantly. On two separate occasions, she managed to not only use the correct greeting, but avoid even the slightest response to a particularly odorous Visigoth merchant. They were far from the nicest people to barter with, but they always had fair prices. Rose settled on a weather device made of bazoolium that she hoped her mum would appreciate, if only for the interesting metal.

Jackie normally didn’t enjoy the trinkets that Rose brought back, claimed they were just too abnormal for her to keep around the house, especially with guests over. It upset Rose, that she couldn’t use her travelling experience to make her mum’s life easier or more fun. This toy would be simple enough Jackie could just say she found it online somewhere, while still being more accurate than any weather report.

Visiting Jackie was always such an affair. As soon as they stepped up to the door of the flat, the Doctor began to get nervous. He tried to slip past the women as they hugged in the hallway, but Rose’s backpack, plus the two of them left too little room for even his skinny form to escape. Jackie kissed him, she bloody kissed him! Each time they visited she became more affectionate, and the Doctor was sure it was just to annoy him. When he finally got away from her, he retreated to the coffee table and flipped through a magazine to look busy while Rose presented her gift.

The change in Rose after her mum said Grandad Prentice was coming to visit made alarm bells go off in the Doctor’s head. He sidled up to her as she whispered, “She’s gone mad.”

“Tell me something new.” He’d always known Jackie was a bit over the top, but that’d never phased Rose. Why was this bad? Prentice was Jackie’s maiden name, but why hadn’t he met Rose’s grandfather before?

He touched Rose’s mind and saw her figuring the current date out before she said, “Grandad Prentice, that’s her dad. But he died like 10 years ago.” That was not what he’d been expecting. With Jackie’s love of drama, the Doctor’d just assumed it was a family member they’d fallen out with. Rose sent him images, memories of the man they spoke of. He was a gentle man with the driest humor the Doctor’d ever seen in a human. He watched Rose’s grandfather present her with a long, pink skirt that was at least 20 years out of date, but was pulled out of it by Rose’s fear. “Oh my god, she’s lost it.”

The Doctor watched Rose from the doorway of the kitchen as she tried to explain to her mother about Grandad Prentice’s heart giving out. Then Jackie checked her watched and said, “Ten past. Here he comes.”

To his confusion, Jackie looked at the space in front of the counter instead of toward the front door. Suddenly there was a shift, a ripple that shouldn’t have been there. The Doctor stepped up behind Rose and went to whisper in her ear about it, explain what he was sure she’d felt as well, but a being stepped into existence at Jackie’s side.

Jackie didn’t look frightened, didn’t even flinch. She was smiling, and when the being walked over to her other side, Jackie let out a big breath. “Here we are then.” She nodded at the figure, then towards Rose and the Doctor. “Dad, say hello to Rose. Hasn’t she grown?”

Wrong. It was wrong. Every cell in the Doctor’s body knew it was wrong. Rose was broadcasting all kinds of fear to him, and he didn’t have anything reassuring to say back. _Are there more?_ He asked her, though she clearly had no more knowledge of this than he did. Turning tail, the Doctor raced out of the flat and down the steps into the street, Rose right behind him.

 _That was not a ghost. Couldn’t be, right?_ Rose asked, as though she’d forgotten already that talking while she ran would not put her out of breath anymore.

He didn’t know. Shouldn’t be, never had been, but the Doctor was too lost to think straight. How many? Where? How long had this been going on? Most importantly, why and how?

“They’re everywhere.” That was part of an answer at least, but how localized was this? The air felt different, thin. Shapes were all over the street, and people were just integrating them into whatever they were doing. Children made a little extra space in their groups, and adults were having one sided conversations.

Rose called to him, but he was too late to move and one of the figures stepped through him. All the air was sucked out of the Doctor’s body and he went uncomfortably cold, but the figure just kept moving, paying him no mind.

There was no time for Jackie’s smart responses, but before the Doctor could go interrogate one of the figures, they faded away. The air went back to normal, and no one had even batted an eye.

With nothing left to analyze or investigate, they followed Jackie back up to the flat, and the Doctor resorted to channel flipping. He hated it. Whatever these things were they were using painful memories of the long dead to pull themselves onto Earth and insinuate themselves into human life. It was cruel, and a very worried voice in the Doctor’s head coming from the blonde next to him pointed out that it was probably dangerous.

There was no cigarette smoke. If anyone had smoked in the flat in the last month both the Doctor and Rose would’ve been able to smell it. That was another thing. They still hadn’t told Jackie about Rose. He sent a slightly hopeful reminder to her, but she shut him down right away. She had a point. Not really the time to spring anything else upsetting on Jackie.

So he went back to the Tardis while Rose scanned the papers and got more information from her mum. Jackie didn’t want to talk to him anymore, and he could understand that. She’d been happy living in the illusion that her father had come back to her, and he’d ruined it.

There had to be a way to scan for where all this activity was coming from. Since when did aliens, if that was what they were dealing with, visit in scheduled shifts? Someone or something had to be limiting their ability to corporealize, and he could only hope he could help them shut it down completely. No good could come of this. There were sparks of timelines popping and losing their branches in his time sense. Everything was narrowing down to a couple decisions, and he couldn’t see what!

Rose joined him in the Tardis after half an hour to announce the most useful thing she’d found was a ghost had been elected MP in Leeds. Somehow the Doctor wasn’t surprised. He was tense, and Rose was tense, and he tried to alleviate some of it as he stepped out of the grate with the rest of the hardware he needed and a backpack. “Who ya gonna call?”

It did the trick and Rose was giggling madly as they stepped outside. Jackie watched as the Doctor set up the last of his cones, and as she scolded him he welcomed Rose’s idea of the Gelth. “Nah, they were just coming through one little rift.” _Though that’s a brilliant idea, love. You’re definitely on the right track._ He could feel Rose thinking, borrowing information from him and trying to work it out for herself. It was wonderful having another mind running like his.

Jackie was still talking, romanticizing everything. “Don’t you think it’s beautiful?” she asked, and the Doctor took a moment to look her in the eye.

“I think it’s horrific.” Didn’t she see? Whatever these things were, they were abusing the entire human race and their concept of death. They were manipulating so many people into thinking a miracle had happened, all those people were being given false hope. The Doctor knew what it was like to have false hope, and when it was taken away, it hurt like hell. But he couldn’t let them go on like this, because it would hurt more if their visitors were dangerous.

Rose had been thinking with him the whole time, so he knew she understood why he felt the way he did, but he wasn’t sure she felt the same. Still, when he called for her she came to him. Unfortunately so did Jackie. Seeing as they still hadn’t explained pretty much anything about their relationship, Rose’s telepathy, or her recent change, he couldn’t exactly let Rose take the lead on running the scan like he’d hoped to. Instead he described what she’d need to do, apologizing internally for probably sounding a bit patronizing considering her extensive knowledge and bond with the Tardis. Sometimes he thought if Rose just smacked random buttons the Tardis would still do what she wanted, they were so close.

She played along, pointing at the wrong things and grinning up at him. It was nice, and the Doctor knew she wasn’t angry at him for being snippy with her mum. Knowing Rose was perfectly capable, the Doctor ran back out to his cones to set their energy levels and complete their circuit with the ship. After he asked her about the line, her mind went quiet and suddenly she said _I think my mum can tell._

_Tell what?_

_That I’m a Time Lady, Doctor. I think she can bloody tell_ . _She says I look like you._

The Doctor was genuine surprised. Did all the Tylers have that ability, the skill to just surprise a 903 year old alien? The only thing he could think of was some maternal instinct at work, telling Jackie that Rose wasn’t quite the same as before. But she’d changed so little on the outside, it had to be something else. What about Rose had changed so much her mum was seeing it? He didn’t have time for this. The cones were ready, and the shift had begun. “Here we go!”

Oh he was good. He was _really_ good. It’d taken him less than an hour to construct and enable a perfect origin triangulator. As the cones began to the hum, the Doctor couldn’t contain his excitement. “Come on then, you beauty!” _Well done!_ As always, Rose had come through.

Just as he’d planned, the trap had drawn in a ghost. Slipping on the special glasses he’d dug out from storage, the Doctor began to adjust the settings. If he could just identify what field was forcing the ghosts in and out of the plane. As he worked, the small shocks and analyzing scans he sent through made the ghost twitch and try to escape. A few more twists of the dial and the ghost struck out, swiping at him through the field.

There. Definitely not friendly. The shocks he’d sent would be nothing more than annoying; no peaceful creature would attack him for it. But then the ghost faded out. He was supposed to have another 10 or 15 minutes! Whoever was controlling these Ghost Shifts knew what he was doing and had shut it down. Brilliant.

He raced into the Tardis and threw off his coat. “I said so, those ghosts are being forced into existence from one specific point, and I can track down the source.” Rose was smiling at him, and why shouldn’t she? He was having a very good day, in just a minute they’d be at the origin location and he and Rose could save the day! “Allons-y!” He yanked out a lever and the Tardis shuddered at the sudden take off. The Doctor was so glad the seat was there because he’d forgotten to warn Rose.

Since when did he need to warn Rose about take off? Why was she so distracted? Wait, had he said ‘Allons-y’? Oh, that was a good word. Brilliant word. And he told her so, locking in the time so they didn’t end up 130 years too late, again. It wasn’t his fault! Rose’d been looking at him, giving him those doe eyes he’d fallen for so quickly and piloting the Tardis had become kind of unimportant compared to kissing her.

Kissing Rose was nice, and he’d quite like to do it again, so he worked his way around the console rambling about meeting a man named Alonso, and just as he was about to lean forward, he paused. “You’re staring at me.”

“My mum’s still on board.” Oh. Rose giggled in his mind and he turned to where she directed him. Jackie Tyler was still in his ship. He’d forgotten she’d even come onboard, and now they were shifting through the time vortex and she was sitting up on a ledge, swinging her legs at him. It was so….domestic.

They’d hardly landed before the Tardis was surrounded by men with guns. Military? No, wrong uniform. Privatized soldiers then. The Doctor was getting some very Utah-esque vibrations. “There goes the advantage of surprise. Still, cuts to the chase. Stay in here, look after Jackie.” The Doctor headed toward the door as Rose argued. ‘Course she would.

“I’m not lookin’ after my mum.”

“You brought her!” It wasn’t like he could leave Jackie alone in the Tardis. Who knew what she would mess up or break or find. It was the last thing that had the Doctor very on edge. After everything had changed between him and Rose, what if her mum found some kind of proof and everything blew up in their faces? He should have known this was going to happen. No way he and Rose were going to get to properly explain everything now, they weren’t that lucky.

He tuned Jackie’s complaint out and focused on Rose as she blocked the door. “Doctor, they’ve got guns.”

Things were getting dangerous, but this wasn’t anything new. _What’s wrong?_ He asked, while speaking out loud at the same time. “And I haven’t. Which makes me the better person, don’t you think?” He gently moved her by the waist back onto the ramp.

 _Doctor, can we just stop thinking like Time Lords for a minute? You could die if they get trigger happy. Just cus’ we’ve done this before doesn’t mean it isn’t dangerous._ Rose kept eye contact with him, but he broke it to open the door, keeping his tone light as he spoke.

“They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine.” Why was she so spooked? _That’s why you’re staying inside until I think it’s safe. You’ll be back by my side as soon as possible. You know I’m useless without you._

He stepped out of the Tardis, leaving it open the smallest crack so Rose could stay close. As the blonde woman began clapping, he relaxed the tiniest bit, nearly ready to have Rose join him. Then she mentioned records.

Who was keeping records on him? _Rose, stay inside, if they find out about you it’ll put you in danger._

But he could already hear her whispering to Jackie, “Whatever you do mum, keep the door shut. If it’s shut, they can’t get in.”

He reached in, aiming for Jackie. He knew she’d been closer to the door, but his arm caught on Rose’s jacket and he had no choice but to pull her out. “Here she is, Rose Tyler.” His time sense suddenly hummed, and he felt a few more branches snap off. Clearly whether or not he brought Rose with him had been one of the decisions. He could only hope he’d made the right one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of the changes I'm making, I'm trying to keep things pretty similar as often as I can, but the further I go, the more it's going to diverge from the canon. Please be prepared.


	19. Chapter 12-Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second half of the Chapter covering 'Army of Ghosts' Oh, how things are a-changin' now. Please forgive me if some characterizations start to lack, this research is stretching me pretty thin. Not that I'm not still Loving writing this. 
> 
> Reminder: Although I use direct quotes from specific episodes of 'Doctor Who', I don't lay any claim to the trademark. I'm just borrowing it for a love story.
> 
> Unbeta'd: Any and all mistakes are my own fault.
> 
> Rating: Teen & Up

Rose didn’t even look flustered, she just smiled and clutched the Doctor’s coat to her stomach. When had she had time to grab it?  _ Rose, they can’t know you and I are- _

_ I know the drill, Doctor. Rose the assistant, got it. _ Her whole demeanor melted into a demure smile and she politely held up his jacket, helping him put it on.

The Doctor slipped into his own character, “Hmm, not the best I’ve ever had, bit too blonde-”  _ And beautiful _ , “Not too bright-”  _ brilliant,  _ “Lot of that. But she’ll do.”  _ I love when you talk. _

_ Doctor, just shut up will you and get on with it? I know you don’t mean it! _ But while her face had gone appropriately embarrassed, her mind was snorting with laughter. He swore sometimes Rose liked playing the assistant part, just because of how uncomfortable it made him to be rude to her.

The blond woman laughed politely, and glanced between the two of them, “She’s certainly pretty.” She was trying to imply something, and that just wouldn’t do. 

He spent a theatrical moment looking Rose up and down, then grinned cheekily at the woman. “That she is, makes the trips more interesting, having something nice to look at. But as an assistant she’s a bit rubbish. I’ll have to trade her in, do you need anyone?” The woman was just watching him, so he kept talking, hoping he wouldn’t get too much of a smack at his next comment. “She’s very good at tea, well I say very good. I mean not bad. Well, I say not bad-”

_ Watch it! _

“Anyway! Lead on. Allons-y!” Luckily the woman and the soldiers complied. As he followed them he kept a good foot in front of Rose, like a teacher leading a student. He hated pretending Rose was beneath him. She deserved so much better, but the whole persona had been her idea.

They’d just gotten out of a very sticky situation, and the Doctor had admitted how difficult it made things when people knew they could get to him through Rose. He wasn’t complaining, he loved how much Rose meant to him, though at the time he didn’t think she’d ever know it. It just made things a little dodgy when they met people who wouldn’t blink at going after Rose just to debilitate him.

She’d gotten a very mischievous smile, “Well, we could always pretend I  _ don’t _ mean anything to you. You’d just have to, I dunno, treat me like I’m stupid. Like you used to, when we first met!” The Doctor had gaped at her. When had he  _ ever _ ? “All that, ‘You apes could never understand.’ and ‘Superior Time Lord here, more brilliant than you could ever be.’”

He’d immediately flushed and grabbed Rose’s hand. “I never should’ve done that, Rose. You’re incredibly brilliant, more than me some-”

“Yeah, yeah. I know that, always have. But if you were to lay it on really thick for me, people wouldn’t look at me twice. They’d just think I was your lowly assistant, only kept around for being such a pretty face.” The Doctor had wanted to kiss her at that, but it was before they’d gotten together. Before their fight even. Back when he’d been so clueless and thought she didn’t want him, and so blind as to think she hadn’t noticed that the very fact that they were having the conversation was proof he was in love with her. Why else would their enemies be able to get to him by hurting her?

Instead he’d just shook his head, “That would never work. I’d have to be awful to you in order for them to believe us, and I won’t do it. No one deserves to be treated like that.” He couldn’t even manage to say no to her most of the time, how was he supposed to insult her? Sure, he did it accidentally once in a while, like she’d just pointed out. But that was because he was trying so hard to ignore how he felt that he didn’t pay attention to what he was saying.

Rose had begun to goad him, daring him as he led her to the Tardis at the end of the hall. “It would be the perfect cover. No one cares about the assistant to the mastermind. I could be all wimpy and sweet and clueless, it would be hilarious!” She’d seen right through his nerves and gone really quiet as they stepped into the Tardis. “Doctor, it’d make things safer for both of us. Just let’s try it sometime, yeah?”

Of course, he hadn’t figured out how to say no. So they tried it, and even though the Doctor had stumbled over how to insult Rose, and had nearly ruined it by getting overly defensive of her a couple times, it had worked out brilliantly. Rose had been able to sneak around, claim being lost, and find the physical file he’d been looking for to complete a program that rendered all weapons connected to the mainframe totally useless. It’d been such a success, they did it again. And again. And after each time they played the mastermind and the lowly assistant, the Doctor let down his inhibitions enough to drown Rose in compliments once they got back to the Tardis and they spent the night watching a movie or he would read to her, or whatever she wanted.

He almost thought she’d come up with the idea knowing how susceptible it would make him to her other plans. It was after one of these scenarios that she’d begged him into watching  _ reality tv _ . 

The Doctor shuddered at the memory.

As the woman led them through the building, the Doctor grew more and more worried. They were hoarding alien technology, attacking other species. The Jathaa were a peaceful people, just beginning to explore and interact with other planets in the late 20th century. Then, suddenly, they’d stopped. They’d become defensive and reclusive. It’d taken another couple centuries before they could be convinced to join the intergalactic union and renew their trading contracts with even nearby planets.

No wonder they’d retreated, their emissary had been shot down, and their defense systems stripped and turned into a weapon carrying their technological handprint! It was as good as blaming the Jathaa for the death of the Sycorax! 

He’d nearly zoned out of the woman’s explanations, relying on his unconcious to store the information for examining later, but Rose’s voice pulled him back into the present. “But, there isn’t a British Empire anymore.” She was a remarkable actress. Her voice was soft and unsure, and much more confused than he could feel she actually was.

He focused on the woman and waited for her answer. “For now.” Already he could see her glazing over Rose. It was working. It made the Doctor sad, how often the quiet ones, or the ones who didn’t seem very smart got overlooked. It was their own fault they were being fooled, they should be able to see the importance in every person. Especially Rose.

The woman shifted the topic smoothly over to, was that a particle gun? “It’s the 21st century, you can’t have particle guns.”

What alien? Who did they need protecting from? The Earth wasn’t in any current danger, why were they building so many weapons? What idiot came up with the idea that in order to prevent war, you have to have a bigger stick than everyone else? It was like throwing down a gauntlet and waiting for someone to pick up the challenge! He knew, because that was exactly what the Time Lords did, and look how that turned out.

Finally a name to the face. Yvonne Hartman was now on the Doctors list, and that was not a good place to be. Wait, did he have a list? What was the list for? He should make a list anyway, they were useful.

The Doctor blamed his confusing thoughts on the rather massive amount of anxiety and frustration he was building up. This wasn’t just like Utah, this was far worse. Henry Van Statten had been an idiot and a fool, who didn’t understand anything he held in his twisted private museum. Yvonne was clearly not an idiot, but he worried she was still just as much of a fool.

He chanced bringing up the ghosts, but she simply brushed him off. It was a waste of time to be wandering around their stupid facility. Whatever they were doing to bring in the ghosts was causing serious damage.

Rose lost her dazed composure for a moment and snapped to attention, “Where are you taking h-that?” The Doctor shot her a look that he hoped was appropriately scolding, and Rose immediately deflated.  _ Sorry _ .

They’d taken the Tardis, unsurprisingly. As Yvonne repeated her ridiculous motto, the Doctor watched the doors carefully and warned her with as light a voice as he could manage, “You’ll never get inside it.” The blue doors were shut tight, thankfully Jackie wasn’t trying to make an appearance. Though that might mean she wasn’t in the console room. Please let her not be snooping. Who was he kidding? Of course she was snooping. 

As they walked down a long hallway, the Doctor began to pry. What was Torchwood, and how did they know about him?

1879? But wasn’t that-”1879? That was called Torchwood, that house in Scotland.” Those had been good times with Rose, before everything had gone wonky. He wouldn’t give up what they had now for anything, but right after Scotland he’d given her that lovely massage.

Rose spoke up again, back to her breathy voice. “He made me stay in the Tardis for that one, said I’d only muck things up.” Oh, that was a little too much, wasn’t it? He’d never leave Rose to sit in the Tardis, that defeated the whole point of having her there!

Yvonne seemed to like it, and she even laughed. “I’m sure he did, Mose.” Had she forgotten Rose’s name? Blimey, didn’t she say she was a people person?

_ I swear, soon as I get the chance, I’m gonna slap her. _ The Doctor fought back a smile and instead asked a question.

“If I’m the enemy, does that mean I’m a prisoner?” He had to admit, this was a bit different from the other times he’d been taken prisoner. For one, they hadn’t thrown him in a cell yet, or electrocuted him like Van Statten, and he still had all his clothes. That was always a favourite of jailers, taking his clothes and trying to get in his pockets. They were bigger on the inside, and he’d wired them up to seal off the pocket dimension they held if someone unauthorized tried to get in. The most they’d ever gotten out was his psychic paper, but that’d been a malfunction.

It seemed Yvonne had finally reached the grand finale, as she scanned her ID and led them into a room. Inside the room, was a Void ship.

The Doctor was lost, unable to keep his eyes off the ship. Rose could tell how serious things were and he felt her broach his thoughts. Wordlessly, he sent her all he knew. Listening to whatever his name was, or Yvonne was a lost cause that he could distantly hear Rose taking up.

He examined the ship, even put his special glasses back on to see if it had the same signature as the figures had. It did. Not a good sign.

When Yvonne said his name, he responded on autopilot, taking a moment to calm himself and pay enough attention to the humans in the room. As he explained the Void’s use, he noticed that Rose had kept away from the platform, but she was still listening intently.

Were these people insane? They weren’t going to get inside the Void ship, they needed to get rid of it! Sent it back where it came from! They didn’t have time for any more ridiculous tours. He needed to know what was going on. 

Wrong way. Oops.

He could see it in the wall. The spatial disturbance was like an itch inside his eyes. Wrong, uncomfortable to look at. Even without Torchwood shooting at it with particle guns, the rip was still there, just smaller. They were stretching it out, and each time they did it got bigger and bigger, even after ‘closing’ it.

Rose had gone to look out the window, and she waited an abnormal amount of time before announcing excitedly to the room “We’re in Canary Wharf! We must be, right?”

By now Yvonne had completely lost interest in Rose, and didn’t even respond. There it was. Rose was officially off the radar. The Doctor leaned against a steel beam and tried to walk himself through the idiotic thought process of Torchwood officials.

“So you find the breach, probe it, the sphere comes through. 600 feet above London, bam! It leaves a hole in the fabric of reality. And that hole, you think ‘Oh, shall we leave it alone? Shall we back off? Shall we play it safe?’ Nah, you think, “Let’s make it bigger!” Of course they wanted the energy. Britain always wanted to be more independent. The Doctor swore, if they had their way Great Britain would just come their own planet. Bloody humans.

They couldn’t do the next Ghost Shift, but Yvonne wasn’t budging, even after the Doctor did a rather accurate representation of what could happen with one of the glass panels. Why would they ever risk that? 

_ Stop caring. Trust me. Let her do what she wants. You’re just making her want to be stubborn. _ Rose was giving him a pointed nudge with her mind, so the Doctor did as she asked. He threw up a big smile and grabbed a wheelie chair and made himself comfortable. He even invited Rose to watch the show. It wasn’t until the very last second that Yvonne backtracked.

Rose didn’t follow him as he moved back into the office to talk to Yvonne. Instead, he watched her go over and try to talk to one of the employees working on the computers. Clever. No way Yvonne would let him do any real research, but Rose was invisible. 

She didn’t seem to be having much luck, and the Doctor was about to turn his attention back to Yvonne, when Rose send him an image of the computer screen she was standing at.  _ This woman, she won’t say anything to me, but her screen. What’s she doing? _

The Doctor jumped up from his chair and make a comment on the noise of the employee’s typing, before wandering over to another person’s chair. They were starting the shift without permission. “What do you think you’re doing? Yvonne, you said you were stopping the shift!” He pushed the man’s chair away and began trying to cancel the program, but it was being jointly run by the other computers in the room.

“Doctor, what’s on her ears? Do those look familiar to you?” Rose had dropped all pretense and was copying the Doctor’s attempts to shut down the shift on a woman’s computer. 

Yvonne came up behind them and crossed her arms. “Doctor, leave my computers alone! I’m sure they weren’t starting a Shift. As for their ears, it’s a bluetooth device. Surely you’ve seen one before!”

The program was still running, and everyone working on the computers was entirely unresponsive. The so called bluetooth devices on everyone’s ears were blinking rapidly, as though they were receiving a hundred messages a minute. “Get them away from the desks!” He pulled the chair of the man he was next to into the aisle, and Rose pulled the woman, but Yvonne just started shouting at her guards to grab him. “No! Yvonne, listen to me! Why do they have two earpieces? I’ve seen this before, get them away from the computers!”

Things finally seemed to click for Yvonne when the levers on either side of the room slowly began to move up. “Stop what you’re doing right now! I said stop! Move away from your computers or you’re all fired!” 

Her own earpiece blinked, and Yvonne turned furious eyes on the Doctor. “Who is this other companion of yours? We found her wandering the halls. Are you trying to sabotage us?” 

The Doctor momentarily forgot the situation they were in, and sighed at Rose. “Oh, your mother. She’s almost as bad as you are! Why do you lot always have to wander off?” 

“Her mother? You travel with her mother?”

He didn’t have time for this. The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver and adjusted the settings to block the signals being sent to the brain of the worker in front of him. “Sorry, I’m so sorry.” As he turned on the frequency every employee in the office screamed and collapsed.

“What happened? What did you just do?” Yvonne stared him down, and he felt almost bad for her. Surely she hadn’t meant for things to go this wrong.

“They’re dead.”

Yvonne looked like she’d been slapped, and she stared down at the woman next to Rose. Rose herself was still typing on the computer, but she glanced over at Yvonne sympathetically. “Look, before you go saying anything, it wasn’t the Doctor’s fault. They’ve been dead for a while. The comms devices were controlling them.” 

The Doctor turned away and checked another screen. He couldn’t turn it off, they’d taken complete control. “Rose, what’s the Ghost Shift at?”

“90% and still running! Can you trace it?” Of course, if they were being run by a remote transmitter, it had to be nearby. Either Rose was getting even more clever, or she was pulling thoughts from him that he hadn’t even acknowledged yet. It was like having twice the processing speed on an already cutting edge computer. Rose may not have been able to come up with the ideas herself yet, but she knew how to use her resources.

He set his screwdriver and following its beeping out of the room. “Rose, with me!” Again, possible timelines collapsed around him. Another decision made, and he’d still chosen Rose. Everything was spinning tighter and tighter, and it all revolved around the two of them.

They ran through a couple halls, until the signal directed him into a space hidden by plastic sheeting. “What’s down here?” Yvonne had come with as well, even grabbed a couple of her soldiers.

“What? I don’t know. I think it’s building work. It’s just renovations.” But there clearly hadn’t been any work done recently, and the sonic screwdriver was buzzing in warning.

“You should go back.” He wasn’t sure which woman he was talking to, but he hoped both of them would listen. Rose didn’t need to be here for this, surely she would be more useful somewhere else. But of course, he had to be surrounded by stubborn humans. Or at least, Rose still had a human thought process.

The five of them moved slowly through the plastic sheeting, pushing curtains aside as the Doctor listened to the sonic grow louder and more insistent. They ended up in a small open area, surrounded on every side but their back by cloudy panels of plastic that went all the way to the floor.

Rose stood just behind him, and he could feel her rest a hand light as a feather on his free side.  _ Doctor, ear comms controlling people? That sounds like-but it couldn’t be, right? _

_ I think it is. _ “This world is colliding with another. And I think I know which one.”

With the telling hiss and clomp of their steps, figures appeared behind every panel and sliced their way through. Beside him, Yvonne whispered, “What are they?”

“They came through first, the advance guard. Cybermen.” They must’ve followed the Sphere into this dimension, then hidden in the building, upgrading anyone who came too close.

There was a yank on his side, and the Doctor joined Rose in running, grabbing Yvonne’s arm and dragging her behind the soldiers. But another Cyberman blocked their path. 

“We surrender! Don’t kill us, we surrender!” The Doctor threw his hands up, and Rose followed suit. Yvonne had gone very limp, but she lifted her hands behind her head as well, and the Cybermen escorted them back to the lever room after killing the soldiers who’d opened fire.

Jackie was waiting for them with a soldier at her back, obviously having been brought up for punishment or cataloguing, or whatever Torchwood did with stray humans. Rose shouted at her as soon as she came into sight. “Mum, put your hands up! Just do whatever they say!”

The Doctor’s hearts ached for her. She’d already lost Jackie once in the other dimension, this had to be like a nightmare. “That goes for everyone! Get away from the machines and do what they say! Don’t fight them!”

It did no good for the scientists who’d managed to pull the levers back down to prevent the Ghost Shift. In two shots they were dead, and Jackie looked hysterical. “What are they?”

“We are the Cybermen. The Ghost Shift will be increased to 100%.” The levers went much faster this time, sliding up to the on position and locking in place.

There was no way to stop it. “Here come the Ghosts.” Out of the rift came lines of figures that quickly corporealized into Cybermen. There were everywhere. He could only watch as Cybermen crossed the dimensions, appearing all across the Earth. They’d come to claim their victory over the new world. It’d been months in the making, but they’d managed to gain access to everything Earth had to offer, and now they were taking control.

A computer seemed to switch off mute across the room, and it began to let out a warning, “Sphere activated. Sphere activated.” 

How? If the Sphere was involved, they had to have built it, but how? “What I don’t understand is the Cybermen don’t have the technology to build a Void Ship. That’s way beyond you. How did you create that Sphere?”

“The Sphere is not ours.” Wait.

“What?”

The Cyberman droned on, but the Doctor couldn’t listen. If the Void Ship didn’t belong to the Cybermen, what could be inside it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, whaddya think? How can I improve? Constructive criticism is useful, even if I don't do exactly what you suggest! I'm always looking to improve. What did you like, what didn't you like? What do you think is going to happen next? Shower me in your thoughts!   
> Ignore the fact that I'm totally procrastinating doing the next chapter because Doomsday fucking breaks me every time, and now I have to watch most of it like ten times over to get all the details I need.


	20. Chapter 13-Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first half of the Doomsday chapter, I hope you like it. Sorry about taking so long on the update, this episode is so damn painful to re-watch. Also, turns out I managed to keep this chapter a little bit shorter, so I'll give you the second part tomorrow. 
> 
> Reminder: The Doctor Who Trademark doesn't belong to me in any form, I'm just borrowing it for a self-gratifying love story.
> 
> Unbeta'd: All Mistakes are mine entirely, but please go easy on me.
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

Things stood still for a while, as they waited for the conquering to finish. The Doctor ran simulation after simulation in his head, and none ended well. There was too big of a missing piece. What was inside the Void Ship? It had to be a highly advanced species, but which one? Void Ships were ideas, theories born from the desperation of the Time War. Anyone who could have figured out how to actually develop one had to be seriously damaged or fleeing something. The likelihood that it was friendly was nonexistent.

One of the Cybermen ordered The Doctor over to the window, and Rose and Jackie followed behind him. As soon as she’d figured it was safe to put her arms down, Rose had wrapped herself around her mother and didn’t show any signs of letting go. He didn’t even have to imagine what she was going through, because she’d begun broadcasting it as soon as the Cybermen had crossed over. He couldn’t blame her for losing control, but all her emotions were being thrown around and it made it hard to think.

He tried to reassure her,  _ I’ll get you both out of this. I give you my word. _ But even as scared as she was, Rose refused to let him be so dismissive of himself.

_ No. The two of us are going to get everyone out of this, and then you and I are going taking my mum to the prettiest bloody beach in the universe. Got it? _ After that, Rose managed to raise her barriers enough to stop bombarding the Doctor, but he missed her.

Outside the world was in hell. Explosions and fires were everywhere, and people as small as ants were running everywhere. The Cyberman who had summoned him seemed confused. “I ordered surrender.”

“They’re not taking instructions! Don’t you understand? You’re on every street! You’re in their homes, you’ve got their children! Of course they’re gonna fight!” Removing every emotion had more consequences than the Doctor had realized. It wasn’t just simple emotions gone. The Cybermen didn’t understand empathy, they couldn’t understand why anyone would do anything illogical. It made them weak, and unimaginative. They were just simple programs, coded to change everything around them into a copy or destroy it. It reminded the Doctor far too much of the Daleks.

The Cyberman did a full turnaround and faced another Cyberman who said. “Scans detect unknown technology active with Sphere Chamber. Cybermen will investigate.” At least he would find out who was in the ship.

After a minute their guard led them over to the desk. “Units open visual link.” The laptop Yvonne had been showing the Doctor what seemed like years ago, flicked on, and they saw through the eyes of the Cybermen as they moved toward the Sphere Room.

Speak of the devil, and the Daleks appear. This couldn’t get worse. It quite literally couldn’t. Cybermen and Daleks at the same time, with parallel dimensions collapsing around them? 

The tiniest shred of hope appeared when the Cyberman and Dalek scout didn’t get along. He almost hoped they would destroy each other. But the Cybermen were from a different dimension, one where they’d only just been built. They hadn’t had the time to develop weapons that could put a scratch on a Dalek exoskeleton. The Doctor couldn’t help pacing behind the Cyberman, checking to see if there was any weakness at its back that he hadn’t noticed before. The Cybermen were ignoring him for the moment, and he needed to take advantage of it.

His cover disappeared when the link cut out. “Quarantine the Sphere Chamber. Start Emergency Upgrading. Begin with these personnel.”

Jackie and Yvonne were grabbed by the arms, but when the Doctor went to pull Jackie free his own forearm was grasped painfully tight. Another Cyberman had Rose by the shoulders, but it didn’t move to leave the room, even as she screamed and kicked to reach her mother. The Cyberman in charge spoke. “Keep these two. Their increased adrenaline suggests they have vital Dalek information.”

“Mum! I’ll get you out! I promise! Mum, don’t fight!” Rose was sobbing, and the Doctor’s hearts were breaking with hers. 

As soon as the Cybermen let them go, the Doctor wrapped Rose in a hug. “I’ll fix it, she’ll be okay, I promise. Rose, she’ll be okay.” There was no one to pretend for, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  _ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. We’ll save her, we’ll get her back. _

A Cyberman stepped forward, and if the Doctor didn’t know better, he would have thought its immobile metal face looked smug. “She is proof.” 

“Of what?” He held her tighter. It didn’t matter what proof she was, they couldn’t have her!

The Cyberman didn’t even hesitate before preaching its creed. “That emotions destroy you.”

To be honest, they did. The Doctor definitely felt destroyed, and the agony from Rose spoke for itself. “Yup. We both are.” Then there was a ripple, like before the Cybermen had appeared in ghost form, and several distinctly human shapes began to materialize. “Mind you, I quite like hope. Hope’s a good emotion.”  _ Rose, look _ .

Just as Rose lifted her head from the Doctor’s shoulder, the figures became people in all black outfits, and they blasted the two guard cybermen in the lever room with energy beams. There were two leaders at the front and one of them took a shot at the Cyberman the Doctor had been talking to. In less than a second its head exploded.

“Doctor, Rose, good to see you again.” Said one, in a voice far too familiar. Both leaders pulled off their masks, and the Doctor balked.

The worlds must have been collapsing, because that was, “Mickey? Jake?”

Rose faltered, but the Doctor pushed her forward and it was enough to send her flying into Mickey’s arms. “You’re back! Oh my god, Mickey!”

Jake smiled at them, then looked at the Doctor. “The Cybermen came through from one world to another, and so did we.”

Once Rose had detached from Mickey, he ran around giving everyone orders. It was absolutely bizarre to see Mickey the idiot in charge of anyone, but it actually suited him. He almost didn’t recognize the confidence he saw in a once rather passive man, but Mickey looked like he owned the room and it was clear his people respected him.

Everyone ran off to their jobs, and the Doctor scanned them through his glasses as they left. It was exactly what he’d thought. “You can’t just hop from one world to another. You can’t.”

He caught the item that’d been thrown to him by Jake, and Mickey handed one to Rose as well. “We’ve been usin’ these, Boss.”

“But that’s impossible, you can’t have this sort of technology.” It was crude work, reminding the Doctor of Jack’s vortex manipulator. It got the job done, but in a rather ugly way.

Jake looked very pleased with himself, “We’ve got our own version of Torchwood. They developed it. Do you wanna come and see?” Mickey’s voice joined the Doctor’s in a shout as Jake slammed a fist into the teleport hanging from his neck. The whole world rippled around him, and then they were in a different place.

It was Torchwood, but dilapidated and dark. It didn’t look like the lever room had ever gotten used for its intended purpose. Rose and Mickey had been brought with them, and the Doctor couldn’t help checking on her. She was still sensitive from the change, and even the Doctor was feeling a little wobbly. He stepped over to her and pressed a hand to her cheek. “Alright?”

“Yeah, blimey, why do I feel sick?” Rose leaned on him a little, and her presence comforted him as much as the other way around. 

Slipping an arm around her waist to keep her upright, the Doctor side-eyed the men watching them before muttering, “Time sense. It’ll take a while to get used to. We’ve shifted dimensions and it’ll have a bigger effect on you.”

Mickey’s gaze jumped from the Doctor to Rose, and his face was caught between a smile and frown, so that half his mouth tilted up, and the other down. It was slightly comical, but Rose’s chuckle cut off as she held her stomach. The frown won out. “Why’s Rose sick?”

It was the Doctor’s turn to get confused. His eyes shot down to Rose’s,  _ Do we tell him? _

_ No point in hiding it. _ “Um Mickey, you should know that um, well first off, the Doctor and I are kind of. Together. And some stuff happened, and now I’m-”

“Oh my God, you’re pregnant?” Mickey rubbed his hands over his head and started rambling before Rose or the Doctor could correct him, “You’re gonna have some kind of half-Time Lord baby. How’s that even gonna work? Does your mum know? I bet she doesn’t!”

Rose walked over to him and slapped her hand over his mouth. “Shut it! I’m not having a kid! I’m a Time Lord.” Not the most tactical way of putting it, but it was straightforward.

As Mickey’s eyes went far wider than they should’ve, the Doctor came up and joined Rose again. He wanted to tell himself it was because she might still be weak, but he just knew his face was glowing with pride. His Rose, a Time Lord. It would never get old.

“You’re a what?” came a voice from the doorway. Pete Tyler, the  _ other _ Pete Tyler anyway, stepped into the room. He looked much older than before, and there was a hardness to him. “Mickey, I thought you said she was, I mean I thought she was supposed to be human.”

The Doctor felt Rose jump in his arms, and he tightened his grip protectively. It was one thing to tell Mickey, or even Jake since he wasn’t likely to care much. But parallel universe Pete Tyler was something else entirely. Rose had already begun to tremble a little. “Da-Pete. I mean, Mr. Tyler.” She swallowed audibly and just looked at the ground.  _ It’s so hard to look at him. _

Before things could get too awkward, Mickey jumped in. “Look, we don’t have time for this. We’ve got to get back.” He turned to look at the Doctor, “I was down there, in the Sphere Room with the Daleks. Lucky thing Rose told me what they looked like, else they’d have killed me right away. They kept going on about this Genesis Ark thing, and how they needed me to open it. I teleported out, but that won’t do much. My guess is they’d just need another human.”

“No, but they wouldn’t. Doctor, do you remember Utah?” Rose was thinking hard, and the Doctor filed it away as one of her cutest faces. “You said I woke that Dalek up because of that radiation stuff I picked up in the Tardis. What if that’s what they need? They’d have to have a time traveler to get it open.” She started smiling, proud of herself, and the Doctor almost smiled too until she froze. “Oh God, Doctor is one trip enough? What about my mum?”

One trip was definitely enough. They needed to get back, but these humans were just so chatty. Pete spoke again, “Your mum? That’d be Jackie Tyler, right? My wife from another universe? Too bad, cus’ you lot aren’t going anywhere until the Doctor listens for once.” His face was so solemn, nothing like the Pete from Rose’s world had been. “That’s right, I know what you are Doctor. And apparently you too, Rose.”

So they listened. Rose stared at Pete the whole time he spoke and for a moment the Doctor remembered how stupidly jealous he’d been when Rose had met her father for the first time. They’d gotten in a fight, and Rose had hit the nail on the head when she’d said, “For once, you’re not the most important man in my life.” He hadn’t realized at the time, but yeah, it hurt. Rose had looked at Pete just like she was now, like she couldn’t believe he existed. Like he was a miracle. At one point, that had made the Doctor angry, because that was how Rose looked at  _ him _ . 

Now all it did was make him hurt for her. She had to watch this man walk around in the body and mind of her long lost father, and he held nothing for her. And why would he? He’d lost his Jackie. But it didn’t have to be like that, and Rose had sensed it.

Pete was saying how he only cared about protecting his world, when Rose cut in. “What about Jackie? She’s still there you know, she needs us to save her. You to save her.”

“My wife died.”

“You died too! She misses you just as bad you’re missing her! Look, I know she’s not the same, but whether or not you want her, we can’t just leave her there!” Rose stayed surprisingly calm right up until the last few words, and there she wavered.

But Pete shook his head, “There are more important things at stake. Doctor, help us.”

The Doctor could see a small flicker of softness in Pete’s eyes. That settled it. The Doctor was going to get them back together, and save the worlds at the same time. Rose’s hand settled in his, and he smiled down at her. “We’d be happy to help.”

As soon as they phased back, the Doctor pulled Rose’s phone from her pocket as he held her upright. She wasn’t coping very well, and he handed her off to Mickey in order to make a phone call.

After a couple rings, Jackie picked up. “Oh my god, help me!”

“Jackie! You’re alive. Listen-”

“They tried to download me but I ran away!”

“Tell me, where are you?” It took more time than he liked, but Jackie was in the North corner, staircase 3. If she could just lay low, he could get to her. He hung up and grinned triumphantly at Pete. “Jacqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler.”

Pete didn’t look impressed, “She’s not my wife.”

Having recovered, Rose perked up from the side, “We were at your wedding. You got her name wrong.” The Doctor shared a smile with her, then jumped over to Jake’s side, grabbing his gun.

“Now then, Jakey-boy. If I could open up the bonding chamber on this thing, it could work on polycarbide.”

Jake frowned at him, “What’s polycarbide?”

Again, Rose replied. “Skin of a Dalek.” Oh he loved having his other half with him. The Doctor reached out for her hand without looking at her, and when she grabbed it they ran out the door. Just before they got past the offices, Rose nipped into one and came back with a sheet of A4 and a presentation pointer. She smiled at him, “White flag?”

On impulse, the Doctor kissed her. Behind them Mickey choked, but he really couldn’t be bothered. “Brilliant, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it ended a bit abruptly. I wanted to make sure I could split the chapter up, but there wasn't really a good inbetween spot. Let me know what you think so far in the comments, I love a second opinion. <3


	21. Chapter 13-Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the second half! I have some really important notes at the end, so please stay tuned.
> 
> Reminder: I own nothing. I'm borrowing these lines and characters for a love story
> 
> Unbeta'd: All mistakes are mine
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up

He made her hide around the corner of the hall with the others as he negotiated with the Cyberman, but then they stalked into the Sphere Room as a duo.

“Hello, remember me?” Mickey must’ve let slip he was there, because the Daleks began waving around their gunsticks and scooting backward and forward like they wanted to run away.

One of them spoke in its screech of a voice, “Alert. Alert. You are the Doctor.”

Then another one, in a nearly identical voice. “Sensors report he is unarmed.”

“That’s me. Always.” The last time the Doctor had seen the Daleks he’d nearly lost Rose and regenerated in the course of a few hours, yet he still felt surprisingly calm. He had a plan, and whoever these stragglers were, they weren’t going to harm anyone else.

The Dalek spoke again, “Then you are powerless.”

“Not me. Never.” The Doctor threw an arm over Rose’s shoulder, “For instance, you see her? This is Rose Tyler, one of the strongest powers I’ve ever seen. I’m assuming you escaped the Time War, and that means you don’t know what happened to your Emperor, so I’ll tell you. He survived, and made plans to enslave the human race, just like you. Until he met her.”

Like murderous puppies, the Daleks crowded together and pointed their eyestalks at Rose. “Explain. Explain! Where is the Emperor? You will explain!”

Rose crossed her arms, “He’s dead. I poured the time vortex into his head and turned him to dust, along with his entire fleet.”

As one, the Daleks scooted forward and waved their appendages. “Rose Tyler, you will be exterminated!”

“Oh, now, hold on, wait a minute!” The Doctor stuck his hands in his pockets and pulled out the glasses he’d been using to check everyone. “Before you do anything, I wanna know who you are. All the rest of the Daleks were destroyed in the Time War. But you ran away. The last four Daleks in existence. What makes you so special?”

“I am Dalek Thay.”

“Dalek Sec.”

“Dalek Jast.”

“Dalek Caan.”

The Doctor stopped, pulled off his glasses, and looked around. “The Cult of Skaro. I thought you were just a legend.” He sent the information to Rose directly, rather than waste his time explaining. The most cruel of the Daleks, the most deadly, all because they had imagination. The Dalek’s had one redeeming feature, and that was their refusal to lie. To them it was illogical to lie, there was no point in deception. Only those driven insane or severely injured would ever resort to it. Except the Cult of Skaro.

Their job was to find new ways of killing, new ways of dominating, and for the Cult even deception was tolerable as long as it was for the good of the Dalek Empire. They thought like their enemies in order to manipulate them, even dared to have names so they would seem more palatable to those they planned to destroy. They bowed to no one, but still revered the Emperor, loyal to leader of their cause.

Now they had something called a Genesis Ark, that they couldn’t even open. “Where did you get this?” He gestured toward the Ark. It was vaguely Dalek shaped, but that didn’t clear things up.

Another scream, “We stole it. Your Time Lord technology will restore Dalek supremacy.”

Time Lord technology? It didn’t look like anything a Time Lord would make, what would be the point of it? “What kind of Time Lord technology, what do you mean?”

“The Doctor will open the Ark.” Stupid Daleks, couldn’t even monologue like a proper villain.

Still, the Doctor couldn’t help but laugh. They were so confident that he’d just do as he was told. “The Doctor will not!” he chuckled.

“Then Rose Tyler will open the Ark.” The attention shifted back to Rose. Clearly they’d either figured out she was a Time Lord, or at least that she was a time traveler. To her credit, Rose didn’t even flinch.

Crossing her arms, Rose rebuked them like children, “The hell I will! I’d rather die.”

“Then die.” The Doctor slipped his hand into his suit pocket the instant before the Daleks had aimed their guns at Rose, and flicked it on.

All the doors in the room exploded inward and the Cybermen entered, along with Mickey’s team and Pete Tyler. Unfortunately the explosions were enough to knock Rose to the floor. She was too far away from him to reach, and he shouted to her to get out as he moved toward the front of the room himself. When Rose slipped getting up he nearly ran back to her, but Pete grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into the hallway.

They waited at the door for Mickey and Jake to join them, but at the last second Mickey fell backwards and landed against the Ark. He and Jake made it out, but Mickey was shaking his hand and swearing under his breath as the Doctor sealed the Cybermen and Daleks in together. Whatever the Ark was, Mickey had opened it.

He apologized as they were running down the halls, “I just fell, I didn’t mean it!”

It wasn’t his fault, but the Mickey was human and didn’t have the breath to waste while they were moving. “Mickey, without us they’d have opened it by force. To do that, they’d have blown up the sun, so you’ve done us a favour.” The Doctor slapped a quick kiss on Mickey’s forehead and shoved him forward, “Now, run!”

The Doctor led them to the hall where Jackie should be, if she’d gone at the same speed for the right length of time. They were just in time to see two Cybermen speak to a human that was blocked from view. Pete had his gun out before the Doctor could react, and the Cybermen collapsed in a cloud of dust. 

Everything seemed to slow down for a few moments. Jackie Tyler stepped out of the dust and into the view of Pete. She didn’t understand at first, and the Doctor tried to explain, but Jackie just told him to shut it, so he stepped back. It was like looking in a mirror. The way they spoke to each other, so unsure, but clicking on a subatomic level. The look on Jackie’s face was a perfect copy of Rose’s after the Doctor appeared from certain death unscathed. From behind him, the Doctor could see Pete’s shoulders sag in recognition, and Rose was projecting waves of disbelief at him.  _ I imagined this so many times as a kid, but never like this. _

Beside him, Mickey snorted silently when Jackie said she’d never had anyone else. While the Doctor knew about all of Jackie’s boyfriends and dates, he understood what she meant. All those years, and no one had been right. He knew the feeling.

They even hugged the same. Pete lifted Jackie up as she swung her legs in the air, and the Doctor saw his relationship with Rose from the outside for the first time. It was no wonder people had always known they were meant to be together. They’d been hugging like that since just after their first Christmas, with Charles Dickens. Seeing Jackie with Pete, it was so obvious they were meant to be, and that was what the Doctor and Rose had looked like to everyone else.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough time for Jackie and Pete to continue their reunion, and soon the Doctor had to usher everyone to the cataloguing room. He knew how he was going to fix things, he just need to grab those magna clamps. Rose warned him when to get down, and he grabbed the clamps no problem. Rather than leaving right away though, he slipped on his glasses and double checked the room. He’d been right. Every Dalek and Cyberman was soaked in a squiggly aura. As he watched the Daleks escorting the Ark opened up the roof and began to rise out of the building.

What was he missing? What Time Lord science could help the Daleks? He wasn’t looking forward to going up 45 flights, but Jake saved him from listening to Jackie’s complaints at the last second by showing up with the elevator. It was a tight fit, with six people and two magna clamps stuffed in one lift, but they did it anyway.

They were just in time, running into the lever room again, to watch a panel open on the side of the Ark. After a moment, a Dalek shot out. Then another, and another. 

“Time Lord Science.” The Doctor said, grimacing at the idiocy of his people. “It’s bigger on the inside.”

Mickey sounded suspicious when he spoke, and he had every right to. “The Time Lords put those Daleks in there, what for?”

Nearing the end of the Time War, the Time Lords had stooped about as low as they could go. Desperate, and angry, they’d rounded up as many Daleks as they could. The absolute worst of the species, the ones gone mad, the one’s who’d obliterated entire planets. They’d shoved them into the so called ‘Genesis Ark’. 

But that wasn’t its intended purpose. “It’s a prison ship.” How could he not have noticed? He had even thought to himself that it was shaped like a Dalek. What else could it have been for?

From beside him, Rose asked in a voice much braver than the Doctor felt. “How many Daleks?”

“Millions.” It wasn’t going to end. If his plan didn’t work, they were going to come back and destroy Earth. His second home. The closest species he had to the Time Lords, and they were all going to be destroyed, all because his people had wanted to make the Daleks suffer.

A warm hand slipped into his, and he looked down at Rose.  _ It’ll work. We’ll fix it, you and me. _

Pete jumped into action, and in seconds he had a spare teleport hanging from Jackie’s neck. The Doctor was still watching, making sure that every Dalek who exited the ship was just as squiggly as the rest. If Rose said it would work, then it would. Pete called out his name, and the Doctor couldn’t help grinning, “Oh, I’m ready.” At the same time, he casually lifted his barriers. Rose looked at him funny, but he was busy setting the computer to reboot so he ignored it. 

She didn’t need to know what he really had planned. She couldn’t, or she’d argue. 

It was fun to explain, to point out his genius and get everyone excited for the saving of not just one universe, but two! Rose was all on board, even asking about his glasses before he lost hope for the whole group. 

He knew the moment she realized the truth. She really had been getting cleverer every day, and halfway through his explanation her mind when banging on his walls. When internal fighting didn’t work, she resorted to verbal communication. She cut off his words, and ignored the fact that they hadn’t explained anything about their bond to anyone.

Her sentence started like they were in the middle of a conversation. “Oi! Don’t shut me out, tell me what we’re going to do about you and me bein’ covered in this Void stuff.”

The Doctor rounded on her and threw down his barriers.  _ You know exactly what I’m going to do, and you’re going to let me. _

_ The hell I am! I make my own decisions, Doctor. How many times do I have to tell you that? _

_ Rose, I promised your mum that- _

_ I don’t give a damn. I’m staying and if you try anything funny I swear to God I’ll slap you hard enough to make the one you got from my mum feel like gettin’ hit with a pillow. _

“What the hell are you two doing just standing there?” Jackie looked completely lost, but before the Doctor could come up with an excuse as to why he and Rose had been glaring into each other’s eyes in complete silence for a full minute, Mickey blundered his way into the conversation.

He chuckled, and got his conspiracy face on. “I bet it’s some kind of Time Lord telepathy.”

Pete took this chance to lean over to Jackie, “I meant to ask love, but how did you end up having an alien daughter?”

The look on Jackie’s face made the three men in the room take a few steps back, and Rose put herself between Jackie and the Doctor. “Mum, it’s not what you think. I mean to tell you. That was the whole reason we came to visit!”

“And what, it just slipped your mind?” Jackie’s eyes were already tearing up, but the way her hand was clenching every few seconds kept the Doctor from trying to interfere.

Rose snorted, “Yeah, actually. There was a bloody Cyberman in the house!”

“Oi, you watch your mouth young lady. Now how long have you been…and for that matter how the hell could this happen? What did you do to her?” Jackie pointed at the Doctor, and looked like she was going to come after him, but Rose got in the way again.

From the corner, the computer bleeped.  _ “Reboot in two minutes.” _

Rose planted her hands on her mother’s shoulders and caught her gaze. Much softer now, she said, “The Doctor didn’t do anything mum, I did. I wanted to become a Time Lord, so he wouldn’t be alone. It only just happened, not long ago at all. Don’t you understand, I’ve gotta stay with him. He needs me.”

The Doctor watched as Jackie’s lip quivered, and she held Rose’s face in her hands, “Darling,  _ I  _ need you. You’ve got to come with us. Please, sweetheart.” But Rose didn’t respond, just pulled her into a hug. The Doctor didn’t dare move. Rose was right, she made her own choices and as much as it killed him to imagine something going wrong, he couldn’t deny that it felt right to have her by his side. 

As soon as he’d accepted Rose was staying with him, more timelines collapsed, until there was just one branch left. One more decision that needed to be taken, and it would decide something cosmically important.

Finally Jackie was the one to pull away. “Right then, you and himself better get to saving the world.” She wiped clumsily at her eyes, and let Pete wrap an arm around her. Just before Pete activated the teleports Jackie mustered a smile. “I love you sweetheart, and I always will.”

And they were gone. 

“Rose-” The Doctor’s words trailed off. He’d wanted to remind her, give her one last chance. But she’d started crying, and he knew the only reason she’d cry like that was if there was simply no other option for her. She was staying.

He left her alone for a moment. They still had time before the breach opened again, since everything had run so quickly. It gave him a chance to double check the levers, making sure they were locked in the ‘on’ position and would open the breach as soon as the computer was ready. The Doctor could hear Rose sniffling, trying to compose herself as he grabbed the magna clamps. All he wanted was to hug her, but this needed to be done. He first attached one to the left wall, and then another to the right, and then it was time.

Standing next to the right hand side clamp, the Doctor helplessly sent Rose the instructions, and watched her go to her position on the left. “It’ll all be okay, Rose. I promise. Just hold on tight. You’re a Time Lady now, and that strength should make things a little easier on you.”

For a moment the Doctor’s vision went blurry, and he was struck with a scene so achingly different. For some reason he and Rose had switched sides, the lever had gone offline and Rose was hanging onto it for dear life. Pain and fear swamped him when he realized that this version of Rose wasn’t a Time Lady, and her hands were slipping.

Just as the breach opened, the Doctor came back to himself, but he couldn’t help screaming to Rose. “Hold on. Promise me you’ll hold on, whatever happens!”

He barely saw Rose nod as Daleks began flying past them, screeching with their grating robotic voices. The suction of the void was strong enough to have the Doctor bracing himself with a foot to the base of the shifting mechanism, and Rose was doing the same, but Cybermen and Daleks zoomed past with enough force that one of them bounced off the lever on the Doctor’s side. Blissfully, the lever was still locked into position, and it didn’t turn off.

They waited while a world’s worth of monsters were pulled into hell, and the Doctor couldn’t even find it in himself to be happy about it. He kept his eyes trained on Rose, on her grip and how tired she looked from hanging on.  _ Just a few more seconds, love please hold on. Rose please. _

Just before the breach was about to close, the pull gone immensely stronger, and both Rose and the Doctor were forcefully lifted from the ground. The position Rose had locked her arms into shifted, and suddenly she was only hanging on with one elbow.  _ I’m okay, Doctor, I’m okay. It’s okay _ .

And it was. As Rose spoke, the breached sealed itself and the return of proper gravity threw the Doctor and Rose to the floor beneath their clamps. “Rose.” The Doctor crawled across the room to her and curled his whole body around her, desperate to feel her close to him.  _ Rose Rose Rose Rose _ . It was the only word he could think of as the two of them lay on on the hard floor, shaking like leaves.

She was there. She was safe and with him and that awful other world wasn’t real and Rose was there. The Doctor buried his face in her shoulder and started crying, unable to shake the feeling that there was a whole other world in which he lost her. Rose burst into tears as well, and shared her own false memories. She’d seen Pete grabbing her at the last second and being left in the wrong universe and screaming for him.

They stayed there. The majority of Torchwood’s staff had been killed, and whoever was left appeared to have quit on the spot because no one came to bother them. After two hours and 34 minutes, the Doctor found the strength to stand, and he pulled Rose up with him. He wanted to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, here's where things get complicated.  
> I know I technically ended before the episode was over, but I want to dedicate an entire chapter to their adjustment to still being together, etc. I hope to get that up sometime in the next week. In the meantime, I'm going to be contemplating my options for finishing off this story. I really do want to see what it's like for them with other companions, but I have another fic idea that is buzzing my brain to pieces and I really want to work on it for a while. I'm considering making this a series, and ending this first work after the next chapter. Then, if I start working on a continuation, I can make it a different fic and not worry about time pressures or anything.  
> Opinions? I'd love to hear them, whether they're about the next chapter or this chapter or anything else. The input you guys give me really does make a difference in how I work. Thanks so much for the appreciation and comments that I've gotten so far, you guys are rockstars and I adore you!


	22. A Bit Inbetween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's another one of these. The last, in fact. It would be cruel to send you off without the mandatory first time scene. It's actually quite plotty, at least I think so, though of course, nothing absolutely essential to the story. Anyway, I hope you like it.
> 
> Unbeta'd: All sexy mistakes are mine
> 
> Rating: Explicit-for sexual content

After checking the mainframe, they found that the Tardis had been stored in the basement with other high priority items. In an effort to avoid Unit, should any of them be left or on their way, the two of them took the stairs. It was slow going, but it gave them time to think.

For once, the Doctor managed to keep his mind from wandering to benign, unimportant things. Instead he considered all that had happened, and how Rose was a part of it. This was the third time Rose had saved him in the face of the Daleks. Sure, technically he would still have been able to banish them, along with the Cybermen, back to the Void. But, even knowing he defeated them didn’t mean much to the Doctor anymore.

What was the point? He’d destroyed his entire planet, his entire species, to rid the universe of Daleks and they had come back again, and again. First in Utah, where the Doctor nearly killed the mad creature in cold blood until Rose stepped in front of it and very clearly asked him, “What the hell are you changing into?” Daleks were the most fearful and despised species, ever. Hating them was coded into the Doctor’s DNA, and Rose had shown it mercy and changed it into a creature that craved only sunlight and freedom. She’d saved him and made him put the gun down. One life he could spare from the war, and it had killed itself anyway.

Then there was the Game Station. If seeing one Dalek was like a living nightmare, seeing an entire fleet with Rose in the middle had been like stepping back into the war. He’d gone into soldier mode, sent Rose away, and prepared to die. He had fully intended to kill the entire human race as a sacrifice on the way to destroying the Daleks. Yet when the Emperor asked him, “What are you? Coward or killer?” He couldn’t do it. Not again.

And Rose had made him feel like that was a strength of his, not a weakness. She’d been so proud he had refused to hurt anyone. She’d come back as the Bad Wolf and saved him, taking the guilt from him and reminding him he didn’t have to do it alone. This time he hadn’t. He’d chosen Rose, when he knew that in some other sick universe he hadn’t, and he’d lost her. But here she was, holding his hand and milling in her own thoughts, and suddenly he couldn’t stand to be so far from her mind.

_ Rose _ he whispered to her, making his presence known at the edge of her consciousness. She was hurting, even worse than him, and while all he craved was her mind, if she wanted to be alone he would leave her be.

She didn’t. In a gush of emotion, the Doctor was pulled to her and soaked in her thoughts, so many of them scattering like leaves on the wind. Rose missed her mother, but she was happy Jackie could be with Pete, and Mickey was gone again, but Rose was staying with the Doctor. They’d defeated the bad guys, but so many lives had been lost, and she’d been so scared. Niggling away at the back of her head was a thought Rose hated for its inappropriate nonchalance. She wanted chips, and tea, and a nap.

When they reached the Tardis, that’s what they did. The Doctor left Rose sitting on the bench next to the console and let her think some more, as he piloted them to Rose’s favourite chippy a few blocks down from the estate. The reality of what was left could wait. When you’ve seen the world end, whether it’s the loss of your planet, or of your family, sometimes you just need something familiar.

Rose waited in the Tardis while he got food. She’d finished making tea, and was staring into her mug when the Doctor returned to the kitchen. The corner of her mouth twitched up at the smell and sight of chips wrapped in newspaper, then it abruptly fell into a frown and her stare only hardened.

The Doctor sat across the table from her and scooted the chips towards her. “It’s okay to smile, Rose. You’re allowed.” He didn’t tell her how much he’d wished someone had said that to him after the war ended. It was a truth he’d had to work so hard to understand, and he didn’t want Rose to be in the dark about it for anything. “Jackie, and Mickey...they’re alive, because you saved them. They’re safe.”

Blinking away a few tears, Rose nodded at him. Then she plucked a small chip from the mass and slipped it into her mouth. It was a strange sight, to see Rose smile as she cried.  _ Mum was always fussing about me eating, even when I was upset. _ Memories of a teary Rose curled up on the couch in her flat floated to the Doctor. Jackie appeared, slightly younger than he was used to, and offered up a tray of biscuits, scolding when Rose didn’t take one. It was so like Jackie, the Doctor chuckled.

They ate in near silence, with Rose speaking only to his mind. Words were a little too hard at the moment, and the Doctor didn’t push. After the chips were gone and the tea was drunk, the Doctor led Rose to their bedroom. He helped her strip down her layers, and tugged her into the bathroom for a shower. They hadn’t done this since the incident with the buckets, but the Doctor was running on a need to take care of Rose, to remind himself she was still there with him and he hadn’t lost her.

He washed her hair for her, and she did his. Now the Doctor smelled like pranditsies too, and he had to admit it was wonderful being covered in the scent he now considered entirely Rose’s. She only gave him a small smile at his confession, that quickly broke down into sobs. So he held her under the steady spray of warm water and let it wash away the tears. Drying each other off, they pulled on their pajamas and climbed into bed.

It felt like they’d been gone for ages, but the Doctor’s reading glasses were still sitting on the nightstand where he’d left them the night before when kissing Rose had distracted him from his book. The cold cup of breakfast tea Rose had forgotten to finish was waiting to be cleaned up on the top of the dresser, and the tie the Doctor had been considering wearing that morning was draped over the back of the armchair they used for extra close snuggling.

Rose dropped off after only a few minutes, but for once the Doctor couldn’t sleep, even with her next to him. He watched her instead, repeating to himself over and over  _ She’s still here, she’s with me forever, she’s still here _ . Eventually Rose shifted, and her outstretched hand rested in the space between his hearts. They would be okay, they had to be. After all of this, they deserved it.

The Doctor had a nightmare. It was the same vision he’d had in the lever room, only this time no one caught Rose, and she disappeared into the Void. He woke up shouting, and couldn’t see straight until Rose put both hands on his face and forced him to look at her. When he saw her he crumpled into her and squeezed her as tightly as he could. Without the strength of mind to put up barriers, he could feel how he’d overloaded Rose’s senses with his fear.

She comforted him with kisses peppered along his cheeks and forehead, and he basked in her touch. As soon as her path came near enough, he caught her mouth with his. The Doctor had worried he would be too jittery, too frantic to kiss her properly, but it was like her lips had a soothing balm on them. The instant they touched his, he stopped shivering with anxiety, and he developed a single minded focus on kissing Rose as long as he could.

It seemed Rose was happy to oblige him, and they chased each other’s lips for a while, occasionally sneaking away to press kisses to the other’s jaw or cheek. It was soft and safe, and the Doctor was thoroughly surprised when it grew into more without him noticing. One minute he was chastly kissing Rose’s chin, and the next he was sucking on her pulse point. He left a mark on either side of her neck, and went to add more down her chest, but Rose stopped him in favor of leaving her own marks.

Everything felt so easy, unhurried and innocent. They didn’t sleep in much anyway, but what they did have on was slipped off until they lay skin to skin. The Doctor was happy to let Rose take the lead in everything but the actual kissing. She climbed on top of him and nipped and licked her way down his chest and abdomen, but every minute or so he would tug her back up for a now bruising kiss and a sweep of his tongue into her mouth. 

He’d had the most practice with kissing, and he thought it would be his favourite thing for the rest of their lives, until Rose moved just a few inches below his abdomen and lay an open mouthed kiss to the head of his cock. He let out a surprised whimper, but Rose didn’t stop there, and slid his length into her mouth as far as it would go.

That, that was his favourite thing. Rose’s hand pushed down on his pelvis to keep him still, and as she slowly began bobbing up and down the Doctor’s hands moved of their own accord into her hair. It was so completely new, and the wet drag of Rose’s tongue around him left the Doctor speechless and groaning. When she did something spectacular with her tongue again, the Doctor accidentally tugged on Rose’s hair and she moaned around him. The feeling set off all kinds of good feelings, and the Doctor felt heat pool in his belly. Apparently the hair thing was something they shared.

It was so good. Too good, and soon the Doctor had to pull Rose up by the shoulders and kiss her again to stop her from doing any more. “I want-can we?”

Rose just nodded, and shifted into a more comfortable position above him. Before she could try to initiate the last step they’d yet to cross, the Doctor glided one hand down her side, and the other up to her breast, kneading it as his fingers found their way between her thighs. He’d worried, and he shouldn’t have. There was clearly not going to be any problems with Rose being aroused enough. 

He touched her anyway, stroking her the way he knew from just once before she liked. They’d never properly disconnected before bed or before kissing, and she was still in his head, giving him tips, showing him what made her feel the best. She just hovered over him for a bit, humming and moaning, and occasionally dipping down to kiss him. It was bliss. Every new step they took, the Doctor swore it was his favourite, that nothing could be better.

It wasn’t until Rose positioned his cock at her centre and slowly lowered herself onto him that he found the apex of the list. This. There was absolutely nothing else in the universe that could feel this good. Rose whined quietly at the feeling, and clung to him for a moment to adjust. He didn’t mind, the idea of moving was a little ways out of his mind’s reach. He did mind when Rose began talking to him through their bond. She was far too composed for his liking, and he made plans to fix that as he listened to her.

_ Doctor, do you think that just this first time we could, separate a little? I want to know what it’s like to do this without the telepathy, just this once.  _ It seemed like a strange request, but if it made Rose happy, there was nothing the Doctor wouldn’t do. Besides, she’d said first time. Which implied more times. Many, many more times.

He nodded, and Rose must have had a plan to condition him into obeying her every whim because the way she lifted herself and then slowly ground back down onto him felt like some kind of reward. Rose may have had the average body temperature of a Time Lady, but right now she felt absolutely  _ hot _ , not to mention so very tight and soft, and as soon as Rose gave an indication that the Doctor could try moving he took his chance.

Wrapping his arms around Rose’s waist to hold her a certain distance above him, he thrust up. Another reward, this time Rose moaning. Another thrust and her top half collapsed down onto his chest, and her responding whimper was right in his ear. After than it became a bit of a blur. He lost most of his senses, and the highest form of thinking he could manage while keeping up a slightly choppy rhythm was moving his hand between them to stroke her as well.

Without Rose’s mental encouragement, the Doctor focused solely on the sounds she was making. Each time he heard the right pitch of moan, whimper, or whine, he repeated exactly what he’d done a few more times before trying anything new, and soon Rose was shaking.

“Close?” he asked, desperately hoping for an affirmative. Putting so much of his attention on Rose hadn’t done much to curb his own arousal, and he didn’t know how much longer he could last.

She nodded into his neck, and the Doctor accidentally growled at the effort of not coming then and there. He sped up, and Rose met him at each push. Screw the respiratory bypass, the both of them were panting like crazy, and it was the only real sound in the room besides their skin against each other.

Rose came first, as the Doctor always intended her to, and as a broken cry spilled from her lips to his ear, the Doctor gave into the impulse he’d been resisting. The bed was massive, had been since Rose’s first proper night in his room, and it made it actually quite easy to roll on top of Rose without even having to separate. Being above her was a completely different experience, and the Doctor wasted no time in thrusting against her as hard and fast as he could. It was Rose that pushed him over the edge, as always. She lifted her knees and the angle changed to something so deep and so good that the Doctor instantly came.

He held her close, whispering nonsense into her ear in Gallifreyan and shuddering with every pulse. There was no comparison. Never would be. His whole body was surely glowing because for a moment the Doctor thought he was regenerating, but with pleasure not pain.

As he came down, he recognized that Rose was also whispering in his ear. In Gallifreyan. Rose knew Gallifreyan, and she was using it to promise him everything. All of time and space, all of herself. Forever.

Kissing her didn’t cover it. He wanted to worship her for hours until the only word she knew was his name. But that would have to wait.

Slipping out of Rose made both of them groan, and his arms felt like jelly from the rush of chemicals still sweeping through him that wanted nothing more than to lay boneless on the bed like Rose, but the Doctor still forced himself to get up. He went into the ensuite for a cloth and made sure it was properly damp with warm water, then cleaned himself and Rose up. Unlike the first time, Rose was failing at staying awake. 

She blinked slowly and constantly, like she was fighting to keep her eyes open. The Doctor just nuzzled her nose and whispered, “Go ahead and sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Whether it was the permission or the reassurance that did the trick, the Doctor didn’t know, but Rose let her eyelids fall and was asleep before he even got back from returning the cloth to the bathroom.

Rather than climb into bed right away, the Doctor pulled on a pair of grey sleep sweats and headed out to the infirmary to find what he needed. He left it on the nightstand along with a glass of water and a note before finally joining Rose in sleep. There were no more nightmares that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've been having a nice discussion in the comments, and I agree with you all. It's best to let this story end, so I can work on others for a while. Someday soon, hopefully I'll come back and give you guys a sequel and we can see how the dynamic changes in the Tardis with new companions, and how Rose adjusts to being a Time Lady. 
> 
> There will be one ending chapter, which I'll upload tomorrow. I'm warning you ahead of time, it's a bit short, but hopefully still good.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments, and as always, thanks for reading, lovelies. <3


	23. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, finally at the end of the story. I just wanna thank everyone for coming along with me for the ride. I never expected to get this good of a reception, and every single comment and kudo I've received has meant more than the world to me. You are all inspirational, thank you so much. Anyway, on with the show!
> 
> Unbeta'd: All mistakes are mine
> 
> Rating: Teen & Up

Somehow Rose woke up before the Doctor the next morning, and by the time he opened his eyes she was brushing her hair on the edge of the bed. Languid was the only description for how the Doctor was feeling, but it was clear there was something on Rose’s mind. A quick peek at the nightstand showed that she’d taken the pill he’d left there, and the note was moved. He’d only even written it in case she got up in the night.

“It said to prevent any accidents. What does that mean?” Rose asked, sweeping her now smooth hair over her shoulder. The Doctor was kind of sad he’d missed her bedhead.

He didn’t speak for a moment, and just watched her moving around the room to get clothing for the day. The night before he’d realized Rose’s change had new implications for their relationship. “Well, we’re the same species now, Rose. And it’s been nearly a thousand years since the Time Lords were sterile.”

Rose considered it for a moment without taking the information the Doctor was trying to send her. He let her work it out on her own instead, and it didn’t take long. There were new tears in her eyes when she looked at him, but the feeling she was projecting was anything but sad. “You’re saying, that if we wanted to…”

“The Time Lords are no longer extinct, Rose. Not if we, if you want to.” He didn’t want to push. It was never going to happen without Rose’s enthusiastic consent.

Her response was to jump into his lap and snog him senseless. After he’d tipped her onto her side and cuddled close to her, she pressed their foreheads together and whispered,  _ Definitely. Not right now of course, there’s till too much to see. But someday, definitely. _

They managed to get out of bed properly a few hours later, after a snuggle session another shower that they spent way too much time in. It wasn’t until they reached the console room, fully dressed and holding hands, ready to go, that they realized they didn’t know what to do next. The logical thing would be to go to the estate and clear out Rose’s flat, or sell it, or something. But Rose wasn’t ready to go back, she’d told him so.

Rose had apparently been scheming, hoping, and she relayed those hopes to the Doctor in a whisper. Wasn’t there a way to at least send a message? To say goodbye properly, or explain anything? Just one last closing crack was all she wanted, just a chance to say goodbye.

Her belief in the Doctor nearly hurt. She was so sure he would find a way, so he did his best. He scanned and recalibrated and scanned some more. Then he did some maths that Rose refused to even look at because of their complexity, and he did another recalibration. If they could find one more crack, and a big enough source of power, they just might be able to get a message through.

It was only a few days for them, until the Doctor found it. He’d woken Rose from her nap with a hurried kiss and dragged her to the control room. There wasn’t any time to lose. He’d hooked up the Tardis to a sun in an empty system, it was about to go supernova and they needed to use it as power. He put Rose into position, and warned her. “You’ll look real to them, but this is just a projection. Just an image, no touching.”

“What about you? Will they be able to see you too?”  Rose looked scared, even though she was going to be seeing her family again in a matter of minutes. Though, the Doctor would probably be scared too, if he were about to face the Time Lords.

He squeezed her in a tight hug and kissed the top of her head before shaking his own. “I”m sorry Rose, there’s barely enough energy for one projection, let alone two. I’ll be here the whole time, but I can’t hear or see them, and they can’t hear or see me. Just you.”

She nodded her understanding, and then he got back to business. Whirring his sonic at the console and then flipping the last couple switches, he rambled. “Now, I don’t know where you’ll come out, so first thing’s first, we’ve got to call Jackie to come meet you. Hopefully she’ll realize it’s you.”

When he pointed to her, Rose spoke, “Mum? Um, look, you’ve got to follow this voice, I mean, my voice. Come find me!”

It only took a few seconds before the scanner showed someone standing next to the crack, and the Doctor sent Rose’s image through. He couldn’t see what she saw, and he only hoped they’d ended up close to Jackie. The best he could do was listen to Rose’s side of the conversation. 

After a moment, Rose looked back at the space he was in. While she was projecting she couldn’t see him either, but she could hear him. “She says I look like a ghost, can we fix that?”

“Yeah, here you go.” he switched the setting on the screwdriver and concentrated the image into something that looked more solid.

He watched them talk. Rose managed not to cry, though her shoulders started shaking almost immediately. Hoping to offer comfort, he stepped up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. Immediately, her hand came up to cover it and the conversation changed to him. Rose was laughing a little. “He’s not hiding from you, it’s just hard to get this message through the collapsing gap in realities.”

The Doctor couldn’t help smiling, “I get what Jackie means now, you sound like me.”

Rose jumped slightly, as though she’d forgotten he could talk to her. Then she tried to explain to her mum. “Yeah, he said that too. Look, mum, I haven’t got much time and I wanted to tell you about...well about us. I’m sorry. I should have told you the second we got home. I’m a Time Lord, mum. An alien now, just like him. His ship changed me so that I could be with him forever.”

She frowned at something, “No, I don’t mean it  _ made  _ me. I wanted it. I asked for it. He needs me, mum. And I need him.”

There was a long pause, and Rose reached her hand back, searching for his. When he took it, the projection seized him. Rose and the Tardis must’ve had something to do with it. The Tardis flickered away and now he was standing on an empty beach. Without his other senses, he couldn’t determine where he was, but he had a bad feeling it wasn’t anywhere near London. Jackie was staring at him. 

She looked older than they’d left her, by a couple months at least. They’d been drifting in the vortex, so who knew how long it’d been. Beside her stood Pete, dressed casually for once, in a warm jumper and jeans. And just a foot or so to the side, Mickey. He carried himself differently, now. So confident in his own abilities, sure he knew what he was meant to be doing. It was a good look on him.

“Mum, I can still have that. The Doctor told me, he said that since we’re the same species now…” The Doctor snapped his view to Rose. She wanted to tell them? Of course she did, what else would Jackie be worried about than her daughter getting the chance to have a family, a semi-normal life?

The Doctor shifted even closer to her, and beamed first at her, then at Jackie. “She’s right. Not now, of course. Like Rose told me, too many adventures to be had. But someday.”

A tension he hadn’t noticed dropped from Jackie’s shoulders, and she even managed a smile through the tears that were streaking down her face. “Listen, you. You took my daughter away from me, and didn’t bring her back for a whole year. Then when she finally comes home, she’s so different, I barely recognize her.” The Doctor looked down in shame. “But it’s a good different. You gave Rose a life I never could have, you made her strong and proud and even more amazing. Don’t you ever forget that. If you treat her wrong, I swear to you I will blast my way through every bloody dimension just to slap you.”

He didn’t doubt it. “Yes ma’am.”

“Now you two had better go.” Jackie said, and she crossed her arms in resignation.

Rose jerked, “But mum, we’ve got a little more time. Haven’t we, Doctor?”

He nodded, “You do, about a minute and a half left.”

But Jackie wasn’t having it. She shook her head and stepped back a little. “I don’t want anything we say to get lost because you’ve run out of time. It’s better than you go now, while we’ve said everything important. Now I’m gonna say this one last time, and Rose you’ve got to remember. I love you more than anything, goodbye sweetheart. The same to you Doctor, and there’s no getting out of it.”

It seemed Rose had reached her breaking point, and she started to cry. Her grip on the Doctor’s hand was tight enough to limit blood flow, but he would never let go. Instead he wrapped an arm around around her shoulder and gave Jackie one last smile. “Goodbye Jackie.” And he turned to look at the men, “Bye Pete, and goodbye Mickey.”

Mickey grinned, and the Doctor was surprised to see it was slightly watery. “See ya, Boss.”

They really were running out of time, but Rose managed to compose herself and say, “Goodbye guys, I love you.”

The sonic was still in the Doctor’s hand, and he pressed its button to disable the image. The timer on the console screen was at 10 seconds. They’d just managed it.

The Doctor hugged Rose for a couple seconds, but soon she pulled away. “No use crying. It’s not like they’re dead, right? And who knows, after we have a few kids maybe we’ll have enough brainpower to get back through and go see their grandparents.” She was trying to cheer herself up, and the Doctor couldn’t be more proud.

If she wanted to be distracted, he was happy to let her. “Where did the gap come out, did she tell you?”

Rose laughed at that, and a little of the sparkle came back to her eyes. “Norway, in a place mum couldn’t pronounce. But she said it translated as, get this, ‘Bad Wolf Bay’.

It was unbelievable. No chance for a coincidence, not this time. When Rose had been the Bad Wolf, she’d admitted to knowing everything that ever could be. Apparently that included this version of events, and she’d created a failsafe so Rose could say goodbye.

The Doctor kissed her, hard. “You’re fantastic, love.”

“Yeah I am, and you’re stuck with me.” Rose jumped into the Doctor’s arms and wrapped her legs around his middle so they could hug properly. He buried his face into her hair and took a moment to indulge himself. Rose was here, with him forever. His wife, by nearly every definition.

 

At the same time, Rose and the Doctor jerked their heads upwards. He dropped her to the grating and together they turned to look at the new presence inside the Tardis.

It was a woman in a wedding dress. A human woman, standing in their Tardis that was floating in deep space. In a wedding dress.

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for ending it on a bit of a cliffhanger, but I figured it was worth it since we all know how things end up.
> 
> Thank you again for all your support! If you're feeling a bit sad that this story is over, I invite you to take a peek at the next one I'm working on. It's a lot more fanciful, but I'm having loads of fun with it and I think it's going to be absolutely brilliant! The fic is called "Spellbound" and you can find it on my dashboard. It's an Ella Enchanted AU, but I promise you shouldn't need to have seen the movie to understand anything happening in the fic. It's going to be a Teen & Up rated fic, but hopefully the story will make up for a lack of steamy sex scenes.
> 
> Enough of me rambling, have a lovely day my darlings!


End file.
